Terri's Peep Hut ~~ Fiction Archive

Seventeen

Title: Alter-Eighteen: Seventeen

Author: Terri

E-mail: xgrrl26@yahoo.com

Rating: NC-17, and I mean it

Disclaimer: They're not mine, never have been.

Archive: Sure, ask and I'll be happy to.

Feedback: Please? Pretty please? Good, bad, ugly, and 'you're such a pervert' welcome

Warning: Could be construed as having pedophiliac and pseudo-incestuous elements.

Summary: Alternative version of events in the movie and the eighteen series. Logan comes home just in time, and Rogue needs some things from him that he isn't sure he should give.

Comments: This is all Fyrdrakken's fault, really. The excellent story, Daddy's Little Girl, made me wonder what would a sexual relationship that started while Rogue was still a minor play out like? I've always written her as over eighteen if she's having sex with Logan in one of my stories (or at least left her age for the reader to guess), and for lots of good reasons. But mostly, because I just couldn't see Logan (as I usually see him and write him) having sex with her and having a clean conscience about it while she was still underage. I also don't see Rogue as someone in a hurry for that, at least not the underage Rogues I tend to write. But I wondered what might make that happen, and how it might play itself out in their relationship if it did. I'm not sure I pulled that off, and I'm still not sure I'm not feeling icky about the whole idea.

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You know, I'd like for somethin' in my life to just go fuckin' smoothly for once. Just one goddamn time. But I guess this ain't gonna be it. At least she's OK, at least I got there in time. Good God, when we land this plane back at Chuck's, I'm gonna fuckin' kill him. I'm just gonna gut him. Scooter-well, Sabretooth already gutted him, I guess I'll hafta wait until he's healed up to gut him again. How in the hell they coulda let her join the team, I don't know. She's still a kid-she's only seventeen still.

Thank God I decided to come back today. Been gone six months and I wanted to give her time to grow up a little, to be on her own and have a little safety and fun in her life without dealin' with all of my shit. That's rich. Safety. Fun. Instead these fuckers put her in leather and send her out against the bad guys. Against some of the same bastards that kidnapped her six months ago. Dammit, I'm gonna fuck up Chuck's wheelchair too. How could they fuckin' do this to her?

"Logan?"

Thank God I got there in time. Just in time. Sabretooth had her down, was rippin' that leather offa her. Spreadin' her legs open and-

"Logan!"

"What?" Somethin' wrong with her? 'Cause I-

"Your claws." Oh, shit. Came out without me even realizin' it. Fuck. I scared her, I bet.

"Sorry. Hey-you're all right? Right?"

"Fine." She's still shakin', but I think she's physically all right. Wish I woulda killed him. But that bastard heals faster than even me, and every chunk I cut off just healed right up. Next time. Next time I'll fuckin' kill him. Nobody puts their hands on that girl. Nobody pulls that shit and lives. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Tell me somethin'-just what the hell were you thinkin'? Huh? I come back and you're out on a goddamn mission? What the hell is that?" Don't she know how dangerous it is? Don't she know she coulda been hurt-woulda been raped and God knows what else if I hadn't shown up today.

"The Professor asked me to. We needed-we needed to find out what was Magneto's plan was. They needed me to touch him."

"Fuck that-I don't give a shit about him and all his little fuckin' plans. I-"

"Well, I do, especially if they involve sucking the life out of me, OK? I wanted to know." Shit. Turnin' away from me all mad now. Fuck.

"I just don't want you hurt. Today, you coulda been-"

"I know, all right? I was there, so you don't have to tell me, OK? I can still smell him all over me and I just about want to crawl out of my skin. So I know, all right?" Shit, she's really upset. I thought-I thought she was handlin' it OK. I mean, he had her down, yeah, but I got there before he really did anythin'. Just ripped up her jacket and-"Sorry."

"It's OK. Look, when we-when we get back to the mansion, we gotta talk. We gotta talk about this, OK?" And I gotta get it through her head that she's not stayin' on the team. I'm not gonna let her have that life, and I can't take worryin' about her bein' in danger like that. She can't stay on the team, that's all there is to it.

"OK."

"Hey, kid." She showered-good. Smellin' Sabretooth on her wasn't helpin' me keep my temper.

"Hey." She looks so little, so young. "Did you yell at the Professor?"

"Yeah. Ripped up his office too." I think he was actually a little pissed at himself for lettin' her go. I thought the rest of 'em would kinda protect her, but it didn't work out that way. Maybe so did he. Don't make me feel any easier about it, though. He shoulda known you can't rely on plans and shit in a fight. Weird shit happens, and you don't send a kid in to face it.

"Oh, Logan."

"He's fine. How're you doin'?"

"Honestly?" Shit, that's not a rhetorical question. She means it and wants an answer.

