Eighteen Times No

Title: Eighteen Times No
Author: Terri
Email: xgrrl26@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sequel to Eighteen Questions, Take Three. The X-men try to save Rogue. Logan's got his own ideas about that.
Series: Eighteen #13
Disclaimer: None of them belong to me.
Archive: Ask, and I will happily give.
Feedback: Please! Although the surgeon general warns that feedback may lead to sequels....
Author's Notes: I thought if I were Rogue, I'd reach a point where some relationship issues just had to get decided once and for all. I mean, there's enough external conflict in the lives of these two, isn't there?


"Just lemme do it. You can't figure out what's wrong with her. Just - "

"Exactly, Logan, we don't know if it will even help her. I can't reach into her mind. Putting yourself in could do a lot more damage than good."

"Dammit, I can't just sit here and do nothin' while she's - "

"Logan, listen to me. She's stable, at least physically. Give it some time. Sit with her. Talk to her. She - she might be able to hear you. It might help. You can do that."

"If I touch her I can just - "



"Hey, kid. I, ah, really dunno what to say to you. That probably ain't too surprisin', huh? I hope you can hear me. You're, um, you're back at the mansion. I know you didn't wanna come back, but we kinda had to. You had - somethin' happened up at the cabin and somethin's wrong with you. Jeannie's here and she's tryin'.......shit. Jeannie's here and she, ah.....hey Jeannie?"


"Do you think you could leave us alone for a little while?"

"Sure, I'll be right outside. I can monitor her from there."

"Thanks, darlin'"

"Logan.....are you all right?"



"OK, kid, listen up. I couldn't say all this stuff in fronta Jeannie 'cause, you know, it's personal, just between us. I need to.....I want to take some time and get this right........"

"All right, I think I got it. I.....God, I.........."

"Sorry. Sorry. I got it this time. I don't want you to worry about a thing. I don't want you to think you can't, uh, come outta this 'cause I'll be upset or anything when you wake up. I'm gonna keep a level head here. So don't you worry about that. You gotta come outta this, darlin'. You gotta be OK. 'Cause I don't wanna even think about....you just gotta be OK. That's all there is to it. You're the one good thing I've ever had, and I can't lose ya. If you don't come back to me soon, darlin', I-I......."

"Baby, please, please just be OK. I know you will be. You're tough, tougher than me even. You're gonna make it through because I know how stubborn you are. I'm not even gonna think for a minute that you won't be just fine. Not for even a second, OK? Because if I lose you.......no, no I'm not gonna think about that."



"Jeannie! Somethin's wrong!"

"I know, Logan, I'm - "

"Do something! Help her!"

"Logan, move, I - "

"What's wrong!? What's wrong?!"

"Her hearbeat became irregular, just for a little while. She's OK now. She's stabilizing."

"What the hell happened?"

"I don't know, Logan, I don't know. The Professor should be here any minute, he's rushing back. He left the conference as soon as he heard you. Just hold on."

"Jeannie.......what if he can't help her?"

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Maybe I should just - "

"No, Logan."

"But - "



"Hello, Logan. Jean. I apologize for the delay. I returned from Washington as soon as possible. How is Rogue?"

"We haven't been able to find any evidence of injury or pathology. The CAT scans and other tests were negative. Her vitals are stable, and brain activity appears normal, but I can't reach her telepathically. It's like she's just not there. I'm hoping you'll have better luck."

"Allow me to try."


<Rogue, can you hear me? It's Professor Xavier.>

<Rogue, can you hear me? It's Professor Xavier.>

<Rogue, please answer me, it's Professor Xavier.>




"He'll keep trying. It's early yet."

"Shit. Shit. I hate this."

"Yes, Logan, I can tell."

"Now is not the time to fuck with me, one-eye."

"What were you thinking, Logan?"

"Fuck you."

"She does something physically unprecedented that leaves her unconscious for almost an hour, something that makes her bleed from the nose and ear, and you didn't think to get her medical attention?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"No, no, I won't. I'd like to hear your explanation for that, Logan. I'd really like to hear it because if I recall, you came here and yanked her away from us because we didn't take good enough care of her. Isn't that right?"

"Leave me the fuck alone, goddammit!"

