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Title:
Alter-Eighteen: A Sort of Homecoming
Author:
Terri
E-mail:
xgrrl26@yahoo.com
Rating:
NC-17
Disclaimer:
I don't own any of them except Sam. And I'm keeping him - he's a cutie.
:)
Archive:
WRFA, Dolphin Haven, Peep Hut - anyone else, please ask and I'll happily
provide :)
Feedback:
Please? Pretty please? Good, bad, and ugly welcome.
Summary:
Sequel to Alter-Eighteen: A Sort of Homecoming, which can be found
at the Peep Hut if you haven't read it :) Logan and Marie find themselves
back at the mansion after their cabin life is interrupted, and they find
out that that's not such a bad thing.
Comments:
This one has been in the works for a while, and whew, am I ever glad that
it's finally finished ;) A couple of things - the AE that this was
based on turned out to be one of the most controversial fics I've written.
There were a wide variety of interpretations of it, and it generated many
a flame back in its day ;) But the idea I was going for was - how much
would you give to someone you loved and how far would you go on faith without
knowing the 'why' of what your lover needed? So, if you had problems
with the original story, I'll warn you now - Don't Read This One. Although
I think (hope) this one is less generally objectionable, I've found that
I'm a very poor judge of what gets people's goat, so if you didn't like reading
the previous one, for the love of all that is holy, Stop Here. This
sequel explores similar themes around what love is, and how to deal with
someone in Logan's situation, and therefore, there's an excellent chance that
you may not like it any better than you did the first one. Ahem, there.
Consider yourself warned and read at your own risk ;) Have I forgotten
anything? Oh yes, you must be this tall to ride, please keep your hands
inside the fic, and do not feed the big blue doctor twinkies. Void
where prohibited. No parking on the shoulder. IN residents must
pay 5% fic tax in the form of peeps. I think that should cover it,
on with the fic ;)
-------------------------------------------------------
They'd been
living at the cabin for almost a year when it happened. Logan had made
steady progress, Marie thought, and even if he still was hostile to strangers
on the rare occasions they made their way into town, he was much more relaxed
and normal with her than he had been at first. He'd even managed a
gruff 'I love you' in the past few weeks, which Marie thought was very promising.
It had been
a quiet day, which wasn't unusual. Marie had spent most of it cooking,
making various breads and dishes for the week ahead. She liked to
do all her cooking over the weekend, leaving the week to devote to helping
Logan cut wood, hunt, or explore the mountainside. Logan was sound
asleep when they burst through the front door, leaving Marie to face them
alone in the kitchen.
She knew
right away who they were - they all bore the trademark shaved head and over-
muscled build of FOH recruits. They weren't subtle, as government doctors
or even the Brotherhood might've been. They'd probably heard the rumors
that there were a couple of muties living on the mountain, despoiling their
otherwise 'pure human' mountain community. She yelled out a warning
to Logan, but her scream was quickly cut short by one of the cadre of six
that had crashed through her door. He grabbed her around the throat,
whispered something about teaching her a lesson about shacking up with mutie
freaks, and threw her to the couch, with a kick to her side for good measure.
She would've fought back, except she knocked her head very hard on the side
table as she went down, grimacing at hearing the sound of her own skull
crack loudly as she did. Everything seemed suddenly fuzzy and she
fought to hold on to consciousness.
She drifted
in and out, seeing and hearing only flashes every few seconds or so - the
man moving to be on top of her, grinning a gap-toothed smile, the scent of
his sweat and cheap cologne, the sound of fighting coming from their bedroom,
the feeling of warm, sticky wetness trickling through her scalp and down
the side of her cheek. She fought harder to stay conscious, but the
pain and fogginess in her head were severe. Think, Marie, she instructed
herself, think. Only one thought came to her - Logan.
She wasn't
very worried about him - if she was correct and they were FOH, they wouldn't
be armed with the drugs the government had access to, and Logan, especially
an enraged Logan, was more than a match for five of them even if they were
armed. In fact, she thought, they probably wouldn't know what, exactly,
Logan's powers were, and may not have come very well armed at all.