"Yeah." I'd better go over and hold her close to me. She looks bad. As bad as she looked that time on the train. Real shaken up.

"I don't know if I can tell you all of it."

"Tell me what you can and we'll go from there. C'mere." Just gonna tuck her head under my chin and rock her a little. That's what you do for comfort, right?

"I'm so scared." Tears startin' now.

"Hey, hey. You don't hafta worry. You're not-I talked to Chuck and I told him I'm takin' over now. You're not gonna be on the team any more."

"And you two just made that decision for me, hmm?" She wants to be pissed about that, but she sounds like she's not actually too upset about the decision we reached. I don't think she wants this. She's more like me-takes care of herself and her own and fuck everyone else. She's not like them. Even after livin' here six months.

"Yeah, we did. Listen to me, kid-you're not gonna stay here. You're gonna come with me-I'm headed back up north for a while, and you're goin' along. Chuck said you're done with school."

"Y-yeah."

"Good." I dunno if I should say 'don't cry' or just let her get it out. "So that's how it's gonna be and you're not gonna hafta fight or nothin'. So don't be scared, OK? I'll take care of you."

"I don't w-want that, Logan."

"What part?" We don't hafta go to Canada if she'd rather be someplace else and we don't hafta-

"The part where you t-take care of me. I don't want to be your obligation any more. I'm-that's not what I want."

"Look at me." Gonna tilt her head up. Put my gloves on first thing. Good God, she was cryin' hard. "You're not some obligation. You're Marie, my Marie, and I get to take care of you. Get it? I *get* to do that, not I *hafta* do that. So it's not like how you're thinkin', OK?"

"Wh-what if they come after us?"

"I'll fuckin' kill all of 'em. I swear to you Marie, I'll keep you safe." If any one of 'em tries to hurt her, they're dead. If any one of 'em comes after us, they're dead. I ain't playin' by Chuck's rules. I'll take 'em out first chance I get, and I'm gonna make sure they stay out. I really don't give a shit who I gotta kill if it means she's safe.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. I promise that too." 'Cause I've gotta take care of her now, and I can't take any stupid risks that might mean I won't be able to do that. "So don't be scared about that either, OK?"

"O-OK.."

"Now what else-what else did you wanna tell me?"

Movin' around a little to look at me. "I almost-I could've been hurt, really hurt or killed today. And-and it's hard to say this, but I think I should. I think I should tell you."

"Go ahead." Just gonna move her hair outta her face so I can see her real good when she says this.

"I-do you know how I feel about you?" She's bein' really brave here, 'cause I know it's a hard subject for us. Neither one of us really likes to go all Oprah and share our feelings and shit. But I kinda-I dunno-I mean, I know she loves me, yeah, but I dunno what that means to her and everythin'.

"Tell me. It's OK." Gonna keep strokin' her hair to make sure she knows it's OK.

"I love you. And I know that might make you uncomfortable, but-"

"It doesn't. I knew that." God, she's so beautiful just now. Like the perfect little thing-like the most perfect thing I've ever seen. I gotta protect her. I just gotta. With my life, with everythin' I got, with whatever it takes. She deserves that.

"You did? Well, I-I thought-when he had me pinned and I couldn't move and I knew what he wanted, what he was going to do with me-" Big heavin' sob there. Shit. She was really scared. I shoulda known. I shoulda realized that just 'cause I got there in time to save her don't mean she wasn't scared. She didn't know I was gonna show up. She thought-"I just kept thinking the worst thing was that it wouldn't be you. It wouldn't be you with me for the first time. I just kept thinking that and thinking how wrong that seemed."

Oh, shit, I didn't even think about that. She's a virgin and that coulda been-oh, fuck, I didn't even think about that. Goddammit, I shoulda tried harder to kill him.

"B-but I know-I know you might not want to-you know, be with me at all or not like that or"

Enough. Just-enough of this. Time to lay the cards on the table. "Marie. I'd never want you to be with anybody else, OK? Not anybody else. I'm not-you're still young, Marie. Real young, and I'm not lookin' to get that outta you now. But when you're ready, when it's time, it's with me. That's gonna be for sure." The way she's lookin' at me now-all that emotion-I don't ever wanna let her go. And I'm not gonna. From now on, she's not gonna leave my sight. Maybe shouldnta left her in the first place, but I was tryin' to do right by her. Well, I guess I kinda fucked that up.

"What if I want that now?"

"Baby, you're seventeen. I can't-I just can't. It's not right." And especially not right now, with all of what she's goin' through. I ain't a stickler for doin' things legally, but I don't want her to look back on it one day and think-that fucker, he couldn't even wait until I was legal.

"It's not wrong." She really believes that, I can tell. But-no. Just-no. I can't even if she wants to, even if she thinks she's ready. I gotta be the adult, I gotta be the one in charge, and I gotta do what's best for her.