"And you take care of her like this? She worships the ground you walk on, Logan. She'd follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked her to. And you can't even be bothered to take her to a doctor, or to call us when she - "

"Fucking enough! That's fucking enough! You don't understand."

"That's the first thing you've said that I agree with. Because I don't understand how she could mean so little to you as to - "

"I said shut the fuck up! You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

"I don't?"


"Are you going to give me some half-assed explanation for your behavior or just pace and growl?"

"I ain't explainin' shit to you."

"Fine. I tell you what, Logan, if she pulls through, if she pulls out of this, I'm not going to let her make the same mistakes twice. She's not some toy for your amusement."

"Fuck you."

"She's not some little doll that exists to satisfy your needs and whims. Leave her here when it's not convenient for you to have her with you, yank her out of school and home when it is. Play with her emotions for you while you lust after my wife. Use her to - "

"Listen up, you mother fucker. I'm gonna speak real fuckin' slowly so you understand. If you do not shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone, we're gonna go. You and me, one of us walks away."

"Typical. Do you think that's what Rogue needs?"





"How is she, Jeannie?"

"I think the Professor is having some success. I still don't know what's wrong, though. Scott, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, honey."

'Now is not the time for this. Once we get her through this, you can yell at him until your heart's content, but not now."

"Jean - "

"No, no 'Jean'. He's hurting. Don't rub salt in it."

"I'm not - "

"I know you care about her, honey, but we need to focus on helping her now, not punishing Logan. If you can't keep control of yourself, you should go wait upstairs."


"Well, Scott, are you staying?"



"Thanks for gettin' rid of him, darlin'."

"Frankly, I don't disagree with him. But it's hardly productive to fight about it now. Rogue doesn't need to wake up to you with a hole in your head because he couldn't keep a lid on it."

"How is she doin'?"

"Hard to tell. But the Professor said that he could sense her a little. That has to be a good sign."


"Logan, there's not a lot you can do right now, and she's going to need you when she wakes up. Why don't you go get some rest and - "

"No way, Jeannie, I'm not goin' anywhere. She'll freak if I'm not here when she wakes up. She'll think I left."

"Logan, we can call you the second she - "



"She's crashing! Professor, you have to break the link, she's - "

<Wait, Jean, wait......can you...can you resuscitate her?>

<Trying now.>

"What the hell is happenin'?"

"Hang on, hang on, more epinephrine. Come on, come on Rogue..."

"Jeannie! What the hell - "

"Got her! Got her!"

<Good work, Jean. Good work.>

"Goddammit, Jeannie! What - "

"She's stable. She's stable. We lost her for a minute."

"You fucking lost her for a minute?! Jeannie, you gotta let me - "

"No, Logan, the Professor's still with her. Let him help her."

"I can help her too, I can - "



<I'm afraid I've lost her, Jean.>

"Oh God."

"What? What is it?"

"Logan, the Professor's lost contact with her."

"Fuck, he can try again, he can - "

"No, he's lost her. She's deteriorating."

"There's gotta be a way he can - "



"How much longer?"

"Jean said a few hours. There's nothing else she can do. I don't think....I don't think she could quite take it, staying with her. It's very difficult for a telepath to feel someone die.........I'm sorry, Logan, there's nothing more we can do."

"There's somethin' I can do, one-eye."

"Jean's warned you against it. It might not work at all, and she could kill you, Logan."

"You think I really give a shit, one-eye?"

"I don't know what to think."

"You think you can stop me?"


"Well, you gonna try?"



"Come on, baby......come on.......please, darlin'......."

<Jean - >


<I think it's working. She's taking him in.>

<He didn't - >

<Yes, he did. I think it's working. Come quick.>

<Scott, you shouldn't have let him risk - >

<I'd trade his life for hers any day, Jean. You would too.>

<Oh, God. I'm on my way. Is Logan all right?>



"Oof! I've got him."

"Careful, he's seizing - "

"I got him, take care of her!"

"Rogue, Rogue, can you hear me?"


"Rogue, it's Jean, can you hear me?"

"Uh, Jean, he stopped seizing."

"Check his pulse. Rogue, it's Jean, can you hear me?"


"Yes, it's Jean, oh thank God."


"Just lie still, all right? Everything's all right."

"Pulse is thready."

"My hands hurt, my arms.....Jean?"

