Eighteen Weeks of Winter

Title: Eighteen Weeks of Winter
Author: Terri
Email: xgrrl26@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17, sex, and lots of it
Summary: Sequel to Eighteen Things Learned Along the Way. Logan and Rogue, a long winter, and an isolated cabin.
Series: Eighteen #11
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I'm treating them pretty well this time around....
Archive: Ask, and it shall be yours.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Author's Notes: Say hello to resolved sexual tension......a little smutty interlude before they venture back into reality. Sorry if Week Twelve icks you out - but I really did have a conversation like this with one of my first real boyfriends.....


Week One - Sunday

"It's beautiful here. Absolutely beautiful."


"Thanks for, you know, bringing in all the stuff, and especially for carrying me that last mile or so."

"No problem."

"I just - you know, Mississippi girl, not so good with ice and rocks and snow."

"I didn't mind."



"I'm a little nervous."

"Really? I couldn't tell. Hey - ouch!"

"That's what you get for making fun of me."

"I ain't makin' fun of ya, darlin'. Just tryin' to make you feel comfortable here."

"It's not that I'm uncomfortable, it's just that, you know, you've never really been exposed to me in close quarters for a long period of time. I'm just a little nervous that, you know, I'll irritate you or something."

"We spent the last six weeks or so together most of the time."

"Yeah, but you were unconscious for some of it, and we were travelling, and there was always, you know, stuff to do and see. And people to run away from. Now there's just, um, me."

"You're plenty interestin'."

"Oh, OK."

"Hey, Marie?"


"Mind gettin' me that blanket? I'm gonna get the bed ready. I'm tired as hell."

"Me too. Here you go."

"We can put away all this stuff in the mornin', huh? After we get some sleep."

"Sure. Um, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure darlin'."

"When we left Westchester, you, um, just kind of assumed we'd start sleeping in the same bed. I was wondering why that was."

"Huh. You know, I guess I really did assume. Didn't think much about it."


"Botherin' you?"

"Weren't you afraid of my skin?"

"Nah. Afraid of clawin' ya without meanin' to, but didn't worry about your skin, no."

"That bed's pretty small."

"You don't wanna sleep in it? I could put you in the bed, I can take the floor."

"No, no, I'm just being a little paranoid, I guess. I'm just worried I'll touch you or something and I'll be too asleep to realize it. And then, you know, you'll, um die. Just a little worried about that."

"You been worried this whole time? Every night?"

"Kind of, but not really."

"Why didn't you say nothin'?"

"Well, because, you know, the first night you were disappointed in me about the glove thing at the gas station and I didn't want to make a fuss about it, then I just, I don't know, got used to it. Liked it. Then, um, you were unconscious, and I wanted to make sure you were breathing and everything during the night. After that I guess I just put it out of my head or something. I forgot how dangerous it was for a little while. But now that I really think about it, we shouldn't take chances just to - "

"It ain't that dangerous. I ain't worried."


"I can wear my gloves."

"No, you don't have to, I don't think. I mean, I'll put mine on and that way the only skin showing is my face. Maybe I can change into one of my turtlenecks too. I'm just - I'll just have to be careful not to rub up against your neck or your face."

"Darlin', would you do somethin' for me?"


"Take those gloves off. Take off your socks."

"Um... "

"Trust me."

"OK. Um, Logan - "

"What've you got on under there?"

"A t-shirt."

"No bra, right?"

"Ah, no, no. Um, Logan - "

"Then take it off and leave the t-shirt. And the thermals, if you want."

"Um - "

"Trust me, Marie. Now get in bed."

"OK, but - "

"No buts, just get on in."

"Logan, I don't want to make you sleep on the floor, I'm not - "

"I ain't sleepin' on the floor."

"Oh. Oh, no. No. It's too much skin, I can't - "

"You know, you talk a lot."

"Logan - "

"Hush up. I've got socks on, and gloves. The long underwear'll keep me covered."

"Logan, I can't - "

"Darlin', don't worry, all right? There, just scoot over a little. Now scoot down. Put your head right here."

"My hands - "

"You pick a good spot for 'em. I'm open to suggestion."

"This isn't funny, Logan, I could - "

"Yeah, Marie, you could. And I could hurt you too. That's the way it is. Wanna worry about it or go to sleep?"


"Well, kid?"

"I'm thinking."

"Take your time. I'm pretty cozy right here."

"Are you sure?"


"Can I put my hands here?"

"That's a good spot. Hey, while you're over there, how about rubbin' my back a little?"


"Mmm... nice. You OK?"

"Yeah, I think so. I think so. Just - just not used to this, you know."

"But you like it?"

"Oh yeah, but that's not really the point. What I like isn't really - I don't want to have an accident and hurt you."

"I know."

"And it can't be very comfortable for you. I mean, you usually just sleep naked or with boxers when you're not with me. I feel bad enough that - "

"Did I mention that you talk a lot?"

"Logan... ."

"Not that I mind all that much, usually. It's times like now, though, when I just wanna hold on to you and get some sleep that I mind a little."

"You just want to hold on to me? You're liking this?"


"There's not a little part of you that's, you know, scared for your life?"


"OK, then. OK, I guess."

"Good. Hey, kid?"


"Mind keepin' that up? Been a while since my last backrub."

"Really? Well, we'll have to rectify that. Can't have you lacking in backrub frequency."

"Feelin' better then?"

"Good enough to tease you."

"Lucky me."


Week Two - Thursday

"Whatcha doin'?" She's really, really cute when she's concentrating. Doesn't even notice she bites her lip like that, I bet.

"What's it look like?"

"Looks like you're drawin' again."


"Whatcha drawin'?" I'd lay odds it's me. Not to be egotistical about it, but 90 percent of her drawings since we've been up here are me. Me and bikes. What did she say? Most of what she likes, some of what I like.

"It's you."

"What part this time?"

"Your left knee."

"Which is much different than the right one you drew yesterday."

"Yeah." She means it too. That's the cute part. She'll probably sit all afternoon drawing little differences in my knees. That's enough to make even an all-badass like me go a little mushy.

"When you gonna be done?"

"Soon. You anxious to see it? I'll let you take a peek."

"Nah. I'm anxious to kiss you."

Now she's blushin'. Ever since I caught her in the kitchen three days ago and gave her a 15-minute kiss, I've been doin' a lot of kissin' her. I think she's likin' it. She's taken to wearin' scarves every day.