They may not even know he's a mutant for sure, he might've just gotten tarred
with that label because he acts so strangely in town. No, she wasn't
worried much about Logan's ability to best the men, she was worrying about
how this would affect him afterward. She didn't want him to lose
the progress he had made, but this attack wouldn't make it any easier to
help him return to normal.
"Look at
me, ya mutie lovin' whore." Marie's attention returned to the man now
atop her. Judging from the way he was stripping off his leather gloves
and unbuttoning his pants, he certainly didn't know what her powers were.
Her blood-stained head shifted and she made a lopsided smile at the thought
of the surprise he was about to get.
"What're
you smilin' about, bitch? I'm gonna - " Marie watched as the
man abruptly stopped speaking and looked down at his chest. Marie followed
his eyes down, wondering along the way why she couldn't feel the pull if
he'd hit bare skin somewhere. When her eyes reached the surreal sight
of the business end of three metal knives jutting out of the front of his
chest, she gasped a little before realizing it was Logan - they were Logan's
claws. Her eyes drifted shut and back open, this time seeing the man
torn in half, the top part flying off to her left and the bottom part to
her right. A frantic, blood and gore soaked Logan appeared behind the
departing body parts. Marie smiled a little at him before everything
went black.
When she
awoke, she felt much better, that was the first thing that registered.
Then, an incredibly strong, unpleasant mix of odors hit her. Blood,
death, urine and feces seemed to be in the mix. It smelled so strong
that Marie thought at first she must be surrounded by it, immersed in it.
But as she slowly sat up and tried to clear her head, she only saw blood
spattering the cabin. After looking around for a few seconds, she saw
the bodies of two of the FOH attackers in the living room and began to remember
what had happened. "Logan?"
She smelled
for him - wondering even as she did it why that was her initial reaction,
and soon found him, collapsed on the floor directly behind her, the one
place not within her line of vision upon waking. "Oh, God¼"
She shook him a little, and getting no response, bent to check his heart
beat and breathing. Finding both to be even and regular, she calmed
a bit. Whatever had happened, he was healing. He was going to
be OK.
Wait a minute,
what *had* happened to him? He'd been winning against all the FOH,
and - Suddenly, the answer dropped into her head - he'd touched her.
He'd seen her head injury and touched her. The bits of him now rumbling
to the surface in her head confirmed it. "Oh, Logan¼.."
She knelt beside him again, stroking his blood-soaked hair. "You shouldn't
have done that." She wasn't as upset as she might've been - he *was*
healing, and she knew well how protective he was of her - but a few tears
leaked out nonetheless.
Before she
could think about what to do next, her half-broken door swung open.
Marie tensed for a fight, but the swinging, battered oak panels revealed
a tall man in black leather wearing glasses - Scott, her brain finally supplied.
"Good God,"
he whispered, stepping into the cabin. "I - I thought we could make
it in time, but....." His eyes found the severed torso of the man who'd
attacked Marie. "Good God," he repeated.
"Scott -
help him. He - he touched me." At that, Jean appeared over Scott's
shoulder. Before she knew it, Marie let out a soft growl. She
smiled apologetically at Jean, who frowned back at her. The doctor
was soon kneeling at Logan's side, checking his pulse and breathing.
"He'll be
OK," Jean pronounced. "Rogue, what the hell happened here?"
"FOH, I think.
Idiots." Scott knelt to examine part of one of the corpses, and began
rifling though the denim jacket worn by the now-headless torso, in search
of identification. "I must've hit my head when that one pushed me down,
and Logan touched me to heal it. Jean, I think he hung on a really
long time. I - I still have his powers."
"What?"
"I can smell
you," Marie illuminated. "And I'd be willing to bet that my arms itch
so much because there are claws in them. I've still got his powers."
Jean frowned
again at that, as Scott finally located a wallet for the man. "Rogue,
if you have his powers, still, they could be a permanent addition.
You could've killed him, Rogue, don't you understand that?" Scott gingerly
placed the wallet back in the man's jacket and turned to Jean with a grimace
on his face as she continued her explanation. "You got lucky - he's
recovering - but taking that much from him could've easily killed him.
And now you might be stuck with his powers permanently."
