Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

Comments: This is probably not really a rule. But it sure was a common saying among my family members whenever something pretty bad would happen. Uncle Ron got arrested? Nothing Good Can Come of This. Mom had a breakdown? Nothing Good Can Come of This. What? You're getting a divorce? Nothing-well, you get the picture. But sometimes good things can come out of bad, or at least I think so. Plus, I had to let them have some smut time before throwing them back on the action roller coaster :)

Things are finally getting back on track. This feels right-me sitting in the Jeep, Logan driving. Of course, it's a different Jeep. This one is green and the old one was red. This one is a year older, and has tinted windows, but doesn't have power brakes, power locks, or power windows like the last one did. This one has less mileage, though, and I think it's in good shape. We both decided that we wanted another Jeep-Logan knew the car and felt comfortable driving one, and it had been working out really well for us before. There's enough space to sleep in the back and it's got four wheel drive, but it's not as expensive as some of the other SUVs we looked at. I think for both of us, it's an emotional thing too-buying the Jeep was getting at least a little part of our life back after what happened. And we got a heck of a deal on it - $8,000, even. Having a big, cranky, muscular guy sitting next to you definitely makes the used-car negotiations easier.

We bought most of the necessities before leaving Westchester-food, a lot of secondhand clothing, secondhand boots for both of us, some blankets from a thrift store, enough art supplies to finish off the paintings I owe and do two more, odds and ends like a hair brush and toothbrush, razors, and, of course, condoms and tights. We went a little crazy there-spent almost a hundred dollars on those alone-but I think it was the most important thing to both of us. And last night-the first night we were together like that-it was absolutely the most intense experience of my life so far.

The way he was with me-I was kind of expecting him to be gentle, or careful, like he had been when we were touching before. But he was *very* passionate, almost animalistic. He let the claws out in the middle of the whole thing and when I touched them-that just sent him to a whole other level of primal behavior. The whole Jeep was bouncing and he was growling and I was moaning-I'm surprised we didn't wake the entire county. And when we were done, I felt thoroughly *done*, you know? Spent, just nothing left, and I felt like I was completely *his*. I think it's the first time we've been together that I felt like we weren't on equal footing-not in a bad way, but I definitely was feeling like he was the man in charge, like *he* was making love to *me*.

After we were finished, he just rolled me into his arms and put me on his chest. He was holding me pretty tightly - but not in a I'm-scared-something's-going-to-happen-to-you way. More of a I-really-want-you-to-feel-that-I'm-here-for-you kind of way. I just broke down in tears right then, bawling like a baby. It was the first time I felt like I could take a breath, like we were reasonably OK and that I was safe and taken care of. It was so touching to have that-somebody there to comfort me, take care of me, help carry me through the rough times. I've never had it before. I tried to explain all that to him so that he wouldn't freak out or think he did something wrong because I was crying, but it took a little while to get the words to actually come out coherently. I think he understood, though. He didn't say much but he kept repeating that he was going to protect me and keep me safe, that he was going to make sure I felt OK and wasn't sad or scared any more. And amazingly enough, I actually believe it. The part of him in my head is so sure of that, it's almost like his mission in life or something.

In fact, I think this whole thing-as awful as it was to have to go through-has given him a lot more confidence, in a weird way. He saved me from those psycho doctors, he saved my life when he touched me, and he made sure the x-men didn't pull any hanky-panky while we were there. I think all that has made him feel a lot more sure of himself, a lot more secure in himself. Almost like that's part of his identity now, part of the personality he's building for himself-he's Logan, and he saved me, and he's going to keep on taking care of me. He can do all that and he feels good about it.

"Sure." We've got about another half hour to Calais. Remy FedExed a package to us at the Westchester Western Union that had the basics-proof of (probably non-existent) auto insurance so we could buy the car, driver's licenses, cell phone, whatnot. We needed a few more things that were going to take a little time, though, so I told Remy to send me another package-passports, birth certificates, some counterfeit plates and whatever else he thought might be useful-addressed 'general delivery' to the post office in Calais. At first, I wanted to run straight for New Orleans and Remy. But I couldn't convince Logan to do it-I don't think he was quite ready to meet Remy and he definitely wasn't in the mood for dealing with a lot of people, which there always are around Remy-so we headed east for a change, crossing New England and following Route 1 up into Maine. It's been beautiful so far-they're not kidding with that state motto of 'Maine-The Way Life Should Be'-but I'll be glad to cross the border into Canada again. The bad guys nabbed us in the U.S. and I just feel safer up north for some reason.