"Rogue, stay still, stay - "

"Is that Logan? Oh my God! Is he-is he - oh my God, he's not dead, is he?"

"Jean, I've lost his pulse."

"I'm coming - "

"Oh, God, Logan!"

"Stay calm, Rogue, we've got him. Scott, move, honey, I need to - get me that syringe and the vial on the far left. Hurry!"


"Come on, Logan, respond. Logan....... "

"Oh my God, Jean, is he - "

"Rogue, calm down, Jean's helping him."

"Is he - "


"Jean? Is he - is he- did I kill him?"

"Whew. I got him, Rogue. He's got a pulse. He's back."

"He's not, he's not dead?"



"He'll be all right."

"God, Scott, how could you let him do that?"

"Easily. You were dying, Rogue. We couldn't help you. He was your last chance."

"He was dead, really dead for a while, Scott. If Jean hadn't given him that shot of adrenaline, I don't know -"

"Don't think about it now. Don't let yourself get upset. You need to relax and get some rest."

"Scott, what the hell happened to me?"

"We don't really know, Rogue. Do you remember anything?"

"I...I don't remember what happened, just a really bad headache, then nothing."

"Logan told us you reversed your mutation somehow."

"Yes, but that was months ago, and I seemed fine afterwards."

"Rogue, what possessed you to do that?"

"I needed to, OK, Scott? Leave it at that."

"Rogue, if it was because of something Logan did - "

"You'll never let him forget it. And he's going to be difficult enough to deal with when he wakes up. He's going to feel bad enough. So just drop it. Scott - my arms, my hands hurt."

"Jean'll be over in a minute. She's just finishing hooking up the monitors to Logan, just to be sure."

"I-I feel like I have to.....uh!"

"God, Rogue! Those are claws! Are they bone? They're - they're - oh my God, Rogue...."

"Oh God, they're Logan's. His-his must've been bone originally. Before they got him. Oh my God."

"Don't they hurt?"

"No. Not too bad."

"No? Because they look like there's blood on them."

"It is blood. I wonder if I can put them back - oh, there. How weird. This didn't happen last time."

"Can you feel Logan in your head this time?"

"Yes, a lot. If it was anyone else, I'd be going nuts right about now, but I'm kind of used to him."

"Rogue, when you're feeling better, we need to talk about - "

"Scott, I know you don't like him. I know you think he's bad news for me, but - "

"We're just looking out for you. And he has hurt you. You can't deny that."

"And I've hurt him too. Shit happens, Scott."

"It's not that simple. I know you feel close to him, but - "

"Scott, just let it go. There's a lot that's happened, and I.....just let it go for now."

"All right. Get some rest. We'll talk later. Do you need anything?"

"Just for Logan to wake up."

"Anything besides that?"



"Hey there sugar."


"Wake up, you've been sleeping enough. Four days is sleep aplenty."


"Come on, sugar. I want to see those beautiful eyes. Come on back to us."


"Right here."

"You.....you OK?"

"Yeah, sugar. Thanks to you. You keep right on saving my life."

"God, it worked.............They didn't......didn't know what was wrong with you..........Oh, God, I thought you were gonna die right there in front of me, darlin'."

"Nope, too stubborn for that."

"You sure you're all right?.........Did they figure out what was wrong?"

"I'm just fine, don't you worry about me, sugar. You just rest up a little more, all right? I'm going to sit with you until you feel better."

"Marie, answer me. Did they figure out what was wrong?"



"I don't want to stay here, Logan."

"You don't wanna stay 'cause you think I don't wanna."

"You don't want to."

"You need to be here for a while, Marie, until Chuck can figure out what the hell happened back there. You need to be where there's medical help if you need it."

"Did you notice how little help all that medical help was to me?"

"Darlin', we need to know what we're dealin' with here. What do you think woulda happened if I hadnta called Chuck to come and get you?"

"Exactly what happened eighteen hours later here. You would've touched me, healed me, and saved my life. And maybe not died yourself if you had done it right away, before I had one foot in the grave."

"Don't say things like that."


"You know, you're a damn stubborn woman."

"This is a surprise to you?"

"Look, Marie, this is happenin' to you 'cause of me. 'Cause I was an asshole. Now, do you think I'm ever gonna forget what happened to you because of it? Do you think I'll ever forgive myself if somethin' bad happens again?"

