It's A Wonderful (After) Life Title: It's a Wonderful (After) Life Author: Terri E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com Rating: R, adult themes Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, with the exception of Jack the bartender, referred to in the story. Darn. Archive: WRFA, Mutual Admiration, Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut - all others, please ask :) Feedback: Please? With a shiny star on top? Good, bad, and ugly welcome, but I'll warn you - flames may be publicly mocked ;) Summary: Marie hits a very low point, and gets a visit by a surly angel looking to earn his wings. Comments: Two mild warnings: First, this isn't as foofy as Three Spirits, the other fic I've done that ripped off a classic Christmas story. It's definitely on the darker side. Second, the religious/theological beliefs represented herein may or may not be representative of your own spiritual beliefs. In other words, please don't write me notes saying - 'hey, that's not how heaven works!' :) This was inspired partially by a plot bunny that envisioned Jean looking into Mirror Mirror only to hear that Rogue is the prettiest of them all and by a plot bunny asking for a fic where Logan and Marie have a Groundhog Day - they keep repeating their day until they get it right. I didn't get either one of those bunnies done exactly right here ;) And I can't remember who sent in either one of them (BadWriter!!) so please let me know if they were yours :) ------------------------------------------------------------ Rogue paced the medlab waiting room, hysterical and in tears. Everything had gone terribly wrong. The Brotherhood had attacked the mansion, on Christmas Day no less, in an effort to kidnap Rogue for one more try in Magneto's rebuilt machine. An all-out battle had ensued and many of the x-men had been injured. Rogue herself was critically injured - Sabretooth just couldn't hold his bloodlust in check once the fight got going - but after beating back the bulk of the attackers, Logan had touched her, healing her and bringing her back from the brink of death. The last words she had heard Jean utter before rushing Logan to the medlab were 'he's dead, no heartbeat, no pulse, no breathing.' Now, Rogue hoped against hope that Jean was finding a way to bring him back. It wasn't just Logan, Marie thought. Hank had tangled with Sabretooth in a valiant but doomed effort to prevent him from getting to her. Bobby - poor Bobby! - was probably trying to fuse his shattered arm back together, still in his frozen state, after Mystique had taken a swipe at him as he blocked her path to Rogue. And even Jubes was down, knocked unconscious while fighting for her. I'm not worth it, Rogue thought, on the brink of panic, I'm just not worth it. Jean abruptly swung the doors open and stuck her head in. "He's back. He'll live, I think." She was about to duck back into the medlab when Rogue rushed toward her, pulling up short of arms- length. "Can I see him? Is he going to be OK?" "I don't know," Jean answered in clipped tones. "But since you asked Bobby and Hank will live too." Rogue hung her head at Jean's scathing tone. "I'm sorry," Rogue sobbed. "Please, can I see them?" "I don't think it's a very good idea for you to be anywhere near them right now," Jean snapped, disappearing through the door. Rogue fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably. "Oh, God, please," she begged, "please let them be OK. Please." Jean was right, she thought, she didn't belong anywhere near them. Not anywhere near them or another living thing. She could only bring pain and death to anyone who got close to her. Rising to her feet, and wiping at her tears a little, she took in the sights of the waiting room and strained to hear the voices beyond the door for a few moments before fleeing the medlab, and the mansion. She ran down the driveway and into the street, heading for town. She didn't know how far it was, but she knew where she was heading - there was a bridge that crossed high over a river. I have to do it now, Rogue thought, when no one will be able to come after me, when Logan can't try to save me. I have to protect them, I can't hurt them anymore. It was snowing outside, so it took her quite a while to cover the few miles to the bridge. By the time she arrived, she was covered in snow, and had caught the attention of more than a few passers by. She was relieved that none tried to stop her as she made her way to the middle of the bridge. It was designed for both pedestrian and auto traffic, but there was none tonight, not in the storm. Slowing her gait to a walk as soon as her feet hit the bridge's pedestrian path, she tried to slow her tears as well. When she got to the middle of the bridge, she stopped, and looked down into the dark, swirling waters below. "I'm so sorry," she muttered, her words carried off by the wind. "I didn't mean to - I didn't mean for all this to happen. It has to stop. It just has to stop. God, I wish - I wish I'd never even been born. I wish I'd never hurt them." She let her thoughts drift to Logan for just a brief moment before steeling herself for the task ahead of her. It was high enough, she