"This way? I saw a place over there, I think." He always has a hand on me somewhere now, even in the car, even when he's driving, even if it's just a light touch on my leg like it is now. To tell the truth, I like it. I like it a lot.

"Looks good." We've been trying not to eat out too much, but we haven't had a meal, a real meal for more than 24 hours now. We can get breakfast-these kind of little diners usually serve breakfast all day long. That shouldn't be too expensive.

"You stay real close to me once we get outta the car, OK?" That's the new rule-I don't go anywhere where I'm out of his sight and preferably not out of arm's reach. Not to the ladies' room, not to pump gas, not to do anything. Sounds kind of over-reactionary, I know, but I'm not in a hurry to get another chunk of my skin hacked off. It made enough of an impression the first time.

"Come here." I just want a quick hug before we get out of the Jeep. I get a little emotional and the moods start swinging if I think about the skin-hacking thing, even a little bit. And he's been really willing to let me get a hug or anything I ask for whenever I need it.

"I gotcha. You're OK. Nothin' bad's gonna happen, darlin'." I really do love it when he calls me that. Corny, isn't it? "We're gonna go in, and have some hot food, and it's all gonna be OK. If somethin' does happen, I'm right here and I'm gonna take care of it."

She still ain't eatin' enough. I gotta figure how to get her to eat more food while we're here. Her body's still tryin' to heal itself up, and she needs some good, solid food in her. Pretzels and Doritos and peanut butter sandwiches ain't gonna fix her leg. "Why dontcha have some of my pancakes, huh?" I can get away with eatin' that junk food shit-ain't gonna make a difference to me, not with the healin' thing.

"It's OK, you can finish them. I think I'm full." She said her stomach shrunk from not eatin' for a while, but I think she's just worried 'bout the money. You know, she don't wanna spend what we got left too fast and plus, she wantsta make sure I eat enough, probably since I'm the one who's kinda doin' most of the drivin' and lookin' out for us right now. She's real good at that-figurin' out how to make what little we got work out best for both of us. I noticed that right away. But I gotta make sure she's OK too.

"Come on, eat a little more, OK? You needta get your strength back up." She's favorin' that leg, still, a lot. Wish she woulda just hung on to me a little longer. I wish she'd agree to let me touch her now. But I kinda understand why not too-what if somethin' bad happens while I'm out? How would I protect her then?

"Just a few bites." There we go. Little smile, soft eyes. That's better. "Where do you want to go after we cross over? Have you had a chance to look at the map?" Shit, that reminds me-I haven't told her I don't remember how to read. I kinda don't wanna dump that on her right now.

"I was thinking someplace we could camp out in the Jeep for a while-someplace kind of remote, where we could stay a week or so without being noticed too much." There she goes, she's eatin' up now. When she gets to talkin' she don't pay as much attention, she just eats. Gotta keep her talkin' until those pancakes are gone.

"We're OK for now if we're careful, and if no major expense kind of creeps up and surprises us. We've got about a thousand left, and we'll get a little more as I send in the paintings and they sell. The advance Remy gave should be about 75% of what I usually get per painting, so that's maybe another thousand to fifteen hundred there. I thought maybe a week or so camping out, then into a little town to get a motel for a night, then another week or so out to finish up the paintings I owe. After that-OK, Logan? You can find a way to get money for us after that, but I need a little time to settle, and I want to have you nearby." I'm glad she's thinkin' like that-I ain't goin' anywhere far, no way. I'm glad she's thinkin' the same as me and I'm glad she tells me too, so I know for sure. Then again, she's always been good at just comin' out and tellin' me stuff.

"OK. That's the plan, then. And I dunno after that-I mean, I don't think I should go back to workin' like I did in Minnesota. I'd be too nervous leavin' ya all day. I'm gonna hafta think of somethin' else." Almost finished with the pancakes. Just a little more. "Can I tell ya somethin'?"