"You know, I feel a sudden need to step back, get a little perspective on my work, take a break to - mmph... ."

Couldn't wait for her to finish. She's wearin' the really thin scarf today, fine silk. I can taste her almost right away through that one. God, she's gettin' pretty good at this. At first, she wasn't quite sure what to do, or maybe she was just too shy to do it. I mean, she's got me in her head, she probably knows a whole lot of stuff. Wait, why is she stoppin'?


"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you want to, um, do something else?"

"Oh, uh, we don't have to do this right now. Sorry." Maybe I've been pushin' her a little too much. I mean, she did tell me that touchin' her at all was like a big thing for her, and maybe havin' her sleep with fewer clothes and all this kissin' is a little too much, too fast.

"No, I didn't mean stop. I meant, you know, would you like to do a little more than kiss me?" Every cell in my body is pretty much shouting "hell yeah" but I gotta go slow. Don't want to scare her. "I mean, I was thinking, you know, that if you wanted to put on those gloves you don't mind too much and maybe I could lie down... .." Oh yeah. Oh fucking yeah. That's a damn fine idea. "Logan? Do you - mmph... " Just one more kiss first.

"Lie down on the bed, OK? I'll get the gloves."

"O-OK." She's real nervous, I can tell. Gonna go slow. Nice and easy.

"Relax, darlin'. It's just me." That made her smile.


"You just tell me if you want me to stop."


This is like sittin' down in front of a whole smorgasbord. I don't know where to start. Her neck. Been thinkin' about kissin' her there for a while. I can use the scarf.

"Mmm... "

Yeah, she likes that too. God, she tastes good right here. Right at the little hollow in her neck. Little bit of sweat, just enough. God, this is good.

"Let me, let me help you."

What? Oh hell, how did my hands get there? Not a minute in and I'm reaching for the buttons on her shirt. Slow down, slow down.

Oh shit, she's already unbuttoning. I'm not gonna be able to stop that. Skin, lots of skin. God, perfect collarbones, and she's not wearin' a bra underneath, she hasn't since we got here. She caught me checkin' her out once and asked me if it bothered me that she didn't. Shit, I told her I'm all for her being comfortable. Beautiful, just beautiful breasts, just like I thought they would be. God, perfect. That curve right there, just on the underside of her breast, that's gonna get some attention, for sure. That, and her cute little stomach, I -

"What the hell?!"


Oh God, that's one hell of a scar. She said Sabretooth just scratched her, that the cut on her stomach wasn't deep, back in New York. That's no fucking scratch!

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" I can feel the scar tissue even through the gloves, and that's got to be an eight-inch gash or something. Holy hell. She was hurt bad. Why the hell didn't she say something? She was - wait, she's moving, sitting up. "Marie?"

"I-I'm sorry." She's pulling her shirt together, and, shit, shit, she can't look at me and she's got tears in her eyes. "I should've told you it was there. I didn't - I didn't think."

"Hey, no, it's OK." She's still backing away from me, scooting to the top of the bed. Aw, shit. "Darlin', don't. It's OK." Oh God, she's gonna break my heart right here with that little half-frown and those tears in her eyes. "It's OK, honey, just, just don't cry, OK?"

"I'm so stupid, I didn't think to tell you, I should've said something before you just looked at it. I just forgot it was there, honest." She is crying now, big wet tears, head down. Fuck.

"It's OK."

"N-no, it's not. I-it's ugly, and I sh-should've thought that you w-wouldn't want to be s-s-surprised with - " She's shaking now too, and pulling that shirt tight as hell around her. Think, Logan, think. Figure out the right thing to say, has to be the right thing. Don't get all pissed off about it right now.

"Hey, you just stop right there, OK? Come here." Shaking her head at me, that's not good. "Please? Don't - don't be upset, darlin'. Don't cry. Come here. Come here, baby." She's looking at me, trying to gage if I mean it. I know that look, all right, even through cryin' eyes. "Marie, honey, come over here. Come on." Come on, baby, there, that's it, just scoot over a little, I'll come the rest of the way. Wonder if it's OK to touch her. "I wanna... .I'm gonna touch your hands, OK? I'm gonna hold your hands, OK?"

"OK. But don't - don't - I wanna leave my shirt closed."

"OK, OK, look, there, we'll just wrap it around you like this. Now look at me, Marie. Look at me." Shit, she's shakin' somethin' fierce. But she's lookin' at me. That's good. "It's all right. There's nothin' wrong here. Not a thing. I was just surprised a little, OK? I was just surprised, and you know me, when I get surprised, nothin' comes out quite right." Big shuddering breath, but the tears are slowin' down. "I'm just worried, darlin'. It looks like that hurt you, like it was pretty serious. When we talked about this, you said it was a scratch."

"I-I know, I didn't want you to get upset, and go all crazy about it. It was done and you getting all upset wasn't going to do any good. I'm sorry, I just didn't think when I asked you to... ."

"It's all right. Tell me somethin' darlin' - I wanna know how bad it really was. No bullshit, all right?"

"It-it looks worse than it really was. The scar - my skin doesn't really heal well, I don't know if it's the mutation or what, but it doesn't. And it's hard for Jean to work on me, she has to be double gloved, so the stitches weren't as good. But it's OK. I mean, it didn't really hurt that bad, and it wasn't as deep as it looks." That was hard for her. More tears comin' out. Shit. I am gonna find a way to kill that motherfucker. I don't care if I have to hack him into bits and feed him to a fucking team of dogs. The next time he crosses my path, he is dead. He is fucking over. "Logan?"

Get it together, Logan. Think about her. "Marie, you listen to what I'm gonna say now, OK? You're beautiful, darlin'. Just beautiful. Not one single thing ugly about you. Understand?"

"You d-don't have to say that. I know how it looks. I know - "

"Hey, stop. Me talk, you listen, OK?"

"Logan... ."

"You're beautiful. Nothin' in the whole world as pretty as you. Understand?"

"I - "

"I'm gonna... .I'm just gonna hug you, OK? Is that OK?"

"Yeah... "

Shit, she really is shaking. Just hang on to her, let her calm down. She'll be OK.


Week Three - Wednesday

He's giving me that look again. That "I want you, now" look. Not that I don't like it, just.....

