Dear Dr. Love: Logan's Letter #2
I only wish I owned him.
Ask, and ye shall receive
Please? With whipped cream on top?
Whoever said Logan has a hard time following advice?
all, screw you. I got cojones, man, and if I knew where you lived,
you'd already have gotten a claw up your ass for suggestin otherwise.
Anyhow, I followed your advice, and lemme tell ya, there are a coupla things
you sure as hell shoulda warned me about.
I stopped flirtin with that other babe, she got pissed as hell. Now
she's a bitch and a half to me and to my girl 24/7. What the hell do
I do to make her be less bitchy? Cause it's startin to piss me off.
what you said about givin my girl flowers and candy and sayin nice things
and shit, and you know what? She seriously thought I'd lost my mind
or gotten amnesia again. It took almost a week to convince her I hadn't,
and that no evil telepath or nothin got a hold of my brain. After we
got that straightened out, she made me promise never to bring her flowers
or candy ever again. She said it "wigged her out." She told me
to keep on sayin the nice things, though, even if I don't get em out quite
right all the time. Her little friends think I'm crude or bein an asshole
when I tell her she's got a great rack, but I think she understands I mean
it in a nice way.
ask her out but I lost my patience and I couldn't be subtle. Why didn't
you tell me that shit was gonna be hard, huh? I mean, it was just about
impossible. So I ended up just tellin her flat out-look, I wanna know
what your deal is cause I think we oughta get together. That seemed
to work out OK, cause she said she loved me and then I said let's move in
together and she said OK. But she's movin in this weekend, and she
said somethin about makin space for her stuff. I don't think that's
gonna be a problem, but on the other hand, she's got a lotta girl stuff.
She's not gonna wanna take up the space I use for cigars and booze and car
magazines is she? She's not gonna wanna redecorate or some shit, is
though a coupla things surprised me, you gave OK advice, so I got a few more
questions for ya. What're the rules about livin together? Is
there anythin special I gotta do or know? She agreed to this and all, but
she seems a little nervous and I wanna get off on the right foot here.
And to answer
your questions, no it wasn't too many knocks to the head (I got a metal-plated
skull) or too much Jack (I never get drunk), it was the government that snatched
me and took my memories. Believe me, you can't turn your back on those
fuckers for a second.