"You look real good right now." Big smile. Yeah, she likes for me to tell her stuff like that. "I'm eatin' afternoon breakfast with the best lookin' woman in the whole damn place." I'm gettin' better at figurin' out what she needs, what she likes.

"You're making me blush." True, but she's also gettin' that look in her eye like she wantsta do it. We might hafta find a place to pull the Jeep over for a while. I've gotta try to do it nicer than I did with her that first time. I dunno exactly what happened there, but I kinda lost control altogether. Just went a little crazy with wantin' her, with havin' to show her how things are-she's mine, and I'm gonna take care of everythin' she needs just like she takes care of everythin' I need. Just like she always has even before we started doin' it. You know, there are some things we decided-like it's gonna be her and me and nobody else, and makin' the plan, and stickin' together no matter what-but there's some things that just *are*. And one of those things is that she's mine and I'm hers. It's deeper than stickin' together or decidin' to be together. It's a fact, it's how life is, and it'd be that way no matter what we decided. I think that was part of it-I got lost thinkin' about all of the stuff that just *is* and I wanted to show her that so bad. "Hey, can we, um, you know, before we go to Calais? I mean, there's no rush to get there."

I think we're far enough off the beaten path-there's been no traffic passing us for a while, and we pulled off the road behind some trees. It's broad daylight, but I don't think anyone will be able to see us from the road even if they do pass by.

"Yeah." Tights-check. So glad they cover the ugly leg scar. Condoms handy-check. Topless-check. The bruises on my ribs from where I was tied down are almost gone-they're in the yukky yellow-green stage right now, but I don't think Logan will notice them too much. The boobs provide an excellent distraction for him. Let's seeScarf-check. Gloves-check. Houston, we are ready for sex lift-off.

"You know, we've been kinda just doin' it-is there anythin' special you'd like to do?" Hmmm. Now there's a good question. We have been just getting right to it and we haven't really taken the time to explore each other in a while, even before all this stuff happened.

"Mmm-hmmm." It's like having a whole smorgasbord laid out in front of you. Where to start? I've got it-his face. He's got a lot of facial hair, and strong features, but I always think of his face as just beautiful. "I like the way you feel."

On to his neck-strong, thick, with lots of veins and muscles. I remember his neck twisting when I was trying to warn him about the guy hiding in the lab waiting to shoot him. Isn't that weird, how you focus on something so small? All of that going on around us both, and what I remember most is how his neck looked as it turned.

Shoulders-his shoulders are next and his collarbones. Broad shoulders, strong shoulders. I've seen a lot of them lately. I've spent a lot of time with my head tucked into his body, resting on his shoulder. Him wrapping those big arms around me and squeezing me tight. His shoulders aren't bony at all-you can't feel anything but firm muscle.

Chest. Definitely a favorite. He's got just the most perfect chest known to man. And it's something I've seen almost as much of lately as his shoulders. Waking up in that lodge with my head snuggled down into his chest, feeling so safe, so warm, like nothing bad could get me at that moment, even if we were still just a few hundred yards away from the x-men. That first night we slept together in the old Jeep-my arms trying to wrap around that chest and hold him to me so no nightmares could get him, so he could rest. I wonder if I loved him even then. "Darlin'?"

"It's OK." What's next? Stomach. Flat, hard, ridged with muscles. He likes it when I rub his stomach after sex or during the night when he's not quite sleeping. It's hairy, very hairy, and I always thought body hair on a man would be a turn off for me, especially after Sabretooth-no, no, don't think about that.

"No, no. I just-I was just thinking that you're so different from everyone I've known before, from everyone else in my life. I'm really grateful for that." He's been in a position to hurt me-and not just physically-and he never has given me even a second of doubt about him ever doing that. I've never known that kind of security in my life before. I never would have, if I hadn't met him.