"Maybe not, but there's no rush. There's time. Lotsa time."

"I don't want to wait. It's not-my life isn't stable, it's not like other people's lives. I don't want to take the chance that something else will happen and it won't be with you. I know-Logan, I know you'll protect me with your life, butI just don't want to take a chance that something will happen and it won't be with you. Please."

She's got a point, I know. But-"Now's not-you're still upset over all this. You're still upset and I'd be takin' advantage. I don't want that to be what it's like. It should be good, and when you wanna not 'cause you're scared of somethin'."

"But-"

"And you're just seventeen, Marie. I know-I know you've been through a lotta shit, but you're still just seventeen. You don't wanna-you wanna hang on to bein' a kid, to bein' a little innocent still as long as you can. Trust me on that one."

"I'm not innocent, Logan, and I'm not a kid."

"I know you-"

"I've got three people in my head. I've been kidnapped, had the life sucked out of me, and today-today people who see me as a threat or as some kind of..prize-well, they tried to take whatever was left of that innocence. And there's not much left. Why can't I-I'd rather give it away than have it taken from me. I need some control over that. Please." That's the second time she's said 'please' and I'm not good at sayin' no to that. I understand what she's sayin' and I'd feel the same way in her shoes, I would, but-

"You're just seventeen." I know I keep sayin' that, but I don't wanna push her or take somethin' from her that she's-

"No. I'm yours. That's what matters here." God, that got my blood up. She knows how I feel about that, she hasta know. She *is* mine, all mine, and nobody else's. Not for the first time, not for any of the times after that. Just mine. "I want to be yours. I want you inside my body. Now." Shit, that's makin' me-that's makin' me wanna-"Please, Logan. I'm just asking-I'm just asking you to do this for me. I need it. Please." That's another 'please', and that's about my limit. I know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But I also know that I'm gonna.

"All right. All right, Marie." Gonna bring her as close to me as she can get. Gonna let her feel me wantin' her and let her get what she needs outta this. Gonna be gentle, gonna be lovin'. But I'm gonna be thorough too. She is gonna be mine, all mine, at the end of this. "Marie, baby, just let me take the lead, OK? Let me do this right for you." She's noddin' and she must trust me a helluva lot. I never thought this would come this fast between us, but God, it's gonna be good. I'm gonna make sure it is.

Just gonna start by touchin' her. I got gloves on, and she's just wearin' a cotton nightgown. I gotta be careful not to go too fast here. I've actually given some thought to how I wanted this to go. I was thinkin' our first time would be up in Canada, maybe at my cabin or at least at a real nice motel. We'd have been slowly buildin' up to it, and she'd be usedta me. I'd just go real slowly over every inch of her, first with my hands, then with my mouth. Then I'd ask her one last time if she was sure, if she was ready. If she said yes, I'd ease into her real slow and be sure not to hurt her goin' in. Then I'd start movin'-slow at first but pretty soon faster-makin' her feel good. I'd wait until I knew she came-hafta feel her doin' that while I'm inside-and then I'd let myself go.

But now-now it's not like that at all. I haven't even kissed her before tonight and-"Marie, honey, grab your scarf, OK? That one hangin' outta the nightstand." I got a condom in my wallet and I think I got an idea about how to handle the rest of the logistics. But I'm gonna start slow and kiss her a while first. "Thanks." She's clingin' to me pretty tight, both of us still sittin' up, and I think that's OK. I don't think I wanna lay her down just yet. "I'm gonna kiss you now." Just wanna keep her appraised of what's goin' on. Don't wanna surprise her or startle her at all, not after what just happened tonight.

"OK." This scarf'll do. It's thin and I can feel the heat of her lips against mine. God, so sweet. So soft. She's so perfect and pure and all those good things. She's kissin' back, so it must feel nice to her too. I don't think I wanna-it'd be hard to get my tongue in her mouth with all this fabric but I don't think I wanna skip that. Just gentle kisses for a while and then-oh! She did it, she opened her mouth and I felt it. Let out a little moan too when her tongue bumped up against mine.

She was right about somethin'-no one else is ever gonna get to do this with her. Just the thought of someone other than me kissin' those lips or touchin' her body makes me nuts. Never gonna happen. Oh-oh-she's-she's breakin' away from me a little. "You OK?" Noddin'. That ain't much help in the way of an answer. "You know, we don't hafta-you can change your mind." Shakin' her head no. Oh-I see-she's takin' off her-whoa! "Hang on. Hang on, honey."

"I want to."