Since The Scar Incident, as it is now known, he's been very, very careful with me. We haven't done more than kissing, and I just don't know if I can take my top off for him without getting all weird about it. I'm afraid that he'll get all mad or look at me like he's hurting when he sees the scar. God knows he's done enough to try to reassure me that I'm still beautiful to him, and I actually believe him, I just don't want that emotion to be there when he's touching me - mad or upset. I want him to just like it.

I've been thinking of a way to try to explain that to him. And coming up with exactly crap. I can't really tell him to change his reactions, not to be who he is. He compromises a lot of that for me already, and maybe I should just suck it up and try to ride out whatever reaction he has.

"Hey, whatcha thinkin'?"

"You know what? I was thinking I'd like to ask you to do something for me."

"Sure, darlin'."

Easy, Rogue. Move over to the bed nice and easy. "You really shouldn't agree before you know what it is." That's it, be a little flirty. You can flirt. You're a southern belle, you know how.

"I'm not worried."

Lie down on the bed, remain calm. It's just a bed. Reach for the scarf, bring it across your throat. It's just a scarf. And it's just Logan. Man-of-my-dreams-and-lurid-sexual-fantasies Logan. "Get your gloves on and come on over here for a minute."

His eyes just got very, very big. I think that's a good sign. "You sure?"

OK, Rogue. Just give it a try. It's really just unbuttoning a few little buttons. Six buttons. See, not so many. One. There we go. That's a start. "What do you think, sugar?" Two. Not bad at all.

"Wait." God, he looks like a predator just now, the way he's moving toward me. "Let me."

"All right." Keep hands from shaking. The scar is still covered. However he reacts, it's not coming just yet.

"Marie, baby, you look so good right now." OK, OK, he's here, just - ooooh - wasn't prepared for that. I don't think he's ever kissed me in quite that spot, right on my sternum through the scarf. God, that was erotic. Concentrate on that, focus on that..

"You going to leave me half-unbuttoned, sugar?" Maybe he doesn't want to do it yet either. Maybe he -

"Not for long." There he goes, button three, button four, button five, button six. OK, I'm chicken. I can't really look at him. "Stay perfectly still." What's he doing? All right, I can't stand to be curious, I have to open my eyes. I'll just suck it up when he gets upset and I won't let it spoil - oh my God! He licked me! He licked me without the scarf, right across my scar. He must've worked up lots of saliva to stop my skin from reacting. Oh God. That felt - oh God - but -

"Logan, it's dangerous. Please - "

"I know baby, I won't do it anymore. Just wanted to, once." The way he's looking at me now. My God, that's not a reaction I expected. So intense. He just burns, it's all heat, it's all - "Wanted to make sure you knew I didn't have a thing about the scar."

God, I can't even formulate a response to that. My body's going crazy, I felt his tongue - his naked tongue - on me, and, oh, I just have to have more, right now. "Touch me, please, just touch me."

Both hands, right to my breasts. Moving so slow, so gentle even if the gloves make his hands feel rough, it's tender and good. Oh yes, that's, oh, yes....he's right on top of me, I can feel his hips on mine, and, God, he's getting excited. Don't want to lead him on, 'cause I'm not really ready to -

"Look at me, baby." That's, oh, one hand in my hair and the other still on my breast. He's twisting the hand in my hair and turning my head, and it's so good, it's so good.....



I can't help it, I don't mean to but I can't help it, my back arches a little and my hips move a little against his, and, oh, I can't help it......


He's - oh God, he's moving his hips too, and - oh, no, don't stop, don't stop.

"Hang on darlin'. I....I gotta hang on a second here." I don't know if he said that for him or me. "Sorry."

"For what?" Oh my, that came out all breathy and rough, and can I help it if he's making me all pant-y?

"Goin' a little too fast there. Just give me, just give me a second here." He's rolling off me but his hands are still on my body. On my stomach and on my breast. Which, clearly, is where they should stay. Permanently.

"OK. Don't....don't move your hands, though, OK?"

Oh my, that's a look I haven't seen before.

"You like that?" And now he is moving his hand, little circles, stopping to pinch my nipple just a little.




Oh God, he's giving me more, he's still not on top of me, but oh God just the way he's stroking my stomach and touching me......I can't, I can't, I have to arch up into his hands, I can't......

"God, darlin'...."

Too much, too much, I - his voice and how he wants me and all the touching and sensation that I never knew could be so much - it's overload. I just have to, I just have to slow down a minute.

"Logan, Logan, s-slow down a little?" I don't sound very convincing, all whispery and -

"All right, baby, all right." His hands are stopping, but he's not taking them off me which is just about right because nothing, no touch, would be like withdrawal right now and I wonder how the hell he knows just what to do with me.

"Sorry. I just, I just got a little overwhelmed there."

"Don't say sorry. It's all right."

"Keep, keep your hands on me for a little while. Just like that."


"You OK?"

"I know what you mean about overwhelmed, darlin'."


Week Four - Friday


"You awake?"




"Darlin' wake up, you're havin' a nightmare."


"You're gettin' all twisted up in the covers there, wake up, honey."

"Oh God....."


"Oh God, yes, more.......yes......"




Week Five - Sunday

If I don't have sex with her soon, I'm gonna explode.


Week Six - Sunday

I mean it, boom, no more Logan, no more -


"Yeah?" God, could she stop calling me that? It's just making the not-exploding harder. And I can smell her so strong, she just took a bath and I bet her hair's all wet and clingy and -

"I don't wanna surprise you, but would you look at me for a second?"

"Sure, I - " Whoa. Nakednakednaked. She's naked. Except for my tags. "Damn."

"I take it that means you like what you see?"


"I thought we could, you know, do what we talked about yesterday. You know, if you want. I'd like to."

"Oh yeah." I have no idea what the hell she's talkin' about 'cause I can't really remember my name right now, let alone some conversation from yesterday.

"Logan?" There it is, that's my name. Right. Logan. That's me.


"Um, Logan, that means that you're gonna have to come a little closer to me, sugar."

"Yeah." Hell yeah. Closer, definitely, yeah.

"Wait, you'll need the gloves."

"Gloves?" Too much talking. Not enough -

"Yes, the gloves, Logan, right there on the dresser."