"Oh my,"
Marie sighed. They all were silent for several long moments, each trying
to absorb the situation.
When Jean
seemed about to say something more, Scott interrupted in a gentle tone, "Get
your things together, Rogue. You shouldn't stay here, not now.
We've got the blackbird, we can take you back to the mansion. We'll
- we'll take care of the bodies."
Rogue nodded
grimly, and set about gathering their things.
Logan woke
in a familiar-yet-not room to the sound of breathing and the smell of Marie.
That was an immense relief, and her face looming into his line of vision
as he lay prone was even better. "Hey. Are you feeling OK?"
Logan nodded gruffly, then grabbed her and wrapped both arms tightly around
her, securing her to him. "It's OK. Everything's OK," she soothed
as she returned his embrace.
"I hafta
keep you with me. I hafta have you close. I hafta keep you safe."
Marie nodded, and Logan brusquely pushed her head back with both hands.
"I hafta fix you. You got hurt and I hafta fix you." He drew
her face toward his, an iron grip holding her head. Marie panicked
a little, and chastised herself for not anticipating this reaction.
"No, Logan,
no, don't!" But before the words reached him, he'd touched her forehead
to his. He grimaced as he held her in place, forcing the skin-to-skin
contact, but the pain and pull he was bracing against didn't come.
Nothing did. Absolutely nothing. No pull, no pain, nothing.
Marie blinked once, then twice, and Logan let out a frustrated growl.
"I hafta
fix you!" he insisted, pressing his forehead to hers more tightly.
"Nothing's
happening," Marie whispered, awestruck. "Oh my God! My skin,
it's not hurting you." Seeing Logan's growing frustration at the situation,
she found his eyes. "Logan, you're touching me - you're touching me
and you're OK. It's not hurting you."
"Gotta fix
you," he repeated, pressing his cheek to hers this time and still holding
her tightly to him. "Mmph!" The grunt of frustration as he
seemingly willed her skin to work nearly made Marie laugh, but she could
hear and feel Logan's heart pounding. She knew she had to reassure
him before a full-fledged panic set in.
"It's OK,
it's OK, I'm all fixed. You fixed me when you touched me before.
Oh, Logan, I think you must've held on too long - you - you gave me your
powers and now - now I think you can touch me. You can touch me."
Her lips spread into a smile and he seemed to be registering some of what
she said, or at least that her demeanor wasn't one of pain or stress.
"It's OK, Logan, I'm OK."
"I hafta
keep you close to me. You belong to me."
"That's
right," Marie affirmed, feeling him relax just a little. "I'm OK and
I'm going to stay close to you. I love you." His hazel eyes flared
at that and his hands slid down her back, coming to rest at her buttocks
and pressing her hips into his. The knowledge that they could touch
now, without barriers, reasserted itself in Marie's mind and brought along
with it several vivid possible applications of that knowledge. Before
she knew it, she'd made a little wiggle of her hips against his, and she
felt him grow hard in response. "I love you, Logan."
He was obviously
confused, not quite assimilating the change yet, but he also was equally
as obviously moved by her words. "Say it again. Say it some more."
"I love you."
It came out in a compliant whisper and was followed by a kiss - her bare
lips on his. "I love you so much." Another kiss punctuated her
declaration and this time, Logan hungrily opened his mouth to hers and delved
inside with his tongue, eliciting a small moan from her. Marie moaned
into his mouth and encouraged him to keep going. But at that point,
he broke the kiss and rearranged her on the bed. "Love you," Marie
mumbled again before finding herself on her back, beneath Logan.
He loomed
above her, gazing intently at her. He'd definitely liked the touching
and the kisses without a cloth barrier between them. But something
was nagging at the back of his mind. It was this room - he remembered
this room. He'd been in it before, with Marie. In fact, now that
he thought about it, it was the room they'd first been together in when
he'd come back for her. Memories of his roughness with her that night
came rushing back as everything clicked into place. He frowned deeply,
and forced himself to calm a bit. That night was never far from his thoughts,
and he didn't want to repeat his mistake, no matter how much his body and
the animal parts of him screamed to take his suddenly-touchable mate hard,
and now. He couldn't make the same horrible mistake twice. He
couldn't do that to Marie again. Taking another deep breath, he tried
to reach back in his mind for how he'd wanted it to be for her, how he'd
spent long hours wishing it had been.