thought, and the river showed a strong current. Even if the fall didn't do her in, the temperature of the water would - she could see thick ice crust along the river banks. Yes, she thought, this would do. "There's no other way," she whispered, tightening her gloved hands on the rail that separated her from her fate. Just as she was about to vault herself over the waist-high railing, she felt a strong hand at her shoulder, hauling her back from the abyss. "Hey!" she protested. "Hey yourself," the large, muscular, middle-aged man standing beside her replied in a deep bass voice. "Just what do you think that's going to solve, hmmm?" "It's - it's none of your business!" She shook loose of his grasp, furious. "Yeah, it is my business. I was sent here to stop you." "By who? Magneto?" The man looked able, sturdy, and moderately pissed off - definitely a possible brotherhood lackey. "No, somebody else got his case, thank God." "What do you want with me?" Rogue calmed herself and backed up to the railing. If this guy was from some government lab "Look, we could go through the whole no-you're-not, yes-I-am thing, but I really don't have the patience for that, so just believe what I'm about to say to you, all right? I'm an angel, kinda, sent by God, to help you out and stop you from jumping into the river. I know it's traditional to throw myself in so you'll jump in, save me, fish me out, etcetera, but that water is way too cold, and besides, I'm not a good swimmer." "Oh, I see, you're an angel. Right." "Angel-in-training, actually. If I save your life, I get my wings, I get to go into heaven." "Uh-huh." Obviously, I'm dealing with some kind of nutjob, Rogue thought to herself. Just humor the guy and maybe he'll go away. "Well, good job. Good job, there, uh Mr. Angel. My life's all saved now, so I'm sure you'll get your wings." "Nice try. I guess you want a sign from above or something? Something to prove I'm telling you the truth." "Oh, no, I believe you." Can't I even kill myself in peace? Rogue thought, desperately trying to think of something else to placate this weirdo so that she could get on with it. "Fine. Will this do it?" Suddenly, a beam of light shone down on the man and he levitated a few inches above the ground. He still didn't quite look like an angel - his arms were crossed over his chest in frustration and he was raising an eyebrow expectantly at Rogue. "How did you do that?" The angel let out a big sigh. "God's doing it, OK? Look, can we just get on with it?" "Stop it," Rogue said, suddenly angry. "Leave me alone." She whirled back to face the river, but was again halted by the angel's strong hands. "Look, Marie -" She felt his warm breath close to her ear as he spoke. The mention of her name froze her momentarily, and she stopped squirming in his grasp. " - I know you're having a bad day, OK? I'm not fucking with you. I was sent by God to help you out. I'm - I'm Jack. I'm an angel." "Angel-in-training, you said." It came out in a pale whisper. Rogue didn't quite believe he was what he claimed, but she was beginning to believe that something very serious was going on. "Right." He eased his grip on her and gently turned her to face him. She took a good look at his features for the first time. He had piercing blue eyes, shortly clipped salt-and-pepper hair, and a strong jaw and cheekbones. He was handsome, she thought, and would be more so if his face wasn't marred by a scar that ran the length of its left side. "Marie, you can't jump in. People need you. This world needs you." She let out a bark of laughter at that. "I know - I know sometimes it doesn't seem that way, but it's true." "All I've ever done is bring pain and suffering down on the people who cared about me. If you were really sent by God, then you'd know that. And you'd know that I was never meant to - I wasn't meant to be in this world. I'm just a mistake. Look at my mutation - what do you think God is trying to tell me with that?" Jack gave her a long, even stare before gently pulling her to him. She tensed and squirmed, but he held on to her. "I know you got a raw deal with the mutation, but Marie, that doesn't mean you're a mistake." "Who are you?" she asked in frustration. "I'm an angel. Angel-in-training. I've been looking after you for a lot of your life, and for all of my afterlife. They -they gave me you because they weren't sure anyone else would get through to me. I didn't particularly wanna be an angel. I was ready to tell them all to go straight to hell and then head there myself. But you changed that, Marie. You turned me around on that. It's because of you that I started seeing the good in the world again. Don't you see the good in yourself? Don't you know you're not a mistake?" "No," she sobbed, utterly lost. "Then - then let me show you. Let me show you. You said you wished you'd never been born. Let me show you what would happen if you hadn't been." Marie pulled her head back from his shoulder, expecting to be greeted by the chilly north wind. Instead, she found herself no longer on the bridge. Somehow, they'd gone indoors. Into a dingy motel room, in fact. "What - what happened? Where are we?" "We're in the Yukon. Canada." Jack