"Oh yeah, OK." Clear the head, clear the head, think, think. Apparently, we talked about somethin' yesterday that made her get naked. Think, gotta remember what that was. So I can do it again.

"Are you all right?"

Oh, no. Don't - don't smile like that 'cause - aw, shit, no more thinkin' now. "Oh yeah."

"Is that all you can say?" That's-that's not right, that little hand on her hip, that little tilt of her head, fuck, that's just not right. I'm not gonna be able to control myself for five fucking seconds if she - "Logan? You with me here?"

"Uh-huh." Got the gloves on. That means I can touch her. Oh yeah.

"Should I - should I lie down on the bed?"



"What?" Touching, touching, touching. Her breasts. Know she likes that. Maybe she'll grab my arm and dig her fingers in like she did the other day when she was really getting into it, hell, that almost made me -

"Sugar, I, uh....." She forgot. Whatever she was gonna say. Which is good. 'Cause too much talking. Not enough - "Do you want me to, ah, can you move to the side a little?"

Uh-huh. I can do that. I can do that. Won't even have to take my hands off you 'cause - oh, oh God that's what we talked about yesterday. All comin' back to me now. She's ready to do that? 'Cause I didn't think -

"I'm sorry, sugar, I can't wait, please, just, please touch me." She's opening her legs and she grabbed one of my hands and oh, god, yeah....


"Oh, yes, that's so.....oh yes....." She's damn ready for me and I can smell her oh God this isn't gonna work, I'm not gonna be able to keep from - "Logan...." Fuck, when she calls my name like that.....damn, that's good.

"Marie, God, you feel so warm, baby, so good." Can't even keep my thoughts in my head anymore, I -

"Uh! Oh, yes, I-I......"

Shit, shit didn't mean to do that, she's never been touched like that, someone penetrating her and it's only my fingers but she's a virgin, she's not -

"More....please, Logan...."

FUCK. This is not gonna work, I'm already close, fuck, I can't keep from -

"Unnh! Don't....don't stop, please...." Shit, she's rolling her hips now, fuck, and watchin' her is really getting to me and fuck if she doesn't look wild as hell right now.

"Yes, darlin', I want you to, just let go, baby, you're so ready...." Can't keep from going faster, rougher, hope it's OK, hope she's -

"Aah! I-I....uh! Oh God, p-please, more, more, I can't - please Logan....." Oh hell, she's lookin' right into my eyes and callin' my name and fuck I can't stop this - I want her to come for me, just for me, and I don't want it to be slow and soft I want it now, right now - I want to watch it happen - God......

"Go ahead baby, let it go, come on - " I'm close too and she's gotta be -

"Unnnh! Logan!" Yeah, that's it, God her whole body is twistin' and fuck she smells so good. "Oh! I-I- oh!" There we go, there it is and God, she's lookin' right at me and everything is just right there and she's so good, it's so good, she's mine, she's mine, I'm the only one who'll ever touch her like this, the only one to see her like this, she's mine -


"Oh darlin'....."

"Oh my God."


"I can't move....."

"I got you....."

"I-I can't believe that.....I didn't even know, didn't even know I could do that....God. How did you make me feel so good?"

Fuck yeah, only me baby, only me. Just with me. Oh yeah, keep on lookin' at me like that, with your hair fallin' over your face. Keep on doin' it because it's gettin' me - oh, God, I need you to -

"Please baby, can you, can you - "

"Yeah, oh yeah. Let me get my gloves. Hang on, sugar." Her body's all flushed and I can smell the hell out of her and fuck, hurry up darlin'.

"Stay still." She's got the really thin silk gloves and damn that oughta be good. We didn't talk about this part but I need it, God, I need it, and I think she can - fuck, fuck, lookin' at her naked and pink and warm I'm not gonna make it. "Careful......"

"Do it, please baby, I - " Oh yeah, yeah, she's touching me, finally, oh yeah.

"Like this?"

"Unnh..damn!...just like that...." She's leaning over me, right over top of me, and all that hair, and oh God -

"Logan, sugar...."

"Faster, baby, a little faster - " Now, right now, Marie, I need to -

"Whatever you want." Shit, hearin' those words does somethin' to me, that's for damn sure. She's so close to me I can smell her and feel her breath and God, oh God -

"Aaah! Unnnh!" That's it, that's it, that's it.......oh, yeah, that was good. Oh yeah. Holy hell, that was good.

She's OK with it right? I wasn't - wait, she's just lookin' down at me all fascinated by somethin', just lookin' at, at - is she gonna - she's gonna taste me, oh God, oh God, those little drops on her gloves, she doesn't even know I'm watchin', oh God, her tongue darting out to -


"Oh darlin'...." Whoa, shouldnta said anything 'cause that snapped her head up. Shit. Now she's embarrassed, she caught herself.


"Hell no, don't be sorry."

"I was just curious." Wide-eyed and innocent and debauched all at the same time. Fuck me, she's mine. Never let anybody else see her like this. Just me.

"It's all good, baby." Want to encourage it, matter of fact.

"You taste good." Blushin' like crazy but those eyes are hot as hell. Damn. I'm never gonna get enough of her.


Week Seven - Friday

"Hey baby."

"Get anything?"

"Some rabbits."

"Oooh, I like your rabbit stew. Yummy."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, just a headache. It'll pass."

"You sure? Want me to rub your head some?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Whatcha been up to?"

"Washing some of the clothes in the bathtub. They're hung up all over the bathroom"

"Any drawings?"

"One or two....."

"Oh yeah?"

"I drew your hip bone, and, um, your stomach."

"See somethin' you like in that general area, darlin'?"

"Stop it. You're making me blush."

"You look good when you do that."

"You always look good."

"Do ya know what that does to me, darlin'? When you say things like that?"

"I just know it makes you touch me, and I'm all for that, sugar."

"I'm with ya, there. We're not goin' too fast, with all this stuff, are we?"

"Well, part of me thinks maybe a little. I mean, it's a lot of stuff, and even though I have you and Magneto in my head, it's a lot different than feeling it and doing it yourself. And for me, I can't really touch, so it's a little weird and a lot intense, the way you are with me. On the other hand, it's the kind of intense that I like. And you always make it OK."


"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised by that?"

"I dunno. When we were drivin' up here, I kept tellin' myself that we'd go slow, and that I'd be real gentle and, you know, romantic or somethin'. I haven't been too good at doin' that. The first time we really, uh, did anythin', I was just kinda all over you. Still am."