"Logan?"
She'd noticed his trepidation, his hesitation, and her scent said that
she was worried. Logan changed his frown to an almost-smile to reassure
her. "You OK?"
He nodded.
It was frustrating, at times like this, times when he couldn't summon the
words he wanted. He wanted to tell her he loved her, very much, and
that this - them touching - could be a new beginning for them, a chance
to redo that awful first time and make it like he'd wanted it to be, to
make it like she deserved. But, as usual, only some of the words would
come from his scarred mind. "I hafta keep you close. You belong
to me. I'm gonna - I'm gonna make you mine, Marie. The right
way this time."
"Logan?"
"I hafta
make you mine." Marie nodded and her eyes became soft with acceptance
and love. Paradoxically, it made Logan want to scream - she didn't
need that, he wanted to tell her, she didn't need to be forgiving and accepting
because it was going to be different this time. It was going to be
good for her, and the only thing he wanted her to be was pleasured, and loved.
He huffed, realizing that all that would never come out right, and he finally
gave up on the words in favor of a gentle kiss.
His lips
pressed to hers very lightly once, then again. Marie kissed back harder,
confused, but Logan shushed her a little and kept on kissing her very gently.
He spent more time than ever before doing this, and eventually, Marie's
body relaxed in his arms and she gave herself over to his pace.
The pace
of things wasn't exactly easy on Logan either. His body was on fire
for her, but he was determined to go slow, to make this last, to cherish
her instead of defiling her this time. Maybe, he thought, just maybe,
if he was lucky, this would be the time she remembered more. He continued
kissing her, stroking her hair and face as he did, trying to convey his care
and tenderness. When they finally parted, and Marie began unbuttoning
her clothes, still holding his gaze. He swallowed hard, then followed
her lead and undressed them both.
Logan knew
that now was the time to say something - now, when she was looking at him
so solemnly. He had to try with the words, he had to at least try.
Marie deserved that, deserved whatever nice words he could muster even
if they wouldn't be enough. "You're the only one for me. You're
beautiful, Marie, really beautiful. And special. I hafta keep
you close. I need you with me. I'm gonna - I'm gonna take care
of you now, make it right for before. I'm so sorry about that.
I just gotta - I'm gonna take care of you now."
She didn't
respond, but she seemed to get his meaning. She always managed to understand
what he was saying even when his words didn't quite communicate it.
Soft hands framed his face, and she pulled him to her for a tender but sensual
kiss. "Go ahead, sugar. Take care of me."
He dropped
his head to her neck, licking and kissing and relishing in the hum of her
pulse, so close to the skin there. Slowly, his lips made their way
to her breasts, breasts that always seemed so full and inviting to him.
Marie was always responsive when he touched her there, and he loved drawing
her pleasure to the surface. Like always, he wanted to give her the
things she liked when they were together, only he wanted to do it slower,
gentler, better this time. His moist, hot tongue flicked out, teasing
her nipple. Marie squirmed and moaned, and for the first time, Logan
let out a real smile. He soon suckled at her breasts in earnest, paying
attention to each in turn, while his hands roamed the rest of her warm, willing
body, leaving trails of pleasure wherever they went.
Making sure
to canvas every inch of her with his mouth, palms, and tongue, Logan slowly
worked his way south, gently parting her legs then settling himself comfortably
between them. He'd always loved having her this way - he loved the
overwhelming taste and scent of her desire, desire that was astonishing to
him still. She was always thick, almost creamy, and he liked to think
that it was because she so loved his ministrations. He would've been
right - Marie delighted in having him pleasure her this way, and this time
was no exception. As the slick, strong muscle that was his tongue moved
slowly over her, she uninhibitedly began moaning and writhing. "Oh,
yes, sugar, please....ooohhhh....." He lapped at her until he felt her
draw close, until he felt every muscle in her hips and legs tense. He
continued to pleasure her, increasing the pressure and speed with which his
mouth worked its magic on her body. She was soon grunting and moaning
unintelligible things, a sign that her climax was imminent.
