I don't own any of them. Poo.
WRFA, Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut anyone else,
and I'll happily provide :)
Please? With a first round win for Chicago
Good, bad, and ugly welcome.
Eavesdropping runs rampant at the mansion,
Hockey to explain his feelings for Rogue,
Mix-A-Lot's ode to the female posterior makes
This is a pretty wacky one, and not to be
I've been in Minnesota for work most
week, which is usually tiring, but this
week I've got the triple-whammy of working
on the road,
a crisis with a close friend (which may
her kids will be coming to stay with me for
and the general panic, rush of activity, and
commitment and massive debt that comes along
closing on my house next week. Yes, there's
like borrowing massive amounts of $$ to test
;) Anyhow, I was watching
late last night and saw the Sir Mix A Lot
referred to in this fic, and it just struck me
was so far beyond exhausted that I had to
something extremely wacky or horribly angsty
Since I might be in for more than enough
with my friend, I went with wacky for my fic
have you got planned for tonight? Logan?"
She's talkin' to me. Stop starin' at the
stop thinkin' bout those big, full lips all
readjust pants. "Nothin'. Or, uh, hockey.
I'll be doin' hockey tonight." Why is it
that I always
turn into a jibberin' idiot in fronta
like as soon as I catch her scent, my
brain shuts down.
watching, not playing, right?" God, that
do all kindsa wicked things. "Logan?" Oh,
talkin' to me again. Dammit, gotta pay
to that. "Are you OK? You seem you
of distracted tonight."
fine, kid. No worries." 'Course, I'd be a
if you'd just come over here and
sure? Are you are you upset about the
or something? You can talk to me about it,
I won't freak out."
Jean, the wedding. The event you dressed
but brooded all through nonetheless."
I still gotta get Scooter back for that
puttin' Marie with Remy in the weddin' party.
that'd get my goat. "I mean uh, no. No. I
'bout the weddin'." I ain't upset, I'm
kill Scooter, that's all. Nope, not a bit
there's there's lots of other fish in the
Water. Wet. Marie wet. Marie, maybe
shower, all nice and naked, all that pale
covered in lather "Jean's not the only
the mansion, you know."
I did notice that, darlin'. Marie plus
pants equals 'hell yeah, I definitely noticed
why does she hafta always look so good in
And why does she wear those pants so often?
like, you know, date any of the available
of the single, attractive, nice women.
Any of those
would do." But none of 'em wear leather
do baby. None of 'em have your hot, sexy
your big brown eyes or your nice, round, full
any cow wouldn't mind givin' up its hide to
privilege of encasin'. None of 'em have your
pout, your fire. None of 'em move me like
"Do you, um, have any ideas in particular?"
she's talkin' to me again. Focus, Logan.
Well, I got one or two." You, laid out on my
a stitch, not even those leather pants;
when I tickle ya; you, eatin' offa my
me all over as you go; you, smilin' up
at me; you,
waddlin' along, pregnant with my babies;
love with me. "Actually, I got a lotta
that was wrong somehow 'cause her scent
And she's gettin' that shy look, the one
me simultaneously wanna hug her and screw
daylights outta her. And she's not lookin'
at me anymore.
"Did I say
I guess I was just never mind. I've got
being so uh, never mind." I hate it when
this, when she hides things. She don't do it
often, but when she does, I just hate it.
can tell I said somethin' wrong, just tell me
I don't care if it is, just tell me
go nuts here.
I was kind of hinting that you know, you might
pick one woman, someone in particular, but if
to play the field.."
followin' ya." Unless we're talkin' 'bout
I ain't interested in playin' on it.
you had lots of ideas. Lots of women.
the field. It's OK, really, I don't know why
I mean, I'm not in charge of your love
can do whatever you want. Forget I said
Just just forget all about it, OK? You
to watch hockey, right? The game should be
now. I won't keep you."
her by the arm kinda kills two birds
stone I gotta stop her before she runs off
wrong idea and I gotta touch her somewhere,
"I didn't mean it that way. I got someone
One person in particular. I got a lot of
what I'd like to do with her. I just I
she could really, you know, fall in love with
me. I ain't
sure that I'm what she needs, that I'm
you are." Oh my God, look at her. Right
moment right now she's the most beautiful
seen her. Look at how she's lookin' at me.
they'd fall in love with you, how could
Whoa. I think she caught herself a
caught that things were gettin' intense.
a hint of a smile on those luscious lips now.
you're pretty amazing. And women are smart.
any one of them will figure that out pretty
Whoever you're thinking of she'll just
a puddle at your feet, sugar. I can't think
who wouldn't see how amazing you are. Now,
don't let me make you late for the game."
watch with me."