let her out of his embrace. "I thought we'd cut right to the chase and start with the most important person, the one who suffers the most if you're never born. Logan." "Logan would be a lot better off without me." Marie said, turning away from her visual survey of the room to face Jack. "I killed him today, did you know that? Did you see that while you were watching over me?" "I saw a man who doesn't give much of a damn about anything in this world risk his life to save yours. I heard his prayers to a God he doesn't believe in that you'd live, that you'd be OK. He would've given anything for you, Marie." "That's exactly the problem, that's - " Marie's reply was cut off when she saw Logan emerge from the bathroom. He was wearing jeans and nothing else, but he looked somehow different than she'd ever seen him. Harder, rougher, sadder. He walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, seemingly uncaring about the two people standing in his room. "Logan?" "He can't see or hear you. You aren't really here - never born, remember?" Marie looked to Jack in shock. "I'm telling you the truth, Marie. This isn't some dream or hallucination." "Logan," she called again, and again she got no response. Logan clicked on the TV and flung the remote no the floor, but then he lay back down, seemingly uninterested in what was on. "Without you, he doesn't ever hook up with the x-men. He never finds a purpose in life. Oh sure, he thinks about revenge on the men who stole his past, who tortured him, but he never finds them. He's lonely, angry, mean." "Logan's not mean," Marie argued, leaving Jack's side to sit down beside Logan on the bed. "Not the Logan you know. You keep him from turning into a bitter, amoral loner. You keep him connected to the world. You're proof to him that there's something in this world that's good, the only proof. Without you, he loses what little hope and faith he had. Without you, he gives up. He resigns himself to a life of fighting, drinking, and working for whoever will pay him the most money. Today, he took the life of an innocent man, and why? Because someone paid him a lot of money to do it. Any qualms he might've had about taking a job like that vanished a long time ago. Without you to keep him anchored, Logan drifts." "No. No. I can't believe that. He'd - he'd be a lot better off without me." Marie turned her face up to look into Jack's eyes. "He'd find someone, someone good, and he'd be OK. It doesn't have to turn out like that." "But it does turn out like that if you're not in the picture. Marie, no one wants him, no one loves him. Sure, people pass in and out of his life, women hang around for a night or two, but no one really cares about him. They use him for what they want out of him, and then they're gone." Jack moved to stand beside her. "But who wouldn't love Logan?" Marie reached out a gloved hand to touch him, but her hand seemed to pass right through him. She gasped a little, then frowned. "No one loves him, Marie, not really. No one but you. If you're never born, if you never come into his life, he never knows what it feels like to be loved. He just exists, moving from town to town, job to job, until he dies. That's it." Jack let her stare at Logan a bit longer, then laid a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, there's a lotta things to see. Let's go." "I don't want to leave him," Marie said, almost involuntarily. "Well, you should probably think about that the next time you get an urge to throw yourself into a river," Jack said dryly, earning him a harsh look from Marie. "He's not going anywhere. Come on, Marie, there's more." Marie reluctantly rose and Jack took her hand. "I'll warn you," he said softly, squeezing her hand a little. "It doesn't get any better." Before she could answer, they'd changed places again. This time, she was back at Xavier's, in her bedroom. Instead of three beds, her room now held only two. One was filled by Kitty's slumbering form, but the other was empty. "Where's Jubes?" Marie asked. "She's here. Do you remember that night that you and Jubilee stayed up until dawn, talking and doing makeovers on each other?" "Yeah," Marie replied, distracted. She moved away from Jack to peer into the bathroom. The door was open a crack, which was Jubes' usual method of trying not to steam up the bathroom too much while she showered. Steamed-over mirrors were one of Jubes' pet peeves. But Marie couldn't hear any water running. "She'd just found out that her parents were dead, and she joked about committing suicide." "Yeah," Marie answered, almost absently, "but Jubes would never do something like th-" Marie suddenly straightened, and backed a step away from the bathroom door. "No. No. I don't believe it. No way. No. She could've talked to Kitty, she could've talked to anyone. She's - no. I just don't believe it." "She tries talking to Kitty, and to mostly everyone else. They all say they're sorry, but that's about it. Everyone tends to see Jubilee as the little firecracker, always happy, always up. Nobody sees how hard she's taking the news, what a shock it is. You were the only one to realize that she needed to cry it out before she could let it