Next are his hips. Powerful muscles there, I know from experience. He never gets tired when we're making love. Strong thrusts in and out of me, deep inside me, over and over. And his, uh, privates. I know, I know. I shouldn't blush like a schoolgirl. I should be able to use the technical words like 'penis' and 'testicles' in my own brain, at least. But that's kind of how I really think of those parts-Logan's and private. Just for him and me. And I've seen those parts before, on Sabretooth, on other men in pictures, and I've always thought they were funny-looking, kind of silly little appendages. But not Logan's. The word silly has never entered my mind. Words like beautiful, smooth, thick, powerful, masculine-yes. When I stroke him, I like the weight of him in my hands and when he's inside me, he fills me up completely. Satisfying. That's another word that comes into my head when I look at him. Satisfying.

His legs-they don't get enough attention from me probably, but they're spectacular in their own right. Bunched, compact muscles. I remember looking at his legs when he carried me out of the room in that lab. I remember thinking-those legs can carry us out of here, we're going to be OK.

"Marie.can I touch you more? I wanna." He's so childlike in some ways. He just asks for whatever he wants sexually. He just tells me what he's thinking. That kind of openness is really rare, I know. And I know it's only with me that he does it.

"Uh-huh." I'm so glad - *so* glad-that we've only ever been with each other. It makes it really special. I hope it's only ever him. "Just relax, darlin'. I gotcha. I'm gonna take care of you." I know he means that more than sexually. But right now, I'm pretty focused on that particular meaning. He always does take care of me that way. I know I'm lucky to have that too.

"Mmm" He's always liked kissing me, which I find just amazing. We have to do it with the scarf, we have to be really careful when he's all naked like this, we have to use the sheet to protect his torso, but he still seems to really love it. Little nips at my lips and licks on the inside of my mouth with his tongue-they all make me feel loved, really loved, and wanted and special.

"Yes, please, Logan." Just a little touching-my breasts, my stomach, my thighs-can get me going in no time flat. I'm ready for him already. And when he does start touching me down there, it drives me wild. I can't form words, my body begins to thrash, and he's got me. "Oh"

"You smell so good." At first I was embarrassed about the smell factor, and especially with his super-sharp senses. But the part of him in my head has really filled me in on how important smell is to him-almost like hearing for me. Not quite as important as vision, but a critical key to how he understands and observes things and people. He breathes deep while we have sex, and not just from the exertion, I know. He's taking the smells all in, and he's smelling me on him and him on me. He likes that a lot. "Ready, darlin'? Or do you want a little more?"

"OK. Stay still a second." He likes cutting a new pair of tights with the claws. Lately, since he's sure I don't mind them at all, he sometimes leaves them out. I bet he will now-he's got that look about him. "There." Even though I know this part-he puts the condom on and I try to relax even more so that he can enter me easily-every time it feels a little like the first time. Lots of anticipation, lots of nervous excitement. And being sure that he'll treat me right, he'll make me feel good, knowing that he'd never, ever hurt me while he has me like this, he'd never take advantage. "Marie" He does this a lot now too-takes my face in one hand while he guides himself in with the other. I can see everything written on his face right now-love, possession, lust, yearning, joy, thankfulness, trust. And I hope he can see all that on me.

"Oh, yes.." The first few seconds are always a little uncomfortable, but I'm pretty much used to him now. I don't think it's the length that causes the pain, it's the thickness. But it feels good too, it feels right. He goes slow and easy at first, letting me get adjusted. Then a little faster and harder. "Logan" He likes to be sure he's all the way inside me, as deep as he can go. And he makes sure he's rubbing up against me just where I need it with each thrust. He looks at my face to check and see where I am and how long he has to hold out before I'm ready. Even that time that he was animalistic with me, he did that. Even then, I had no doubts about him hurting me, no doubts that this was for me as much as it was for him. Even when he's like that, he takes care of me. "Mmmmm."

"Claws, OK?" He's breathing hard now too and the words are barely getting out. I definitely can't talk beyond moans, so I'll just nod. I know what he wants. He's getting close now but he's not as close as me yet. Taking the claws in my mouth, running my tongue along the dull side will make us both go over the edge together. "Yeah, Marie."

"UNNNH!" There-there. Whew. God. Amazing, just amazing. "Oh, darlin'.." He always stays inside me for just a few moments after. I think he'd stay longer if he didn't have to get the condom off, if everything was normal. "Gonna pull out, OK? Just-just stay right there." He's always gentle about it too, never just slides right out. He usually puts one hand on my hip while he does it, to caress me there and make it feel OK for me when he leaves.