"Logan, I know you, sugar. After you, you know, risk your life to save mine and promise to take care of us, I really, really get that you have those soft feelings for me. Don't look so alarmed, I won't tell anyone. And, if you want the truth, I kinda like you wanting me like that. Makes me feel, I don't know, sort of sexy, desirable."

"Ain't no 'sort of' about it, darlin'."


Week Eight - Saturday

"No, I'm serious, what do you want for Christmas? I mean, it's tomorrow, you can't put me off any longer."

"Got everythin' I want right here in this bed, darlin'."

"You see, when you say stuff like that, I just wanna kiss you all over."

"That'd be a pretty good present."

"Come on, there has to be something you want, something I can give you."

"So many ways to answer that one....."

"Not a drawing, though, those are everyday presents."

"Not a drawin', but somethin' you can give me. Hmmm. I got it."


"Answer me a question."

"That's not a present, I'd answer you anyway."

"Maybe. But I want the whole answer, everythin' in your pretty little head."

"What's the question?"

"How do you see yourself?"

"How do I see myself?"

"Yeah. Give me a complete description. All about Marie, the whole story."

"Why that question?"

"I wanna know what you think about you. I'm curious."

"Honest answer?"


"OK. I guess the first word that comes to mind is broken."


"Yeah. But that's not really it - more like something broken that's not quite fixed right. Something...incomplete."


"I guess because of my mutation, because none of my parents, my family wanted me so there must be something wrong about me or broken. I mean, when you're not good enough for even someone like Mystique...."

"Darlin', that's not you."

"It's part of me. Oh, there's more that I think about myself other than that. I'm an artist, I'm very good at Monopoly. I have an excellent sense of style, if I do say so myself. I can be brave and organized when I need to be, sometimes. I'm simply superlative at ping-pong. That, you know, and running. Not jogging/running, the 'I've gotta leave home' or the 'Sabretooth's on my trail' kind of running. I'm very good at that, I think. And that's not a bad thing. I mean, it's come in pretty handy my life so far. I'm kind to other people, you know, except the ones trying to kill me. I'm a killer too, though. I killed those two men in Los Alamos. But I've saved lives too. Scott and Jean and Ororo. You."

"Keep goin'."

"You sure you wanna hear all this?"

"Yeah. Wouldnta asked otherwise."

"OK. I guess if I think about it a little more, it's not just how I see me, it's how I see myself in relation to others. Prettier than Jubilee, not as pretty as Jean or 'Ro. Smarter than Kitty but not as smart as Bobby. Stubborn, as much as you are. Like a daughter to the Professor, little sister for Scott. Some kind of challenge or puzzle for Remy. Some kind of toy or pawn for Magneto. Mystique.....who knows, something, because she didn't kill me outright, I guess. To Sabretooth, some kind of tasty treat. Ew. Could've skipped thinking about that one."

"What about to me?"

"Hard to put that into words. It's not like anything else, and it goes so deep. I guess I'd have to say precious. I'm precious to you."

"You got that right."

"Thanks, sugar."

"I didn't realize how much you've been thinkin' about Mystique."

"I don't wanna talk about her, not tonight. Come on, sugar, it's Christmas Eve. I answered your question. What about my present? Hmm?"

"You wanna know how I see you?"

"No, baby, I already know that. You're going to tell me all the bad things aren't true and all the good things are."

"Damn straight. Tons more good things you didn't mention."

"I know how you feel. I do. You show me all the time."

"Whaddya want, then, darlin'?"

"I want.....no, it's not - "

"Uh-uh. Tell me."

"It's really not fair to ask for this."

"Yeah, so? Christmas comes once a year, baby. Ask it."

"Promise me that if we - when we come down out of the mountains that it'll still be like this. That it'll still be like this between us, as good as it is now."

"Always, darlin'. I promise."

"I won't hold you to it."

"You won't have to."


Week Nine - Monday

"I don't know, I mean, my experience in this area is pretty limited, but it doesn't seem that different than what we're doing now." I really, really want to have sex with him - sex sex, you know? Not just touching sex. I'm ready, I know I am. Really, really ready. I wonder why he's stalling.

"It's a little different, darlin', just, I dunno, 'cause it is."

"I want to try. Why don't you want to?" I know he wants me, you know? I mean, I can tell he wants to too.

"I want to, but I want it to be, I dunno, right. The right time. It's important."

"You don't think it's the right time?" He's shrugging. Maybe that's not it. I wonder if it's just that he's a little scared to be inside my body like that - all that skin, and what if the condom breaks? I think I'd be able to get him off of me pretty quickly, and it's not like I won't be watching to make sure I'm not feeling the whole skin-reaction thing. If that's it, though.....well if it is, he won't admit it to me. He won't want me to feel bad. "OK. OK. Well, I just want you to know that I'm ready, and whenever you think, we can, we can try."

Smile, Rogue, smile at him so he won't think you're upset or mad or something. Try for once not to make it all about you.

"You know it's not that I don't want you, darlin'." Uh-oh. I must not be doing as good a smile as I thought. He's got the 'let's comfort Marie' look on.

"I know. Hey - how about a total change of subject? Hmm?" Maybe I can joke him out of it. Lighten up a little and let him see it's OK.

"Look, Marie - "

"I have a feeling that's not a change of subject coming....." Stay light, stay teasing. Maybe he'll drop it.

"You're stubborn." Good, he's starting to play along a little. Even if he is still looking at me with those serious eyes. Those gorgeous, serious, perfect-shade-of-hazel, sexy-as-hell eyes. Damn. This is not gonna be easy. Nope, not at all.

"And where do you think I got that from, sugar?"

I've got to think of something to change his mind.


Week Ten - Wednesday

She's a little manipulator. She really is. Not really lettin' me touch her. Oh, yeah, she touches me, she makes me satisfied, all the time, several times a day. But no more touchin' her until we do what she wants. She knows I can't cope with that. She knows it's gonna drive me crazy pretty damn soon. Shit, it's been less than a week, and I'm already askin' her to come to me three times a day, sometimes four, just for the little touches I can sneak in while she's all over me.