"I know." Maybe she wants this to go a little faster-maybe she needs that now, I dunno. "Let me, OK? Let me get that." She's not wearin' anythin' underneath, just little cotton panties. With flowers on them. Christ, she is-she's just seventeen. But she's beautiful, just perfect, and untouched. Perfect and sweet and untouched and mine. Mine to have. I like that idea a little more than I should right now.

"Logan-" Oh, God, she's movin' to straddle me, bringin' herself right down on my erection. She's gotta feel that. I'm just wearin' sweats. I don't go for underwear and-"-it's OK, isn't it? It's OK to do this, isn't it?"

"If you want to."

Rockin' those hips down on to mine is a pretty good answer. She does want this faster, wants it now. She's ridin' me just like I like it. So good. "Wrap your legs around me." Those little hands diggin' into my shoulders ain't helpin' my control. Gotta remember she's a virgin and as bad as she wants it-and I can smell just how bad she does-it's gotta be gentle, it can't hurt her. I'll just let her ride me until -

"Logan, I.." She's gettin' all whispery. Fuck. Tightenin' the legs a little more and gettin' a faster rhythm goin'. Oh, fuck. Hands movin' to tangle in my hair. Fuck, fuck fuck. That's a wicked thing she's got goin' with those hips. Wicked.

"Come on, baby." She's reachin' down to-for me?-no, to touch herself, to touch herself while's she's-God, that's gettin' to me. Lookin' up to my face now to see my reaction. "Yeah, go aheadgo ahead Marie, however you want."

Bitin' her lip now and that hand's movin' faster and she's-God! She's gonna take me with her between watchin' that hand move underneath her flowery panties and the way she's rockin' over me, it won't be long until I-"Marie!" Snapped her head up to look at me but she didn't stop, not at all, and I gotta-shit, I gotta-"Unnh!" She's close too, and she's just about, just about-

"Mmm!" There she goes, oh, there she goes, so beautiful. Slowin' down a little and I gotta-I can't-

"Hang on, baby." Just gonna lay her down on the bed for a second, offa me while I take it out and I gotta get-oh-oh-she's movin' to be underneath me and she can't want that, can't mean for her breasts to be right under-she can't-

"Logan.." Moanin' and, God, runnin' her hands over her breasts, and I can't touch her skin to skin, but I can come onto her, I can-God, those breasts are just too-

"Ahhh!" Little more, a little more in there to-"Unnh!" That's it. That's it. That's it. Oh my God, she's spreadin' it all over her chest, her nipples, and her-God her stomach too and down in between her legs. I want it all over her, all over. Marks her as mine. Mine. Mine. Mine

"More." Big brown eyes and she's not at all shy, not at all hesitant-just want in those eyes, want for me. Just me. I'm the only person on the planet that'll ever see that. Just me.

"Move around this way." Gonna take that scarf and put my head down between her legs. Those panties-they've gotta go. Can't taste her through those but the scarf'll do. I could smell her from a county over, she's so wanting. "Open your legs a little more."

"Be careful."

"Always, with you baby, always." No more talkin'. Got better things to do with my mouth at the moment. But I wanna hear her so maybe just one more thing to say. "Just enjoy it, I wanna hear you enjoy it." Yeah, she'll understand what I need.

Even through the scarf, she's slippery as hell and so sweet. "Logan" The way she calls my name-I can definitely get used to that. "Feels so good, I want-" Yeah, knew she'd like that. I can feel her legs twitchin'-she's probably thinkin' about wrappin' them around my head but rememberin' they're bare. Well, I'll let her decide that one. Just gonna keep tastin' her. If she doesn't wanna lock those legs around my head, I got other ideas. I still got gloves on and I could-"I want more, please, Logan, more!" Hell yeah, baby, I'll give you more. That's it-that's it-move your hips just like that. I'm gonna take those legs and hold 'em both down, open as wide as they'll go so - "Unnh!" - so I can taste you as deep as possible, so you can't get away from my mouth and the pleasure, so-"L-logan!"-so you know what it really feels like to come just for me. Come on, baby, come on. "M-m-more! M---ah! Aaaaaah!!" Oh yeah, that's it-I can taste it, I can feel it, oh, God, yeah.

Now. Now's a good time. I'm ready, really ready, and she's as relaxed as it's gonna get. Now. "I'm just gonna-I'm gonna cut a little hole in these sweats, honey, and I got a condom in my wallet. Are you-are you ready?" Noddin' yes, still tryin' to catch her breath. "OK. All right." The way she looks-she was right about this, I think. It hadta be now for her. She's OK, she's not scared, and she's as calm as I've seen her look all day. It's OK. It's not the wrong thing.

Just gonna stop here. This is the last second-the last moment she's gonna be a virgin, and I wanna make that moment good for her. Gonna say some stuff. "Marie, baby, I'm gonna take you now. I'm gonna have you now. I want you to know-nobody else. From now on, there's just gonna be you and me, nobody else for either one of us. That's what this means. Nobody else. You and me from here on out."