go. You were the only one who pushed her to talk, really talk, about it, before trying to cheer her up. If you're not here, Marie, nobody else catches her, nobody else understands." Marie crossed her arms and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Jack, or whatever your name really is, I don't buy it. Missing one conversation - that's not the kind of thing that would make the difference between Jubes' life or death. And I don't buy that she killed herself. No matter how depressed she was, no matter what." Jack sighed, and moved around Marie toward the still-ajar bathroom door. "I didn't do anything so special that night. I just listened to whatever was on her mind. There's no way that she would - " Jack put a hand on the bathroom door, swinging it fully open. There, sitting upright in the full, steaming bathtub, was Jubilee, clutching a small paring knife from the kitchen in one hand and looking down at her wrists in contemplation. "No," Marie said softly, entering the bathroom. "She doesn't do it," Jack intoned. "Not this time. But this is where she starts thinking about it, starts planning it. It doesn't happen until - well, I can't tell you anything about the future, not really. But without you, it happens eventually. That's the point. With you, it doesn't happen. She has you to lean on." "Oh, Jubes," Marie whispers, sitting down on the toilet and staring into her friend's eyes. "You can't, you just can't." "There's more. Come on, let's go." "But - but we can't just leave her like this, we can't. Kitty - " Jack abruptly grabbed Marie, hauling her to her feet. "You're just not getting it. Look, I know I'm a crappy angel, but you keep saying that - you keep saying that you don't want to leave them, but I swear to God, you'd still probably jump right off that bridge if I put you back on it. You're not a dense girl, Marie. What's it going to take to get through to you?" Jack's anger fired Marie's own temper. "I didn't ask you to intervene, remember? Look - I'm sorry if I'm not having the big revelation that life is peachy, but what you've shown me so far - yeah, it sucks, but there's still a lot of good that would come from me not being around. And this - this won't happen. I *had* that talk with Jubilee, I met Logan - that - that'll be enough. It has to be. If I jump now, they'll still have that. And whatever happened to Logan before, whatever will happen to him now, at least he'll be alive, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for him if I stick around." "Fine. Fine." Jack's eyes flared, and his fingers dug into Marie's flesh as he gripped her more tightly. "You want to see someone who doesn't make it through alive if you're not around? I can show you that." Suddenly, they were back outside again, only this time they were in a thickly wooded forest. The night air was frigid, and the north wind was blowing quite vigorously. "What now?" Marie asked, not bothering to hide her irritation. Jack grimaced, then forcefully spun her around so that she faced away from him, into the woods. At first, she didn't see anything. But after a moment, the moonlight illuminated a small heap of something a few yards away. At first, Marie thought it was a small trash heap, possibly with an old, discarded carpet thrown on top. But she soon realized with horror that the 'carpet' bore the exact same color as Hank's fur. She rushed across the forest to the heap, finding Hank's broken, blood-stained body atop a small pile of what looked like his belongings. "Hank! Hank!" She reached out for him, and even though her hands found his body stiff and frozen, she shook him a little. "Hank!" "Long gone, Marie," Jack said harshly. "Be glad I brought you here before the animals get to him." Marie turned fiery eyes on her guardian angel. "You son of a bitch! How dare you do this?" "I didn't do it, Marie, that's the real kick in the pants. You wanna know who did?" Marie didn't answer, but her eyes narrowed on Jack's, and she set her jaw firmly. "Logan. If you're never born, it's Logan that takes the contract on the mutie doctor who discovers the cure for the Legacy Virus. Oh, the cure's already out, but a little revenge for spoiling the fun of all that mutie genocide is still worth a lot of money to some people. If you're never born, Logan takes the contract and snuffs him here, in the forest. He takes Hank's money, and whatever else is useful to him, then he leaves the body for the animals." "You son of a bitch!" "It doesn't turn out any different if you off yourself now. Hank's just as dead." Jack strode over to her, and knelt beside her, but his tone didn't soften. "He risked his life to save yours today, and a lotta years down the road, you return the favor. If you're not there to save him from his assassin, well, he winds up right back in this same spot." "Fuck you," Rogue spat out. "He's in love with you, you know. He loves you every bit as much as Logan does. If you don't love him back, it breaks his heart, but he always cherishes your friendship, and one day he learns to love someone else. If you do love him back, he's the damn happiest mutant on earth. But if you're not around, Marie, he's just a dead mutant. That's