And this is what I get for tryin' to be noble. Shit, I can tell how much emotion she invests in this. And after what she said about herself, it don't take a genius to realize that she's got some issues to work out, and pilin' one more on top, I dunno, it just didn't feel right to me, and I thought - let's wait a while, go a little slower. Who would ever think I'd be sayin' that, but, you know, it's not just anybody, it's Marie, and I'm really tryin' to focus on limitin' my fuck-ups with the girl. But I can't change who I am and my noble side is takin' one hell of an ass-kickin' from my animal side this week.

Maybe we should. I mean, even if she's not quite totally, completely ready or even if it does make her feel a little shaky, I can fix it, we're not goin' anywhere for a while and I can fix it if -


"Yeah, darlin'?" Oh shit, she's wearin' those damn cotton tights. And a long-sleeved clingy cotton shirt. Very clingy.

"If you don't have sex with me soon, I'm going to explode." Oh, God. I have gotta be outta my fucking mind. How am I gonna say no to that? She looks so good, those tights don't hide a curve she's got, and - "Please, can we just try?"

Gotta try to keep it together at least a little 'cause right now I'd like to throw her up against a wall and screw her silly. Not gonna do that. But I hafta do somethin'. Get the gloves. Breathe. "All right. If you're sure, darlin'."

OK, that's the biggest smile I've ever seen on her, and that's sayin' something.

"I'll be really, really careful, I promise, and if anything happens, or the condom breaks or anything, I'll get away from you right away, I swear." Oh yeah, she's moving over to the bed. Go ahead, baby, lie down.

"OK." Gonna go slow. Gentle. Nice. Just take off some of my clothes here, nice and easy.

"I'll be OK with it, I promise. You don't have to worry about me getting too emotional. Really."

"OK." She looks so good, all that hair, fuck, the white streaks have grown back in pretty good and that just makes her look so exotic. All that hair, those curvy hips, that cute little stomach of hers.....

"I really, really want you, Logan." Never get tired of hearin' that.

"I want you too, baby." Gonna just join her in the bed.

"I'm ready, I promise."

"OK." Gonna just touch her now. God, haven't put my hands on her in a while, not like this. Hello, beautiful breasts, how I've missed you. OK, I'll admit, I snuck in a caress or two while she was sleepin', but that's all. OK, maybe more than one or two, but nothin' too -

"Thank you." Uh, what?

"Darlin'?" Somethin's not quite right here. She's not nervous, she's not scared, she's not upset, but she's not OK.

"Logan, please don't change your mind, please. I really - " She's grabbin' my hand and holding it to her. Somethin's up.

"Hey, I'm not changin' my mind. You all right?"

"Yes. I'm extremely all right, very all right. I am the epitome of all right. Let's go, don't stop."

This isn't right. This isn't how I wanted it for her. "Marie, we got plenty of time to - "

"No, Logan, no more waiting." That's her pleading voice. And her serious one, not her teasing one.

"OK, we don't have to wait - "

"Good." Oh God, she knows how it makes me when she runs her hands through my hair like that. Hang on, Logan. Stay in control.

"But we don't have to rush, either. I want you to tell me what's goin' on with you, baby."

"I just want to be with you. You don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine. And I'll be careful. I promise. Now let's - "

"Hey, listen to me a second, OK?" Gonna get it under control. Gotta tell her somethin'. Somethin' important. She's thinkin' about this all wrong. "You don't hafta be anything. This is supposed to be all about what you want. All about you, darlin'."

She's layin' back on the bed now, pullin' away from me a little. "Logan, I know you've been holding back because you think I can't handle it or I'll freak out or something because of what I said Christmas Eve. I just want you to know I won't. And I know it's a little scary, you know, all that skin around a, um, very important body part. I'll be really careful with you. Come on, I don't want to have a big conversation for once. Let's just not talk about it, let's just do it."

OK, gonna fix this right now. Gonna get on top of her and look right into her eyes when I say this 'cause then she'll know I really mean it. "I ain't scared about your skin. What you said Christmas Eve that made me wanna wait was that you're precious to me. When you said that, I thought I'd better start actin' like it. Be gentle, you know, and careful. That's all. Baby, I've seen you freak out before, I can handle it. I just want this to be good for you, the best. You only get one first time."

"Logan, please, don't make me wait."

"I ain't gonna." No, not gonna make you wait at all, maybe shouldnta made you wait in the first place, but there you go. Even when I try to do good it doesn't turn out like I plan. Well, gonna stop waitin' right now. Gonna grab the scarf, kiss you but good.

Oh yeah, that's right baby, open up your mouth to me. Good girl. Let me taste you like that. Love it. Gonna make up for all that time not touchin' you.

"Oh yes..." I like it when she says yes. I like it when she says please. I especially like it when she calls my name.

"Darlin', stay still. I'm gonna cut a little hole in those tights." Carefully, Logan. Better use the claws. Have better control than with a knife. God, I can smell her already. "I want you to just relax, OK? Just enjoy this."

I know how to touch her like she likes, I know how to drive her over the edge. Gonna make sure she's satisfied before I even think about being inside her. It'll make it easier if she's looser, wetter.

"Oh God, yes....." Yeah, she's startin' to get into it. She likes it when I press down on her stomach and slide a finger inside her, gonna do that in a second. "Logan...."

"Just like you like it, baby."

"Please, I want - I want - "

"Shh. I'm gettin' to that, don't you worry. You just enjoy this first."

"You don't.....uh......you don't have to......uh!....do this before.....oh, God....."

"It's been a while since I could watch you baby, you ain't been lettin' me do this for ya. You know how much I like watchin' ya." God, she's close already. She's been missin' this as much as I have. Movin' her hips, rockin' into my hand, hell yeah, baby, you enjoy it. For you. It's just for you.

"Logan, please, a little more.....oh, please......" Shit, her back is arched so much she's almost standin' on her head. Good, the better it is the more ready she'll be for me.

"Come on darlin', come on....." A little harder, a little faster. I know how she likes it.

"Ah! Yes, sugar, yes!" Damn, that was a good one. Her whole body convulsed then whipped right back. "OH!" That's it baby, ride it out. God, she's beautiful when she's like this. "Oh, Logan...."

"You like that baby? Wanna go again?"

"I can't-I can't move......"

"You don't gotta." Gonna just take advantage of the lull here. Didn't really get a chance to spend enough quality time with those breasts.