The demands
of Logan's body were becoming increasingly urgent, nearly unbearable, so
as soon as he felt Marie spasm and arch with the force of her orgasm, he wasted
no time in moving to enter her. He did so in one smooth movement,
eased along by the ample evidence of her satisfaction. For a moment,
he luxuriated in the feel of finally, *finally* being bare and inside her,
but soon he got a hold on his surging emotions and focused once again on making
this time better for Marie. A thought entered his mind - he knew she
liked it when he kissed her as they made love, and he hadn't done that their
other time together, not at all. In fact, he'd bitten her, and hard
enough to draw blood. Frowning a little at the memory as he sought
to correct it, he nuzzled against her face until he found her lips and engaged
them in a sensual kiss.
Marie welcomed
him with her mouth and with her body and he soon picked up a steady rhythm.
Marie rocked with him and he nearly lost control, but managed to barely hang
on. Gently stilling her motions and restraining the urge to lose himself
in her, to just let go, he continued his even pace, and focusing on prolonging
her pleasure, on bringing her to completion again.
Marie seemed
to sense his need and his struggle. For her part, she seemed to want
his passion, his pleasure more than she wanted her own. He felt her
tiny hands slide from his back to his buttocks as she urged him deeper inside
her. "Unnnh!" Logan felt himself teetering on the edge, and
Marie began whispering in his ear, urging him to give in and relinquish the
fight.
"Love you,
Logan, so much. It's so good with you, sugar. Just let go.
I need you, I love you, please Logan, just let go."
"Unnhhhh!!"
He heeded her whispered words and began moving more frantically, deeper and
harder. "Grrrr!"
Marie splayed
her legs wider and began rocking with him again, seeking her own release.
They both tumbled into completion within seconds of each other, with Logan
thrusting sharply upward and forward at the end, raising her hips off the
bed and filling every last centimeter of her with himself. As he relented,
Marie collapsed back into the bed, her body dissolving into languid ease
with the aftermath of her second intense climax. There were no words
that would come to either of them as they lay entangled together on the bed.
What they'd just given each other was too profound for words, and any diluted
communication of the emotions would only seem somehow an insult. Logan
rolled to his back, taking Marie with him and holding himself inside her.
He cradled her in his arms, rocking her gently a bit before burrowing them
in to a comfortable spot and closing his eyes in satisfaction and exhaustion.
As was usual
after sex, she simply let him rest, this time cherishing their continued
connection, the feel of his warm flesh, and the gush of thick, sticky wetness
inside her. They were entirely new sensations, ones Marie hadn't ever
thought she'd feel in quite this way. It brought tears to her eyes,
and she trembled a little, in awe of the gifts given her. Logan's arms
instinctively squeezed her tighter, and she shifted so that her ear was over
his heart. Listening to his strong, reassuring heartbeat, Marie finally
let herself drift off as well, feeling more content, more whole than she could
ever remember being.
Logan awoke
to the very pleasant feeling of being surrounded by a naked Marie.
Somewhere along the way, she'd eased him out of her body, but they were
still pressed as closely as two people could be. More importantly
to Logan, she was smelling not only very satisfied physically but also very
happy emotionally. He only hoped it was enough, that the tenderness
he'd given her would be enough to push back some of what must be her horrible
memories of their first time together. Oh, Marie always said not to
worry, that she understood about that time, but in his heart, Logan knew
that it would always be with her in some way, that it would always be a
scar, an abomination on their relationship. He cursed his swiss-cheese
mind for not permitting him more eloquence on the subject. He would've
liked to talk with her, really talk with her, about how she felt about it.
Her reassurances were appreciated, to be sure, but he longed to hear more
than that from her, to have her yell at him or cry to him or something, anything
that would help her exorcise the emotional burden she must be carrying.
The object
of his concern shifted in his arms and blinked open sleepy eyes to look up
at him. "Good morning."
"Mornin'.