"That's what I want." So glad to hear her say it. I knew it, but so glad to hear her say it right now.

Just gentle, just easy, just slow. She's hot and tight and wet and everything that gets to me so good, but it's gonna be slow and easy for her. Just rockin' into her, goin' a little deeper with each thrust, just takin' her a little at a time. "Mmmmm." I don't think that was pain. Sounded like pleasure.

"Marie? You OK?" Enthusiastic noddin' and now she's bringin' her knees up, lettin' me in deeper. Shit, I'm not gonna last long, and I wanted to feel her come around me the first time. I really, really-

"Faster-a-a little faster, please, Logan, just a-Umph!" She's gonna get that, no problem. Deeper and faster and however she wants it. "Yes!" And she must want it just like that 'cause her heels are diggin' into my ass and I can feel her movin' with me. I can feel her movin' with me just right and, shit, I'm gonna-"Yes!" - but so is she and if I can just hang on a little, I think she'll-"Unnh!"-I think she'll-"Grrrrr!"-fuck, she's growlin', she's definitely gonna-"Aaaarrrghh! Uhhhhhh!!"

"YES!!" Holy hell, that was strong enough to pick me up off the bed a second and to take the decision about when to come right outta my control. So strong, so powerful-musta been good for her, musta been-

"Oh.."

"Baby?"

"Don't move. Just-just for a second."

Oh, that's not a problem at all. "Your body."

"Yeah?"

"So good, Marie, felt so good.."

"Yeah."

"Mine. You're mine-all of it now, all of you."

"Yes. Yes. Oh, Logan. I'm so glad. I'm so glad." What's that-tears? Tears aren't good.

"Baby, don't-don't cry." That's not how I wanted it, not how-oh. I see it now-her face, her eyes-they're happy tears. Good tears. She's even-she's even smilin' while she's cryin' too. And it's like everythin' in her just let go-and not just in the sex way - all the worry, all the fear-gone. Shit, she was right, she needed this bad. Real bad.

"It's OK. I'm just-I'm just so glad we did this. I-thank you for-"

"Shh." I'm supposedta be the one thankin' her. I don't think I ever had a virgin before, and she gave that to me. She gave that to me and it was so beautiful. "Let me-let me take care of the condom. Then I'm gonna hold you." Didn't do such a good job of warnin' her what was comin' durin' the sex, but I don't wanna have her thinkin' I'm not gonna do that for her, that I wouldn't wanna hold her close after. 'Cause she's mine now, and I gotta have her close all the time.

"Logan." Reachin' out little hands for me. She can't wait to get me back next to her. I love that.

"Right here, right here honey." God, she smells like me all over her. I could get used to that. I could get used to that in a hurry.

"It was OK, right? It was OK for you, wasn't it?"

"It was so good.."

"And it was right."

"Yeah." Just gonna close my eyes a second. Nothin' better, nothin' more comfortable than this-layin' with her in my arms, makin' her mine.

"Hey, kid, you up?" I can tell she is, but she's keepin' her eyes closed and not movin'. I don't blame her. I don't particularly wanna get outta bed either.

"Mmm-hmmm."

"How're you feelin'?" I think she's OK, you know, physically. It was pretty intense there, though.

"Good." Stretchin' like that is just not gonna be conducive to me keepin' a lid on the urge to ask for a repeat performance. "Thank you so much for last night."

"Oh no, thank you." Maybe a little lightness after all that big emotional stuff would be good. She giggled, so it couldn't be bad.

"No, seriously. I feel so much better. Now, no matter what happens, no matter what, I'll have that-my first time with you. Nothing can change that. And you made it really perfect." She loves touchin' me, especially my chest. Not that I have a complaint, but it's distractin' me right now and I think the words she's sayin' are kinda important. "I just-you can't know how much I really, really needed to have that."

I kinda can 'cause I remember the look in her eyes. "Hey-you know I'm gonna take care of you, and everythin'-well, I just promise it'll all be OK."

"Logan-are you-do you think the professor knows? About us, about last night?"

"Hmm." Probably does. Dunno what his reaction to that'll be. He agreed to let me take her outta here, and I bet he suspected what I was thinkin' would happen. But I was thinkin' I'd wait until she was eighteen and I wasn't thinkin' about doin' it under his roof. That might change his disposition a little. "Let me talk to him. We're still headin' out this mornin', but let me talk to him." She shouldn't hafta deal with that shit, and I meant what I just said-whatever his reaction is, we're headin' out this mornin'. Chuck-well, if he don't like that, that's just too damn bad.

"OK. I bet-I bet he'll want to talk to me if he does know, though." She's got a point there, but I still don't wanna hafta-"It's OK, I can deal with it."