"Oh....." There she goes tuggin' on my hair again. Shit, that gets me every time. "Logan?"


"Please, now?" She looks fucking exquisite, just layin' back on the bed like that.

"OK, baby. Just let me get the condom." Gotta be gentle. Keep it under control.

"Let-let me do it?"

"All right." Shit, like this hasn't appeared in my fantasy life often enough. Only there, sometimes she puts it on me with her teeth.

"Is that OK?"

"Yeah, baby." It's fuckin' unbelievable. "You just lie back."

"Logan?" She's ready. She really is. "I don't, I don't really know how...."

"I know. It's OK. Just lie back and relax."

"Relaxation, not a problem at the moment. I feel like I'm made out of jello."

She always tries to joke a little when she's anxious. "You tell me if I need to stop. It's gonna hurt some." She's just nodding. God, the way she looks at me, all that trust. "We'll go slow."

It's gotta be slow because she's a virgin. I can't just rut into her. Remember that, Logan, remember that. Keep using the brain, not the hormones.

"Mmmph...." That was a pain noise, and I'm just a little in. This is not gonna be easy, she's still pretty tight. God, it feels damn good, though.

"OK?" She's nodding and reaching out for me. God, those cute little gloved hands do all kinds of things to me and I'd better just stop thinking about them or I'm gonna push all the way in before I know it. Just slow. Just a little more. Good, no pain noises this time. Good. Little more. God, wanna move, wanna move, wanna move. "Still OK?"



"A little more than I thought it would, but I'm OK."

"All right, baby." Shit, I'm hard as hell and I really, really wanna move. Gotta wait. Fuck. Fuck.

"Logan.....I want...." Oh God, she moved. Fuck, that was too good, I hafta - "Just a little, OK?"

Hell yeah, that's OK. Just a little. God, it's good, just, even like this. Oh, yeah. Really gettin' to me now. Try not to growl. No growling. And no pounding into her like you want to. Just move a little. That's what she said, a little. And no growling.. No growling with virgins. Virgins who belong to you. Virgins who aren't virgins anymore because you're inside them, and, fuck -

"Oh, yes, that's.....that's....."

"Grrwwwl....." Damn. It's just too good, too tight, too hot, too wet, smells too good, feels too good, too much to -

"Oh, that, that feels good, Logan, don't stop." No danger of that, darlin'. None at all. "I, oh!"

"Yeah, baby....." Her legs are comin' up and I gotta go deeper, I just gotta, and -


"Sorry, sorry - "

"No! No, Logan, more!" Fuck, fuck fuck. Not gonna last too much longer with her sayin' stuff like that. Fuck. "Yes, oh, that's.....oh yes....." God, her heel is diggin' into the small of my back and she's movin' with me now, God, she wants it, she's getting ready to come again. "Mmmm....God.....more...." Shit, she's uninhibited during sex. I love to watch her. Gonna make it good for her. Gonna wait for her. Wanna watch her again.

"Marie, baby, keep goin' honey...."

"Logan, God, it's so good....I-I'm gonna....I can't help it, I'm gonna....." That's it, that's it, I gotta, I gotta - "Unnh!" - raise myself up a little, need, need to hold her down a little, keep her in one spot so I can go harder - "Yes!" - get one hand on her hips, one on her breasts, God, maybe both on her breasts, can't, can't - "Logan!" - fuck, can't stop, God, yeah - "Aaaah!"

"Fuck!" It's good, it's so good, not much longer, can't wait any more baby, come on, do it, do it for me -

"Logan! Uh!" Yeah, yeah, yeah, God, yeah, there she goes, I can feel her all around me, muscles inside squeezing, and God -

"Aaah!! Marie!" Holy God, it's, it's - "Unnnh!" Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh God. "Umph."

Damn, that was intense. Fuck. Fuck. God, that was good. God.....Can't move. Probably crushing her, flopping down on her like this, but can't move yet. Damn that was good. Fucking amazing.

"God, Logan......you were right."


"It is different."

"Yeah.....you OK?"



"Not really."

"Let me...." Don't really want to withdraw yet, but she'll feel better when I do, it'll hurt a little less, and I oughta get the condom off.

"Don't - don't go too far."

"Stayin' right here." She's so - wait, wait a second, she's cryin'. Aw, shit. I fucked up somehow. "Marie?"

"I'm OK, it's OK, it's just, it's just a lot."


"No, no, it's OK. I just....I never thought I'd have anything that good, you know? I never thought I'd have you like that."

Now, where the hell did that come from? Because I haven't made a secret of how I feel about her - well, at least not to her - and I can't imagine she'd think I wouldn't want her -

"I just....I just really love you." She's snugglin' into me, real careful of her skin.

"Me too, darlin'." Wonder if I should try to talk about -

"Can we just stay like this a while?"

"Anything you want, baby."


Week Eleven - Sunday

"Are you sure you wanna?"

"Oh yeah."

"You know we don't hafta do it a couple times a day, every day if you don't wanna. We can take a break."

"I want to. I really, really want to. If you do, too, you know. I don't want to if you don't want to. I mean, we can take a break."

"No breaks."


Week Twelve - Thursday

"Um, Logan?" OK, I am a mature adult, a mature adult who can handle this.


"You know, tomorrow, it'll probably be, um, that time of the month." There, not so bad. At least I got that part out and I -

"I know."

"You do?" He's keeping track of my cycle? I don't know whether that's touching or just a little icky, or both.

"Yeah. I always can tell when you - "

"When I what?"

"Um, nothin'."

"Logan....." You know, I'm not really sure I want to know, but curiosity will just get the better of me eventually.

"Your scent changes."

OK, leaning toward icky. "Um, OK."

"And your headaches get worse. That's kinda an obvious one."


"You smell different when you ovulate too."

OK, passing 'icky' and on to 'just plain too much information.'

"OK. Anyway...." Get on with it, Rogue. "I know we've been, you know, pretty much in bed for the past few weeks, and I wondered if we should still - "


"It could be messy, and I feel a little weird about it." I mean, I know people do it when it's that time of the month. Kitty and Remy did, and she said he didn't seem to mind. And Logan didn't seem to mind touching me then before, but -


"Um, OK." Well, then. There it is. Tomorrow, I'll be having period sex. Hmm.

"I, uh, just don't wanna wait four or five days. We don't hafta if you're feelin' weird about it, but I was just thinkin' that - "

"No, no, I don't want to wait four or five days either."