You sleep good?" What he really wanted to say was - Marie, I love
you; Marie, I wanted to give you my whole heart and soul last night; Marie,
please forgive me for not making it like this before, please forgive me for
not being the same as I was when you first met me; Marie, please take whatever
you need from me, please just let me give to you. He huffed, stubbornly
willing his brain to cooperate a little better. "You OK from last night?"
"Very OK.
And I've never slept so well in my life." She shifted a little more,
propping herself up and smiling at him. "I really like waking up
with you like this, touching all over."
"I hafta
have you close to me." She nodded, and began stroking his chest.
"You're the only one."
"You're
the only one for me too," Marie purred. "And the way you touched me
last night was amazing." She paused, seemingly taking a moment to
read his expression. "It was like a beautiful dream, you know?
Like one of the best dreams. It was just perfect, Logan, just perfect.
No one but you could ever touch me like that." He knew she meant that
more than literally and his gaze became serious. "You took care of
me, sugar, just like you always do. I really love you."
"Say it again."
He wasn't sure why he couldn't say it back to her, couldn't make the words
come from his mouth. He thought that maybe they'd done it to him, maybe
they hadn't wanted him to know things like love or trust or happiness ever
again. The joke turned out to be on them - Marie had already made that
impossible; from the very day she'd met him, he'd been flooded with all those
good things - but he nonetheless couldn't yet make his brain and mouth cooperate
to make what he felt come out in words. Judging by her soft look and
gentle caresses, though, she understood somehow that he felt it even if he
couldn't say it. Logan was obscenely grateful for that.
"I love you."
To her, the words came easily, and Logan was grateful for that too.
Every time she said them, he felt almost normal again, almost whole.
He knew it was as close as he was ever likely to come. "I love you."
"Gotta......gotta.....mph."
Marie smiled gently as he struggled to get what he wanted out. She
could tell it was important. "Gotta take care of you. Wanna be
strong for you, good. Especially now."
"You are,"
Marie whispered, with more than a little emotion. "You're my protector,
my hero, my lover, my best friend. You're the only one who's ever
taken care of me, Logan, the only one. You're the only one for me."
The last of it came out with conviction and was deliberately put in language
she hoped he'd understand, but Logan huffed again in frustration.
"No," he
said slowly. "I'm not right," he ground out, producing the words from
sheer will alone. "I know that. But I wanna be really good
to you now."
"You are,"
Marie reaffirmed. "You're just right for me, Logan. You're just
right for me and none of the other things matter. I need you with me,
and I need you to take care of me, and you do. You *do*." Logan
huffed again, but seemed disinclined to try any further discussion.
Marie kissed him, then rubbed noses with him, then kissed him again.
"I love you, Logan, and you're absolutely, perfectly right for me.
We're not - neither one of us is right for a lot of people, but we're right
for each other. You promised me on the train that you'd take care of
me and you've kept that promise in spades. You've kept it in big ways
and little ones. You've kept it every day of your life. You came
back from - from - " She was starting to choke up now, starting to be
overridden with emotion. "- from the worst kind of hell, and you did
it for me. Logan, nothing in this whole world, nothing at all, could
ever mean more to me than that. Nothing." Marie dropped her head
to his once more, but this time only pressed her forehead to his. "I
- I'm sorry, I'm not saying it right. But Logan, please believe me
when I say you are taking care of me, you are good to me and strong."
"OK," he
whispered, more than a little awed by her heartfelt declarations. He
wanted to believe it - or, rather, he wanted to believe that she believed
those things. Even if he knew them not to be objectively true, his
heart yearned to believe that Marie really did think that way. "I'm
gonna take care of you. I hafta keep you close." She nodded,
and cuddled her body to his, curling around him and burying her face in his
shoulder. He cradled her close and rocked her a little, letting himself
forget all the bad things for a moment. He simply held her close and
rocked her, and made the rest of the world, his past, and his fears recede
behind her warmth and softness.
Their peace
lasted for only a few moments before a knock on the door and the distinctive
smell of something medical heralded Jean's arrival. "Rogue?
Logan? Are you two up yet?"
They both
grimaced at the interruption, but Rogue called out. "We're up.
We're both fine. I'll be down later."
"The Professor
would like to talk with both of you as soon as you're feeling up to it."
Rogue's nose twitched. The scent Jean was giving off had changed slightly.