"Love you." I didn't always used to say it after every time we did it. But I always felt it, and I want to be sure he knows, especially just in case something bad happens and I don't get the chance to tell him again. He should know that.

"Love you too." He says it so easily now. And I feel it in my bones every time. There's always been a part of me-maybe because of my parents, maybe because of my mutation-that was sure - *certain* - that I'd never be loved like this. That part of me whispers in my ear sometimes that Logan would be better off without me, that he deserves someone normal. And maybe that's true. But when he says he loves me like that, I can't hear that whisper any more. "Gonna protect you and keep you safe, Marie, all the time."

"I know. I know you will." This is the sweetest part-where he takes me in both arms and lays my head against his chest with only the sheet between us. He lets me stroke his chest and stomach, and I let him rub my back. It's what we both want to feel. And sometimes he even talks. I think this is going to be one of those times.

"Me too. I want you to-I want to make sure you feel loved. And I want to make sure you know you're good. You're so good." Sometimes he says bad things about himself, like that he's stupid or violent, and I can tell he really believes that. He took so much of that out of me-those feelings that I was unlovable-that I just can't leave all that bad stuff in him. "You're the best thing in my whole life." I'm going to peek to see if he's smiling at that-he is. That's a good thing. He's always happy when I tell him things like that or when he does something I like. "And you're devastatingly handsome when you smile."

"I do." This is the part where I get too tired and pass out a little. It's really just a micro-nap made possible by all the happy orgasm endorphins running around in me at the moment. See? I can think some of the technical terms like orgasm. Even if Logan still calls it 'getting excited'

She's out, just dead out. Love it when that happens-she says it means that it was one of the *really* good ones for her. Usually stays out about a half hour or so, which means I got a little time to watch her sleep. I like what she was sayin' about the plan. We can get to Calais and get the package, cross over and find a real secluded spot to camp out it. I feel better out in parks and stuff than in cities 'cause there's less confusing smells. I'd be sure to smell anybody comin' after us out in the forest like that.

She's gonna hafta carry us money-wise with the paintings for a while. Don't like that, but at it's gotta be that way for the next coupla weeks. The money she got from Remy-that's what's keepin' us afloat right now. Dunno what we woulda done without that. I know she wanted to go down and see him, but I just-I just gotta be the one to take care of her now. Not Remy. I gotta be the one to do that.

And I like how she's lettin' me do that right now. She comes to me right away if she needs somethin', even little things. She's not tryin' to get by on her own. She feels OK comin' to me and that's what I want 'cause I got all that stuff for her. I didn't know it was in me until she needed it outta me, but as soon as I saw her hurtin' in that lab, it was all there. I'd give my life, whatever I got, to make her OK. In a weird way, somethin' good came outta somethin' real bad. I realized she was mine and that I'd do anythin' for her. Feels good to know that. Feels better to know that it's like that for her too. She hasn't said it in that way, but I can tell. Shoulda probably known right off when she picked me up and made sure to help me out. It's one of those things that just is, but I guess it took me a little while to figure out.

Scares me that things bein' that way might get her into trouble, like her not runnin' away when they came after us. But I ain't gonna argue the point with her 'cause that's how it is. I can't really tell her not to do that kinda stuff, 'cause I know I would and nothin' she'd have to say would stop me. Just gotta make sure not to have that situation happen again. Gotta just keep her safe.

When she wakes up, I'll see if she wantsta do it again or if she wantsta get on the road to Calais. Or maybe she just wantsta stay like this for a while. I think maybe I'd kinda like to do that. It's gettin' late and we could just sleep here for the night probably. Still haven't seen any cars go past this way. We're pretty out in the country. Yeah, I'll say that when she gets up-how 'bout sleepin' here. That way, she can get some more rest and maybe we'll finish the drive to Calais first thing in the mornin'. Maybe I can talk her into gettin' breakfast once we get there. Yeah, sleep here, maybe do it some more, get up, get the package, and get breakfast. That's a good plan.