"Good." Damn, damn, damn. I like that smile on him.


Week Thirteen - Wednesday

"What're you doin'?"

"Not telling."

"You're a little vixen, you know that?"

"I know you like it."

"Yeah, I do. But I still wanna know what you're up to."

"That'd ruin it. The whole point of you being blindfolded is so that it comes as a surprise."

"I can hear you stirrin' somethin'."


"Yeah. Smells like.....honey?"


"What're you gonna - oh!"

"Hush up, sugar."


Week Fourteen - Saturday

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." If that question is, 'Can we go again?', I'll tell ya right now the answer's yes. I am up for it. One of the few perks of bein' a mutant with my kinda powers.

"You're not the same with me. Like you were with other women."

Shit, you know, I'm just stupid enough to have forgotten she's got all that in her head.

"Whaddya mean?" This is one of those situations where even I know not to guess at what she's thinkin'. All kinda things could come out wrong.

"Well, I know how you, um, were with them. You were really, um, passionate."

"You don't think I'm passionate with you?" She's gotta be kidding me because -

"No, no, you are, but in a different way. If feels like, I don't know, like you wanted them differently, more physically."

"Yeah, that's right." OK, I can see that was the wrong thing to say. She looks pretty shocked. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing." She's scooting away from me.

"No, what?"

"It's nothing. Really. There are some things I should just learn to keep in my head, because - "

"I want you. Do you think I don't want you, is that it?" I know she's got some insecurities, and believe me, I understand. 'Cause if I ever had to deal with even a memory or a fantasy of some asshole putting his hands on her, I'd fucking -

"Not really. Just, just forget I said anything."

"I did want them more physically. Mostly all physically."

"Uh...." OK, that didn't help.

"I want you like that, physically."


"But that's not the whole thing." She's looking at me now. That's good. She looks curious, like she wants to ask somethin'. "Yeah?"

"I guess I'm just wondering if I make you as satisfied as they did. I mean, I know sometimes you like - "

"Whoa. Whoa. Hold it right there." This is gonna come out bad, very, very bad, but it'll be honest, and I know she'll see that. "There've been a lotta women I enjoyed fucking. There are a lotta different things I like. You're different 'cause it's not just that with you. You know that. And as far as me bein' satisfied, I am. I sure as hell am."

"I just wonder if I'll be enough, you know, over the long haul." Shit, she's serious.

"You're more than enough."

"I want to do the things you like."

"I like everything you do."

She's smilin' that knowing smile now. "That's not what I said."

"OK, look, I'll make you a deal. Anythin' I want, I'll ask you for. Good?" That came out all pissy and cranky and now I bet she's gonna cry or somethin'.

"OK.....OK.....nothing off limits. You want, you ask. Deal?" All right, I did one good. She's smilin', not cryin'. And she just said the words "nothin' off limits" in a sex discussion. Life is good, it's all good.



"Well what?"

"You going to ask for something?"

"Hmmm. OK, yeah. You know what I want? What I'd really like?"

"Tell me." She's gettin' all excited, how cute. How sexy.

"You, lyin' on top of me, face up, me touchin' you and makin' you scream my name."

She looks like I just suggested flyin' her to the moon or somethin', she's so damn happy. "I can do that."


Week Fifteen - Thursday

"How much longer do you think?"

"Few weeks, maybe."


"You still haven't said anythin' about where you wanna go."

"I know, I've been thinking about it. I'd like to take some art classes, but there are a lot of places for that. I just don't know if it's a good idea to go back out in the open like that again. Who knows what Sabretooth and my mother - uck! - have been up to."

"We don't hafta leave here, you know. I can make a trip down for some stuff and - "

"You've gotta be getting bored, though."

"Not so far, no."


"Uh, Marie?"

"When you say things like that, I just wanna lick you all over. Come here, sugar."


Week Sixteen - Friday

"Do you know what today is?"

"Ah, Friday?"

"No, no I mean, what event."

"There's an event today?"

"Yes, kind of a holiday, sort of, but not really."

"Do you think you could be a little more vague, darlin'?"


"You love me for it."

"Yeah, but it can make my life difficult, you know."

"What're we talkin' about?"

"Today's a special day. Do you know what it is?"

"Um, no. Shit, is it an anniversary or somethin'? 'Cause you know, I'm not really too good at keepin' track of dates that stuff happened and - "

"It's not an anniversary. Give up?"

"Lay it on me."

"It's your birthday."

"Honey, I don't know when the hell my birthday is. I don't even know how old I am."

"I know, so, you know, clearly, you need to establish a birthday, and I thought this would be an especially good day for it."


"Because it's my birthday too."

"Aw, hell, darlin', I didn't know that."

"I know. I don't think I ever told you my birthday. I guess it's just one of those things that never came up."

"Fuck, I feel like an ass. I shoulda asked somewhere along the way."

"No, no, I didn't want to make you feel bad. Really. I just - I just thought it might be neat to celebrate our birthdays both on the same day. You know, if you want to."

"Marie, that's real sweet. Probably nobody but you gives a shit about celebratin' my birthday."

"Well, maybe, but I've got a really good celebration planned......"

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah, sugar, let me show you......"

"Well, then, happy birthday to me."


Week Seventeen - Sunday

He looks so beautiful asleep. His face softens and his mouth is nice and relaxed. God, I love him so much. I can still hardly believe how much he loves me back sometimes. He's just everything to me. Just everything.


"Go back to sleep, sugar."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Watching you."

"I ain't too much to look at, honey."

"Yeah, yeah you are. You're the best thing I've ever seen."


Week Eighteen - Tuesday

"Marie? Honey? I'm back. Marie?"

Where the fuck is she? It ain't that big of a place, and -

Fuck! She's on the floor, blood comin' from her ear and her nose. Fuck.

"Marie, baby, can you hear me?"

Shit, shit, shit, what happened, what's wrong? I don't smell anybody else in here, nobody attacked her, I don't think. Is she sick?


She's breathin', I can hear her heartbeat but it's irregular. Fuck.


I don't even know if he can fucking hear me and -

<Logan? Is there a problem?>

<I need your help. Now. It's Rogue.>

<Let me - all right, I see. We're coming, Logan. Don't move her and try to keep her comfortable.>

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.