Logan seemed to pick up on it too, scrunching up his sensitive nose.
"Just let us know."
"OK."
Logan pulled her back down to the bed. "She smelled a little weird.
Or was that just my imagination?"
"Mad.
She's mad 'bout somethin'." Logan had an idea of what - he remembered
how angry everyone had been the last time they'd been here because he didn't
like sharing Marie with them. He'd be willing to bet it was something
similar this time. They just didn't understand - she had to stay here,
close to him. He couldn't risk having her out of his sight, not for
too long. He couldn't risk her coming to harm or getting in trouble.
Look what had happened when he parted from her yesterday - they were in their
own home, she was only a room away, but he wasn't right with her when she'd
needed him, and she had gotten hurt. He wasn't about to risk that
again, especially not now. "You hafta stay close to me, real close."
"I will,
sugar. But we'll have to talk to the Professor sometime soon.
He probably wants to know - well, what we're going to do now." He felt
her arms wind around him and he could tell she was a little worried.
He didn't understand why, though - what they were going to do now was clear.
They were going to go back home. Maybe she was nervous about telling
him that.
"I'll say
it to him - I'll say, we're goin' back home." That brought her face
up to look at him, and her expression put a new worry into his mind.
"We are goin' back home, right?"
Marie smiled
softly and seemed to search for the right words for a moment. "That's
an option. We could go back home, but I'd be a little worried after
the attack. Those people, they were from town and I don't think we'd
be welcome there anymore. Even the people who don't buy into the prejudices
of the FOH, well, I don't think they'd take too well to the deaths or disappearances
of their neighbors. Actually, I don't know what the Professor did
about the situation - maybe - maybe he smoothed it all over somehow, I don't
know. I just - I don't want to take the risk of any more attacks."
Logan didn't
quite get everything she'd said, but he knew he definitely didn't want to
risk any more attacks either. That was the primary thing, keeping Marie
safe. But he yearned to go back home. He'd felt OK there - safe,
comfortable. It was very important that they have those things. Marie
seemed to be reading his discomfort.
"You know,
there are other options. For one, we could sell the land and buy a
new lot or a new house somewhere else. That might not be a bad idea."
Logan perked up at that suggestion, definitely. "I can ask the Professor
if he'd help us do that, help us sell the land and find a new spot for us
to live."
"I like that
one."
"Me too.
I'm sure - I'm almost sure the Professor is going to ask us to stay here.
I know you probably wouldn't like that one, huh?" Logan shook his head
in response. "Me either. I think we're better off on our own.
There's just too many people at the mansion, too much always going on.
I'd like to find somewhere really out of the way, somewhere remote, somewhere
with almost no people. Well, no people besides you and me."
"And the
baby." That stopped Marie in her tracks. She blinked at him a
few times before finding her voice.
"Baby?"
"Yeah."
"Um, Logan
- what baby?" He could smell her fear rising along with her confusion.
Honestly, he didn't understand why she would be confused. She should
know better than he did. Maybe he'd said it wrong.
"The baby
we made last night, the one growin' inside you. I hafta keep you close,
Marie."
"How - how
do you know we - last night - "
It suddenly
clicked into place for Logan. She hadn't known that Jean's scent meant
mad and so she might not know that her own scent had changed. It was
very subtle, really - her body was only just beginning to change to accommodate
the new life inside it - and her nose wasn't as practiced or as sensitive
as his. "I smell it. You're the only one, Marie. You
belong to me. The baby - the baby belongs to me too." The last
part came out in a halting, uncertain tone, as though he were trying out
a new mantra. When he saw her expression shift and smelled the worry
bleed out of her scent, he repeated it. "The baby belongs to me too."
"Are you
sure there's a baby in there?" Logan slid a hand between their entwined bodies
and ran it over her stomach, then anchored it between her legs.
"Uh-huh.
I smell it."
"So soon?"
"Uh-huh.
I hafta keep you close, Marie." She fell back onto his body, sinking
into his arms. Now she smelled happy and surprised and nervous all
at once.
