Dear Dr. Love: Hank's Letter
I don't own him, but I sure wish I did.
Ask, and ye shall receive
Please? Do it for Hank..
I couldn't leave the big blue guy out of the fun, now could I?
I find myself
in the midst of a very frustrating predicament. You see, I am looking
for love, just as all of your readers, but I face some, shall we say, prominent
obstacles. First, there is my appearance, which is somewhat out of
the norm. I am tall and muscular, but I also am covered in blue fur
and bear some rather intimidating claws and fangs. These features tend
to scare members of the fairer sex off. Second, there is my current
occupation. I am a research scientist, and must spend long hours in
the lab. Third, there is my intelligence-at the risk of appearing immodest,
my I.Q. is off the charts. I have found it difficult to meet a partner
whose intellectual capabilities match mine. Lastly, there is my current
living situation. I am residing at a school, living in a small room.
This, too, in not conducive to wooing the opposite sex.
some bright spots, though. I have a wonderful sense of humor, a taste
for the finer things-I would love to escort a lady friend to the opera, symphony,
or theater-and I am known for my open-mindedness. I also think of myself
as quite flexible-I enjoy twinkies as well as caviar. Frankly, I think
I would have much to offer a potential mate, and am tired of being alone.
I realize that your 'doctorate' is not academic, I am hoping that you may
be able to come to my assistance in these matters. How do I go about
finding my one, true love?
More Ways than One