I think I should just head upstairs. I've
painting to do. You go on." Dammit, there
Slid right outta my grip and she's gone.
she don't have a clue, does she? How can
know? I mean, I've never been accused of
or delicate 'bout these things.
see the looks, the really long, lingerin'
parts of her body that nobody but me had
even glance at? Don't she remember all
I laid down my life for her? Don't she
what it means that I'm always with her,
her? Damn. I gotta figure somethin'
Betsy. I caught Mr. Summers checking her
she seems like Logan's type too. She wears
I don't "
maybe it's still Jean but he's trying to
ways to steal her out from under Mr.
him that, Jubes."
he's *boring*. Ultra boring. Super boring.
concentrate. He's bo-ring. Boring with a
'b'. Boring with a snooze cherry on top.
a double dose of Sominex. Boring with "
"I get it,
I get it. Can we just talk about something
next potential bone-ee is the most
really got to learn not to eavesdrop in the
no way. You hear all the best gossip there."
at least not eavesdrop on me when I'm
to someone in the kitchen?"
who it is!"
to be Ms. Frost. Think about it she's
she has a good body, and she always wears
and thigh-high boots."
lose heart, Roguey, I don't think it's the
She's definitely a top and I can't see Logan
I love ya, but you've gotta get out more.
surf the net for porn or something."
do you really think it's Emma?"
"No, I really
think it's you. Which is what I told
you in the
first place, but you totally shot me down.
not you, I don't really know who it is."
are you sure it's *not* you? I mean, are you
I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking
on my part."
the fact that his eyes have been glued to
were! I swear to God, you've got a Logan
magnet implanted in there. Baby's got back!"
don't want none unless you got buns,
Look, I say you go down there and park
next to Mr. Sex Machine. Park yourself next
to him and
just see what happens. Is there any way
don't strain yourself trying to figure that
He looks at your boobs too. Just unbutton a
buttons, and you're golden."
want him to get with me because of the boobs.
Or the ass.
I want him to I want him to, you know,
got that covered. Trust us. He risked his
you, repeatedly. He loves you. You just
make him see that you're, you know, a mature
and sexually desirable woman. And not a
believe those are your issues, Kit."
of them apply to you and Mr. Tall, Dark,
I'm with Jubes. I say go watch hockey
and see if he makes a move. If he doesn't,
who he's got in mind for his next meaningless
not fair he doesn't he hasn't as
far as we
know he hasn't had any affairs of any kind."
means he's totally ready for one with you."
one. A nice, sweet, caring, meaningful,
closing, to sum up go watch hockey. It
hurt and it might get you some hot monkey
little firecracker ain't the only one who
to eavesdrop. Better get my ass back down
to the den.
far, so good. She's sittin' beside me,
the terrible twosome told her to. And she
Heh. Well, I'm just gonna get right to
I'll start off subtle. "Glad you came
The way she said that, all surprised she
a clue, she really don't. Well, that's OK.
got two periods and maybe overtime to let her
in on how
things really are.
And here comes clue number one. Just gonna
put my arm
around her and snuggle her sweet,
butt next to mine. "Get comfy. It's
God, she smells good. And she's all warm,
and did I mention good-smellin'? "Who's
a little trouble with the talkin' brain,
If I knew all I needed to do to put us on
there was to put my arm around ya, I
it a helluva long time ago. "Scoreless.
But it won't
be that way for long. We're in for some
that's for sure." Clue two, darlin'.
know the Blackhawks made the playoffs this
haven't been in for a while."
been a helluva long time. But I got a
that draught's about over." Clue three.
they've got a real chance. They're strong,
defend their own zone like hell and
totally committed. They want it bad, real
Louis hell, they're the perennial playoff
losers. All they got is good looks, a
and a stupid fake French accent."
accent? Do they have a lot of French Canadian
or something?" OK, she's not catchin' on to
Chicago; Remy, St. Louis' hockey allegory.
too subtle there or somethin'.