"Let me talk to him first, OK, kid?" 'Cause maybe I can talk him around myself.

"You know, I kind of like it when you call me that." Now that I wouldnta expected. What we did last night-that don't quite change how I look at her. To me, she still is kinda a kid, you know, in some ways. But I'd think she'd be fussy about me sayin' that, at least a little. Kids usually wanna be seen as grown-ups at her age, and especially when they're already doin' grown-up stuff.

"Yeah? Why?" She's lookin' at me weird. Oh-oh. "I'm just curious."

There's the Marie-expression that says she's figurin' out how to say it. "You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I think I like it because it makes me feel safe, protected. I guess it's good to know that hasn't changed."

"Hey-" Still have gloves on, so I can just tilt her chin up a little to look her in the eyes. "-that's never gonna change. And we don't hafta-all this sex stuff-we don't hafta go full steam ahead with that if you're not ready." Certain of my body parts are *not* on board with that plan, but they're just gonna hafta shut up a second. "I know last night-it was somethin' you needed, but I know you might be feelin' a little like you wanna go slower." That was about as gentle as I coulda possibly put that. You know, I actually think I handled that pretty well.

"I-I kind of do, I think. Just-not back to nothing, but maybe not-I don't know if I'm ready to go full steam ahead. I just wanted to be sure that-that we got to do that together." Lookin' at me with those big eyes, all nervous. She shouldn't be. I-I knew she'd probably feel like that.

"Well, we did get to do that together. We did, baby, and we can do it again when you want. You just let me know. I'm gonna let you take the lead there. So don't, um, be embarrassed or anythin' to ask for what you want. You just let me know." And on the day when she says 'let's do it', I'll probably jump for joy. Then I'll probably jump her. Until then, it's gonna be lotsa cold showers and-

"I think-well, I think I'd be OK with kissing. Definitely. I liked that a lot." Oh God, she's blushin' and that's just unbelievably cute. "And, um, I could be OK with touching-like me touching you or you touching me. You know, when we're naked." This is good. This is very, very good. "The other stuff-you know-sex and, uh, what you, um did for me, you know, orally, uh-that-that we could go a little slower with. If it's OK with you. If it's OK. Because you were so good with me and you gave me what I needed even though-"

"It's OK with me." She honest-to-God looks seventeen right now. Seventeen, right on the nose.

"So, we're goin'." He probably knows. Goddamn telepaths.

"Logan, things have changed somewhat, have they not?" He does know. Shit. Well, fine, he can tell me.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Your relationship to Rogue has changed somewhat."

"Nah." That's true in one way. In the simple ways, the deep ways, it's the same as it always was.

"Logan."

"You don't have nothin' to worry about. Look, we're headed out in about an hour. We'll be outta your hair." Well, figuratively speakin', of course. He doesn't actually have hair.

"She's a minor, and I believe that-"

"You're damn right, she's a minor, so what the hell were ya doin' sendin' her out to fight?" That hit somethin' in me. Don't-don't pull that shit about 'she's a minor' when you ain't followin' the rules any better than I am, asshole. At least I didn't pull some shit that woulda gotten her raped and killed. Hypocritical bastard.

"It was a mistake."

"No shit." At least he admits it. Well, he should. He's a smart guy, he should learn from his mistakes.

"It doesn't excuse another mistake on your part."

"I didn't make one." No way. No way that hurt her. It was good for her.

"Are you so sure?"

"Yeah. I'm damn sure."

"I would like to speak with Rogue and ask her-"

"No. She don't need to deal with that. She respects you, and she feels like she owes you, so she'd talk to ya, but I'll tell you somethin', Chuck. You're just gonna go makin' her feel bad and ashamed 'bout somethin' she shouldn't feel anythin' but good about. You're just gonna go makin' her feel like she did somethin' wrong. Is that what you think would be good for her?"

"Perhaps she is uncertain of her feelings about what has happened and she might want to-"

"She can talk to me about it. I'm not gonna fuck her over, dammit. I know that's what you think here, I know you think I did wrong."

"She's a-"

"If you say she's a minor one more time, I swear to God-"

"All right. All right." I could just rip his fuckin' head off, I'm so pissed. "I will speak to Rogue. Good day, Logan."

"You-"

"Have every right to speak to her. She is legally my ward. I am her guardian. I will speak to her and-"

"You can speak to me right now." Shit. Wonder how long she's been out in the hall listenin' in. Fuck.

"Very well. Logan, if you'd excuse us." I'm not goin' shit for anywhere 'cause this asshole is tellin' me to. But I'll take a look at Marie and see if she wants me to go or-yeah, yeah, she's givin' me the look. Well, I ain't goin' far.