"Logan, it's not your fault, neither one of us knew - "

"Maybe not. But Scooter's right, I shoudla known to get you to a doctor. I shoulda looked out for you better.  I fucked up."

"I didn't think it was serious, either, Logan. And there was no warning - "

"Stay here, just humor me darlin'."

"What should we tell the Professor and the others?"

"About what?"

"About, you know, us."

"They ain't gonna like it."

"I don't really care. Wait, you don't want to tell them anything, do you? Are you ashamed of us?"

"Hell no. It's just that - they won't like it. They all love you, darlin'. They're worried - "

"But I love you. That's the most important thing to me."

"Marie, baby -

"You- you think they're right, don't you?

"They got a point."

"And so what? Are you - are you thinking about leaving me?"

"No. Absolutely not. I ain't goin' nowhere. I made you that promise, and I - "

"No, you'll-you'll stay here but you won't be with me anymore. That's what you're thinking, isn't it? It won't be like it has been."

"Marie, honey - "

"No, I don't want to hear it. You know what? I've had it. I can't do this anymore. I really can't. It's too much."

"Listen, I'm not sayin' I don't love you, I just - maybe just for a while, we shouldn't - "

"No, save it, Logan. Because it doesn't matter what else you're gonna say. I know what you're thinking. And, you know what? I just can't take it anymore. I have enough in my life to deal with - Mystique, Sabretooth, Magneto, whatever the hell is going on with my mutation. I need to know if I can count on you or not. And I don't need you changing your mind every five minutes about us. Because I need you to be with me. No more of this angsty bullshit about whether you're good for me or not. I need you to be with me. So decide, in or out. One way or another. Because if you're not going to be with me.....I know I said I wouldn't hold you to that promise you made to me on Christmas Eve, and I won't. But I need to know."

"I really don't know what to do here darlin', but I don't wanna hurt you. Any more than I already have."

"Well, I'm not going to sugar-coat it for you. You will hurt me. And I'll hurt you. As I've told Scott, shit happens. Logan, no relationship is perfect, and I'll tell you something - I'd go through every single bad thing a thousand more times because the good things make it worth it. They do to me. If you don't feel the same way, if you're not willing to deal with it......"


"Decide, Logan, because I can't.....I-I......"

"No, baby, don't cry."

"I'm not. Don't let that......just decide, Logan. Are you leaving me?"



"You OK now?"

"Yeah, I didn't mean to get on a crying jag like that. I know how you love those."

"Don't bother me in the least. We'll take turns havin' outbursts - you cry, I'll yell."

"We can both break things, though, right?"

"You're feelin' better."

"Yeah. What are we going to say to the Professor? And Scott? I think Jean and 'Ro will be easier, and Kitty and Jubes'll throw a parade or something, but...."

"I can handle it if you don't wanna deal with it."

"No, no. They'll think I'm not being 'adult' about it or something if I don't face them when they're told."

"Up to you. We'll figure it out. I'd be willin' to place a bet Chuck knows."

"Hmmm......we have a little time. We're supposed to go talk to the Professor in another hour or so."

"Yeah. Hey - we're OK, right?"

"Oh yeah. You know, we actually fight pretty well. We get things worked out in the end."

"That's all you, darlin'. You have a way of makin' things work out. You're always the one who settles this kinda stuff."

"Really? Well, then it's your turn for a while. You work out the next fight."

"All right. Ya know, I hate fightin' with ya, darlin', but I like the makin' up."

"You want to do some serious making up?"

"Hell yeah, just as soon as you're feelin' up to it."

"Oh, I'm feeling up to it. Logan, did I tell you I've still got your healing factor?"

"No. It's hangin' in there this time, huh? Wonder why."

"Probably because I almost killed you. I did kill you. You were dead for a few seconds. That was a really close call."

"Nah. I'm a tough old bastard. What, why're you lookin' at me like that? I know that look, and, not that I ain't interested, but we should really wait until you're better before we - "

"Let me try this again. We were talking about whether I'm up for sex, and I said, and I repeat, 'Logan, did I tell you I've still got your healing factor?'"

"No, darlin', no you didn't mention that."


"No, but I think I get the picture."

"So does that mean you're not going to make me, you know, wait a few weeks or months until I - oh!"