it. That's all." "He - he doesn't love me. And Logan - he wants Jean, he doesn't love me, he - " "Why do you think they risk their lives to keep you safe, Marie?" "Because they're good men," she answered defiantly. "Well, OK, you've got me there as far as Hank is concerned. But if you think for a second that Logan would stick his neck out for someone he didn't love, you're outta your mind." "Jean - " "He'd have fucked Jean a long time ago and been long since done with her if not for you. Hell, he'd have done Jean and Storm and anyone else he could get into his bed - Jubilee and Kitty too. Don't you get it? He wants you. You're all he wants, you're all he thinks about. What's it gonna take for you to get that through your head, Marie?" Jack heaved a sigh, and lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the ground. "I dunno. Maybe I'm fucking this all up. Maybe I went about this all wrong." He ran a hand through his short hair, then rubbed at the back of his neck. "Nothing fucking simple in the afterlife." "You know, you swear a lot for an angel," Marie said before slumping down to sit on the ground with him. "It's not a sin." "It's not?" "Nah. That's just propaganda." Marie let out a short, clipped laugh at that. "You wanna go see Bobby now?" "What is he - dead? Suicidal?" "The first one. If you stick around, he's going to make it. He freezes the arm back on, you know." Jack scooted over a little closer to Marie and put his arm around her. "He loves you too." "Everybody loves Marie." She said it wryly, but she leaned into Jack's body as the words came out. "Pretty much." "Isn't there one person who's life is better without me in it? Isn't there anyone who benefits from me being gone?" She looked up at Jack's face, which was working itself into a smile. "There is, isn't there? There is someone who's better off without me!" "You wanna see her?" Jack's smile was full now, and he arched an eyebrow at her. "Yes. Yes, I do. I want to see her. I want to see her right now." "Can do," Jack said, and the forest dissolved around them, replaced by a very well-appointed bedroom. Both Jack and Marie were sitting on the bed, and there was someone humming in the bathroom. "Where are we this time?" Before Jack could answer, Jean emerged from the bathroom, still brushing her hair and humming. Marie chuckled a little. "You know, she's never really liked me." "Nope," Jack agreed. "But you can't win 'em all. Without you, she remains the center of attention, Xavier's little princess, Scott's adored and beloved wife, the Queen of the Mansion." Marie laughed outright at that. "But there's a downside. She actually does, you know, grow as a person and everything from having to deal with her animosity toward you. If you're not around, she doesn't." Marie only laughed more. Jean kept right on brushing her hair and humming. "Come on, let's get out of here. The woman's tone deaf for Christsakes. She's gonna break that mirror one of these days." "Wait." Marie laid her hand on Jack's arm before the bedroom could disappear. "Go back to Hank. I want to - I want to see him again." "Are you sure?" Marie nodded, and once again, they were sitting on the frozen ground in front of Hank's still form. Jack watched as Marie slowly rose, then kissed Hank on the forehead, just once. She whispered some words to him that Jack chose not to try to overhear, then returned to Jack, who stood to meet her. "So what's the deal? You ready to go back now?" "Not yet," Marie answered, stepping a little closer to Jack. "I need to know something from you first." Jack nodded. "You said you saw good in the world because of me. Why? Why did they assign you to me? What was it about me that you liked?" Jack paused for a moment, considering whether he should give her a straight answer. If he did, the boss would most likely be very pissed, and he could kiss getting those wings and getting into heaven goodbye. If he didn't, well, he just didn't like the idea of not being straight with Marie. It was one of those 'damned if you do and damned if you don't' things, and Jack hated those. "There are a lot of worlds, a lot of universes, Marie. You and I - in one of them I killed you. I didn't really give a shit about it at the time. It was just a job. But there was something about your eyes, the way you looked at me when I did it - it stayed with me until the day that I died. You haunted me. When I got to the pearly gates, they told me I couldn't go in. Uh-uh, no way. I asked if it was because of you, because of the girl with the big brown eyes. I mean, I'd killed a lotta people, but most of them deserved getting killed, in spades. You were the exception, so I figured it hadta be because of you. They told me yes, that's why. I was all ready to turn my ass around and head in the southerly direction, if you know what I mean, because I frankly couldn't really argue with that. I knew what I did there was wrong, really wrong. But they said hang on, wait a second, there's a way to atone for what you did. They said if I could save your life in this universe, then I'd be good to go, I'd get to be in heaven." Marie digested his words for a moment. "That's the mercy of God. That