"Fine." I'll be able to hear them plenty well through the door. Just gonna give her arm a little squeeze to let her know it's gonna be OK like I promised. Got a little smile back. I'm not gonna go far.

"Rogue, I'd like to ask you some questions."

"OK." Her voice sounds pretty steady, not too shaky. That's a good sign.

"You and Logan-your relationship took a different course last night, is that correct?" Hmm. She's not answerin' right away. She's probably thinkin' 'bout what she wants to say. "Rogue, I understand that this may be difficult for you to discuss, but I would like to have an answer."

"Why?"

"Because I am concerned for you."

"Then ask if I'm OK. Ask if my injuries are healed up. Ask how I'm feeling. That's not what you're asking." You know, sometimes, I don't give her enough credit. Sometimes, there's no seventeen in there at all. Sometimes, she's so much more on top of it than the rest of us are. Chuck included.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm very well, thank you."

"I am concerned about your relationship to Logan."

"Not me."

"I understand why you may not share my concerns, but-"

"No, I meant that you're concerned about my relationship to Logan, not about me." She sounds like that hurts a little, and that's what I was afraid of. She's gonna start feelin' bad about what she did, when she was just tryin' to get what she needed. Some stupid rule that says eighteen is when you can ask for some things and have it be OK-well, that's just fucked up. But now, she's gonna think it's her that's wrong, not the rule. I don't want that.

"I am concerned about the relationship because I am concerned about you, Rogue."

"Are you? Are you really? You asked me to go, Professor. You asked me to."

"Rogue, that was an error on my part. I thought - "

"You thought the team would have a better chance, that we'd be more successful with me there. Right?"

"Yes. I could not foresee what happened that day, and I am truly sorry for how events unfolded."

"Then why did you send me? If you knew you wouldn't be able to tell what was going to happen, why did you send me? If you didn't know-if you couldn't foresee how it would play out-if you knew there was a chance I could be hurt or killed, why did you send me?" She's-I didn't count on that. She's kinda upset and pissed at him about that. I didn't think she'd blame him. She said to me that she decided to go, but now I'm wonderin' if he pushed her or somethin'. If he did, I swear - "I'll tell you why. Because you needed me there. Because getting to Magneto was more important than my life, than just my single life, isn't that right?"

"Yes." Asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole-

"I know that. I knew it when I agreed to go. I knew, maybe better than you, that there were no guarantees about what could happen. And I thought I was brave. I thought I could handle it. But I got scared. And do you know why?"

"Tell me."

"Because I started to realize that there were things I wasn't willing to give up. Things-things more important to me in some ways than my life-that I wasn't willing to give up. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm not x-man material. I don't know. But I wanted a good life, Professor, or at least a few good things. I wanted that more than I wanted to get Magneto."

"I understand, but-"

"And I knew-in that moment that Sabretooth had me pinned down, I knew-that no one-not Scott, not Jean, not Storm, not even you-would spare me a second glance. None of you would take your mind off the mission. You'd just tune out my screams and pleas, and you'd go on with what you had to do. That's not-that's not how I am, and those aren't traits I admire. I'm not willing to sacrifice my life, my friends, someone's body and blood-not for the sake of a mission."

"Rogue, we all do care for you deeply. But you must understand that-"

"No. No, I don't have to understand it. I don't have to buy into what you believe, how you believe life is or how it should be." Silence. I guess that's pretty much all that can be said on the subject. She did good. She explained herself good. "What did you want to ask me about Logan?"

"What he did was inappropriate." Nothin' from her. "You are not yet legally an adult." Still nothin'. "I realize that you have been through a lot and may consider yourself more mature than most young women your age, and you would not be incorrect. But Rogue, there are things you are still not prepared to deal with in a mature and healthy way. I am responsible for you. I care for you. And I don't want to see you get hurt or make a mistake that could be avoided with a poor decision."

"Unless it's a decision of your choosing." Chuck's just not gonna win this one. Maybe he'd have a moral leg to stand on if he hadn't fucked up by sendin' her out. But if he hadn't, we probably woulda waited until she was older. There ya go.

"Rogue, I know you are angry."

"I'm hurt. I trusted you like I trusted Logan. He-he left me here with you, and I thought that meant that you'd look out for me like he did. Like I was important, like I was most important. But that's not how it was." Oh shit, she's cryin' now. Dammit, she's right, I shoulda known Chuck would pull some shit like this and I shouldnta left her with him and I- "My heart is breaking because you're my guardian, you're the one Logan chose to leave me with, and you didn't live up to that. You didn't do what you promised-or at least what I thought you promised when we went to court and you said to the judge that you'd be responsible for taking care of me. I thought you were promising to look out for me-me first. I'm hurting because I was wrong about that, but all you can talk to me about is Logan and what a mistake everything with him is. It's still-you're still-" Oh-oh, cut herself off with a big sob. Maybe I should go in. I dunno if she wants my help here or if she needs to take care of things with Chuck herself.