But what I'm tryin' to say is Chicago,
blood and guts team. Not afraid to sacrifice
to get the job done, not afraid to do the
or muck it up in the corners to make
protect the puck. St. Louis now, they're
no meat. Yeah, they might look good on the
they got no heart. When the shit hits the
not up to it."
still too subtle, or somethin'. "You
always thought they had some good players.
always liked Al McInnis. I mean, you have to
a slap shot like that."
ya don't, Marie. Ya don't respect 'em, ya
'em, and you sure as hell shouldn't be
near them in a strapless gown." I bet that
think I caught how he was lookin' at
bare shoulders. I caught it. I caught it and
be physically restrained by Jeannie's powers
a claw to his ass when I did. 'Don't ruin
Logan.' 'Remy's just looking, Logan.'
Shoulda clawed him. Those shoulders are
when they're naked. Mine.
I miss something?"
uh, strapless gowns have to do with hockey?"
not catchin' on at all. She must think
They don't have nothin' to do with hockey."
but you said that I "
meant to say is that any parts of you naked
closest to me, not Remy."
the one I've been havin' ideas 'bout, Marie,
not just because of your boobs or ass or
like that. But, uh, don't go gettin' an
or somethin' anytime soon, OK?"
Logan, I "
to be subtle with the hockey thing. But it
Look, you were right. I was upset at
I was upset at the weddin', but it was
you spendin' the whole time with Remy. I
at the weddin', 'cause you looked so damn
I started to think that you were way too
too good for someone like me. I was upset
at the weddin',
Marie, 'cause it wasn't our weddin',
weren't even together there. You're the one
be with, the one I wanna have fall in love
Got it?" Oh-oh. She's not sayin' anythin'.
that stuff she said before about me bein'
was just to make me feel better or somethin'.
just meant to cheer me up and
"Oh my God,
you were listening outside my door,
Might as well fess up. "Yeah. You left all
I could tell you didn't get what I was
say, that it was you I wanted."
I smelled you."
ah, smell me?"
I've still got enough of your senses for
Other people I can't really smell
up close, but you." Holy hell, that
to me. Knowin' she can track my scent
keep it together, Logan. Think of somethin'
say. Use the brain. Readjust pants.
did it 'cause I wanted to know what you were
and I'm not sorry I did 'cause it's about
time I toldya.
If what you said before about women
and fallin' for me applies to you, then,
I mean really? You really want to date?"
she gettin' so freaked about? Oh.
mean no datin'. I'm not good at that and
like movies and dinners. Well, I do like
but not in some pansy-ass restaurant where
you a list with wines you can't pronounce on
someplace where they give you a beer list,
raw steak. We could go there. But I don't
cut out for datin' generally. Plus, you
it's kinda this experiment, to see if
wanna be with this one or that one. Me, I
my gut would tell me right off, and it
way with you." OK, sayin' somethin' would be
Marie. Somethin'. Anythin'. Anythin' at
don't want to date me because because
you want to to be with me."
What is it with the 'really's? Wait maybe
date 'cause she ain't too damn sure.
probably it. She probably needsta take
and make sure she wantsta hook herself up
Sure, I'm the guy who saved her life and
that don't necessarily make me
want to move in together or something then?
is that what you were thinking?" Me and
together. Same room, same bed, same
the whole place would smell like her pretty
scratch that, it would smell like us, like
daydreamin'. Start listenin' to Marie.
back. Make mental note to get looser
good. Uh, that'd be good." Yep, the
brain has left the buildin'.
smile on those big lips right now. Real
um, are you really rooting for Chicago
movin' in that's that's what you wanna do,
you're sayin' 'OK' to?" I gotta make sure
get too excited here.
I couldn't think of a hockey analogy to
I just went with 'OK.'" Tease. Flirt.
Jubes was right, you do 'got back.' I can't
it, it's right there, in leather yet."
the rest of that song? Yeah that thing
leather pants, do you?" Definitely
I'd like you without 'em much better." Big
But whoa. Gotta remember that she's
young, pretty inexperienced. Gotta
not to push her too much or take things too
stop lookin' at the blush. "But we can
time. Once you move in, we can figure out
uh, playin' time we wanna start out with and
wanna make a move on goal, you let me know."
I'm catching on to this hockey thing."
Well, that's a good start. We're off
to a damn
good start, actually. "Glad you like it,
Plenty more of playoff season ahead, you
plenty of time to get things goin' with