doesn't have anything to do with me, not really." "It's not God. There is justice in the afterlife, at least some, you know. The only way I got the second chance was because you offered it. You told them you'd forgive me if I could do better the second time around. For someone who cut your throat and watched you bleed to death, I think that's pretty damn generous. I think that's pretty damn good." Marie's face contorted in confusion. "There's a lotta good in you, Marie, so much good. The world needs more people like you, not more assholes like me. There's not a person in your life that doesn't benefit from having you around. You've got three men who love the hell outta you. You've got good friends. You've got a lot, Marie, a lot more than most people get. Don't piss all that away because things got rough. Don't give up." Marie thought it over for a moment, then nodded, tears filling her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for saving me. Thank you for doing better this time around." She hugged herself to him, squeezing tightly. He let himself bask in the feel of her for a few moments, stroking her hair a little before parting from her. "Hang in there. I'll be around if you need me." "Wait - Jack - would you - would you let me know you got in OK? You know, send me some kind of sign or something?" "Sure. Sure." "Well what - what will it be?" Jack's eyes softened, and a smirk played across his lips. "You'll know it when you see it. Take care, Marie." "You too." Before the words had finished echoing in the stillness of the forest, she was back at the bridge, gazing down into the dark water, snow swirling all around her. She looked around for Jack, but he was nowhere to be seen. She let out a joyful laugh, then began running back in the direction she'd come. She headed straight for the medlab, resolving to see the three men injured in her defense no matter what Jean had to say. As luck would have it, Jean wasn't there to give her any trouble - she'd left Ororo to watch over her patients while she got a few hours sleep. Rogue - covered in snow, half- frozen, and grinning like a maniac - scared Storm at first, but quickly persuaded her to let her see her friends. She went first to Bobby, then to Hank, whispering gentle words of thanks and affection to both as they lay sleeping in their cots. Finally, she made her way to Logan, who lay in the critical care unit. There were lots of wires and monitors attached to him, but Marie could tell he was faring well. His color was good, and the sense of smell she'd inherited from him could detect no hint of sickness or death lingering over him. She settled in beside him, holding his hand, rubbing his knuckles. When he finally woke, the first thing he saw was her. "Marie...." "Right here, sugar." She smiled at him warmly. "God, I thought you were gonna die." He winced at his remembered terror, and shook his head a little, trying to come fully back to consciousness and leave his fears behind. "You saved me. You saved my life." "Whew." He squeezed the hand holding his tightly. "I thought I'd lost ya. I thought I'd lost ya." "You didn't. I'm here. I'm right here. Logan - " Marie leaned down a little closer to him, to be sure he could see her. " - I thought I lost you too. I was - I was terrified. I can't lose you, Logan, I can't. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." "Marie, don't worry 'bout me, I - " "Listen to me. I do worry about you. I do. Because I love you. I love you." Tears crept into her voice and she felt them filling her eyes as well. "You know that, don't you? I mean - I want to make sure you know that." "I know," Logan answered softly. "Are you OK? Did everythin' heal up OK?" Marie nodded and let the tears fall. "Oh, darlin', c'mere." Logan sat up a little and scooted over to make room for her on the bed. She carefully lay her head on his bare shoulder, using her hair to provide a barrier between them. "I gotcha Marie, I gotcha. I'm never gonna let you get hurt, kid. I'm always gonna take care of you. You're - you're mine and I'm gonna take care of ya." Marie could feel and hear his heart beating faster all of a sudden, and it dawned on her that he was nervous. He was nervous telling her that she was his, even after she'd told him she loved him. She squeezed him tightly. "I know. I know. I'll always be yours. I'll always stick with you. I'm - I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be yours. Always." She hoped those words were enough to reassure him. They were certainly enough to seal her resolve - she would never again voluntarily leave the people she loved, never. "So, do I get in or what?" The angel-to-be rather impatiently asked the gate keeper. "You did break some of the rules. We said no touching." The angel's eyes turned down and he shuffled his feet a little. "She needed a hug." "Ah." The gatekeeper flipped a few pages in his very large book back and forth. "May I ask a few questions?" Upon receiving a gruff nod, the gatekeeper continued. "Why that appearance? You could've chosen any form you liked." "Nothin' pretty 'bout me. Plus, I knew she wouldn't recognize me. That was one of the rules, right? I couldn't say who I