"All you can do is tell me it's a mistake. Because it's not what you want now. You were-you agreed to let him take me to Canada. You agreed to give me back to him. And now you don't want that to happen. Well, I'm not-I'm still under eighteen, but I'm not property. I want to go. I don't want to be here and I don't trust you to be my guardian any more. Even if-even if I'm not old enough to make my own decisions, I don't trust you to make them for me anymore. I trust Logan. That's it. That's really all there is to it. You can make me stay if you want-you can probably even use your powers to stop Logan if he gets upset about that. But only for a few more months. Then you'll have no right to hold me and no right to make me do anything that I don't want to. What do you think I'll do then?"

"I suppose you would go to Canada." More silence. Dunno if that's good or bad. "Do you really think that I would intentionally place you in harm's way?"

"Yes. If it meant saving a lot of other lives, if it meant stopping something really bad from happening. Yes, you would."

"And this-your relationship with Logan-you do not believe that you could be hurt?"

"Well, of course I could. But I trust him a lot." Well, that's good to hear, but I'm a little worried that she thinks she might be hurt. Wonder if she meant that just theoretically or somethin', 'cause I think she knows I'd try just about anythin' to keep her from gettin' hurt.

"You do not think that perhaps you are confusing your love for him as a father figure, as a mentor and caretaker with another kind of love?"

"Why can't it be both?"

"Becausewell, because a mixing of the two roles puts you on unequal footing in the relationship. Because there is great potential for you to be misused or taken advantage of. There is a power imbalance."

"In this case, with us, I think it's OK. I think it's OK for a while. We won't always be-I trust him not to take advantage of that and we won't always be on unequal footing." She don't see it, and neither does Chuck-how much power she does have with me. She's-there's nothin' I wouldn't do for her, and just a little tilt of her head or smile on her face can make me do pretty much whatever she wants. Wonder why they don't get that? It seems pretty damn obvious to me.

"Then why not wait to begin a sexual relationship? Why not wait until later?"

"Because I might not live long enough to see later." I hate to hear her talk like that. I do. She shouldn't be seriously worried about her own death at seventeen. But, on the other hand, I can't say she's wrong. It's-I'll protect her until the day I die, but I might not be enough. I'd never admit that to her, don't even like to think about it myself, but she's got enemies, strong ones, and we might be OK, we might be able to disappear or fend them off, but I might get killed by 'em one day. And then..well, I don't wanna think about it.

"Rogue.."

"I need a decision from you here, Professor. Am I going to Canada today or not?"

Nothin'. Chuck's-I wonder if he's lookin' in my head or hers to see what's what. Maybe he's just thinkin' it over. Well, she's goin' with me. I don't care what-

"That will be your decision, Rogue."

"Thank you. Thank you, Professor. And goodbye."

"Are you feelin' a little better?" She just broke wide open as soon as she shut the door behind her leavin' Chuck's office and she's been cryin' ever since. It really did break her up, him not actin' like she thought. Well, that's partly on me. It's not all on him. She was right, I did decide to leave her there. Just wish I hadn't fucked that one up.

"I'm OK. I just had to get it out, you know?"

"Yeah." We're almost to the border, I'll feel better and so will she once we get clear of the States. Canada's more our kinda place, and it'll be like comin' home for both of us. The cabin-we're gonna spend some time there, just us. Maybe until she does turn eighteen, maybe longer, I dunno. She's-she needs some quiet, just some peace and quiet with no mutants attackin' her, no new people to get adjusted to, no runnin' from her family, no one disappointin' her or leavin' her high and dry. Just time for her to be a kid. Time for her to be Marie.

"I didn't mean to upset you with anything I said to the Professor. I know-I know you had to leave me with him for a while."

"I never woulda if I knew what was gonna happen."

"I know that too." Aw. Little sad half-smile-just so-it gets me right in the heart when she does that, you know? "I really do trust you. And I don't-I know you'll take care of me where I need that and let me do what I want to too. I'm not-I really do trust you."

Just gonna squeeze her leg a little. 'Cause she said naked touchin' was OK, and clothed touchin' should be too. "You can count on me, kid. You do come first with me, you know that, right?" Noddin' and that's the kinda smile I like best. Happy. Real happy. "Good. Now, you hungry? We should probably stop for dinner sometime soon."

"Sounds good." She's takin' my hand and holdin' it. That's-that's what she needs right now. Stuff like talkin' and holdin' hands and shit. She needs to be seventeen for as long as she still is, and I can give that to her. I know she's mine, I know she's not gonna leave or want anyone else, and I know it's her and me in the long haul. I can give her seventeen now. I can give her seventeen while she needs it.