really was." "You skated rather close to that one, my friend, explaining your past as you did." That only got a shrug. "Why 'Jack'?" "Was the name of a bartender I knew once. First thing that came to me." "Hmmm," the gatekeeper mused. "Why *did* you tell her about your past with her? You could've refused to explain." "She deserved to know the truth." The angel-to-be fidgeted a little. "Look, do I get in now or not?" "What I really find most remarkable was that you told her about Hank's feelings. Do you not think she may choose him?" "Up to her." The angel-to-be raised an even gaze to meet the gatekeeper's eyes. "You don't care much for your counterpart in her world, do you?" "He's a damn lucky bastard." "What do you mean?" "He got a chance to know her first. He has a chance to be with her now." "You could've - " "Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, do you have a lotta other questions?" The gatekeeper sighed and took pity on the angel-to-be. "No. You have done well, my son. You may enter." "Can I see her?" "It is her heaven too, Logan," the gatekeeper instructed gently. "She may have been generous enough to grant you a second chance at eternal salvation, but she may not want to spend hers with her murderer." The gatekeeper pursed his lips, and tried to think of something more comforting to say. "It will be up to her to decide. If she wishes to see you, she will find you." Logan nodded, then entered, passing through the gates at last. Back in Westchester, Jean was in the midst of her nightly ritual - flossing each tooth, applying her night cream, and, most importantly, brushing her hair with a hundred strokes of her hairbrush to maintain her spectacularly shiny red mane. Scott was just outside the door, in the hall, trying to talk some sense into Logan or Rogue or both. They'd decided to move in together, and of all the absurd things they'd each done since Jean had known them, this was by far the worst. Scott interrupted them when he caught them moving Rogue's things into Logan's room, but Jean doubted that he would be able to get through to them. She would have to try talking some sense into them herself, she thought as she began brushing her hair. After a few moments, as she became lost in thought, her usual nighttime humming filled the air. However, unlike her typical nighttime pattern, her humming lasted only a few moments before it was drowned out by the unbelievably loud *crash* of her mirror suddenly and inexplicably breaking. For a long time after that, she would wonder why that sound had been followed by Rogue's pealing laughter in the hall. "Hey." "Uh. Hey. Did - did you come to see me?" "Mmm-hmmm." "I - I'd kinda given up on that. I mean, I came in a long time ago. Not - not that I'm complainin', I - I just thought you weren't gonna come." "You did a nice thing for me, the other me." "They're doin' OK, huh?" "They're getting married. She really loves him." "It's different. He never - he's always protected her, he never hurt her. I wish I hadn't hurt ya, you know? If I could take it back......" "I know." "I think about how scared you musta been, how much it probably hurt, how surprised you looked and how sad. I'm - I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." "I know." "Is - is there anythin' I can do for you now? I mean, I know it's heaven and everythin's good, everythin's pretty much taken care of, but is there anythin' I can give you, anythin' you want me to do or say?" "No, not really." "Oh." "I thought maybe we could just, you know, sit together for a while." "OK. OK." "You're kind of staring at me." "Sorry. It's just - you're really beautiful. Even more than I remembered." "Oh. Thanks." "You didn't hafta give me another chance. Did I - did I say thank you for that?" "Not really, but it's OK. I just thought that you were the kind of person that might, you know, not be all bad even if you did some bad things. That's - that's probably why I looked surprised, you know, when you did it. I didn't really know you at all, but you seemed like a pretty good person to me." "I'm sorry I wasn't. And I do wanna say thank you for the second chance. It's a big thing. I woulda deserved to go straight to hell." "I'm glad it worked out." "Do you think it'll work out for them? You don't think he'll mess it all up, do you?" "I don't think so. I was a little worried she would mess it up there for a while, but you fixed that. I guess we'll just have to keep an eye on them." "Yeah. Marie?" "Yes?" "I'm really so, so sorry." "I know, sugar. Don't worry about it anymore. It's all over with now. Everything's going to be OK." "Will you stick around for a while? Just - just a little while?" "Sure. Would you like to put your head on my shoulder for a little bit? You kind of look like you could use some comfort." "Oh, Marie........" "It's OK. I think - I think we're supposed to be together, you know? I guess sometimes it just takes a little longer and we have to go through a little more." "You mean like life and death, heaven and hell?" "Yeah. I guess that's kind of a lot, when you think about it." "Yeah. Marie, stay here a little while, OK? Stay with me for a while." "Sure thing, sugar. Sure thing."