"Oh my God,
a baby. I - I didn't even think. We could touch and it was so
all of a sudden and I was so worried that I'd lost you or hurt you and I
- " She stopped, and looked up to him. "We made a baby.
We're going to have a baby."
"Uh-huh.
You belong to me. The baby too." He gave her an intimate stroke
with the hand still nestled between her legs. She shuddered, and pressed
herself to him a little more tightly, but she also gave him a very serious
look.
"Logan, this
is - this is a big responsibility. It's a baby, our baby, and it's
going to be a lot of hard work and - and - "
"I'll take
care of you. I promise." Tears formed in her eyes at his simple
words. As overwhelmed as she felt at the moment, as so-very-not-ready-for-motherhood
as she felt, she believed in and trusted those words wholeheartedly.
Logan promised. Logan would make it all OK.
"OK."
She opened to him a little, and he caressed her intimately again.
"Logan, can we make love now? We can - the Professor can wait a little
while longer. I just really - I really feel like I want to right now."
He nodded, and kissed her, once again instructing himself to be gentle with
her, to make it good for her and the baby.
"Oh, my,"
Xavier summarized as he leaned across the desk a little. Marie had
trusted him enough to tell him about the baby, and about their desire for
a new home. Xavier was still trying to process the information.
"I was hoping
you'd help us find a place, Professor. I know you've done a lot for
us already, but we could really use your help here." Marie looked to
Logan, who nodded. He hadn't really wanted to tell anyone anything
about anything, and especially not about the baby, but Marie said she trusted
this guy, and she'd said that before, Logan had trusted the Professor too.
She'd pointed out that he trusted the Professor so much that he left Marie
in his care while he was gone. That was enough to convince Logan.
He just hoped she was right to tell the Professor all this, that they could
still trust him.
"I-I shall
try to assist you, and I have a suggestion. Please think about it seriously,
especially given your - your possible pregnancy." Marie nodded and
leaned forward, hanging on his words. "On the far edge of my property,
about two hundred acres or so from here, there is a small hunting lodge.
It is bordered by a county forest preserve where my property ends.
It is remote, in it's own way, and may be a better option than returning
to an isolated spot in the mountains. I could instruct the teachers
and students to keep clear of the lodge, and you would be assured of quite
a bit of privacy while still being serviceably close to the school and to
medical assistance." Logan let out a low growl at that. The very
idea of doctors anywhere near Marie, let alone a pregnant Marie, did not
sit well with him at all. "Logan," the Professor began gently, "Marie
will need obstetrical care. It is best for the baby, necessary for
its health and well being."
"No doctors,"
Logan insisted. Marie seemed caught, not sure how to respond.
"No doctors for Marie," Logan repeated.
"Perhaps
- perhaps you would consider someone who is not - not the typical sort
of doctor but someone with some medical training. There is a former
student of mine who has earned his M.D. but who does not practice medicine.
He concentrates his work on research, but he may be persuaded to immerse
himself in obstetrics temporarily and he does owe me a favor or two.
Hmmm," Charles mused, "I have been seeking a way to entice him to return to
the mansion, and this may work out well for all involved."
Logan looked
to Marie. He really hadn't registered most of what the Professor had
said. Something about a doctor who's not really a doctor - it still
sounded bad to Logan. Marie, sensing his unease, took his hand in
hers. "Maybe we could meet him? Logan and I could meet him and
then we'll see." Her eyes darted to his. "We should talk it over
a little, about staying in the lodge and meeting this guy. Can we -
can we have some time to talk it over?"
"Of course,"
the Professor soothed, already wheeling himself out from behind his desk.
"I shall gather some information for you on Hank, the former student I mentioned.
You should know that he is a mutant, like yourselves, and that he is somewhat
unusual in appearance. He is covered in thick blue fur and has enhanced
senses, along with some unusual features - claws and fangs are the most prominent."
Marie simply nodded. "In fact, now that I think about it, his fur
would not react with your skin, taking that potential issue off the table."
Marie nodded again, and smiled a little. The Professor smiled back,
pleased that she was seriously considering his offer. "Well, I'll
leave you to it. Please, take as long as you need to discuss it."
"Thank you,"
Marie said with heartfelt emotion. "Thank you so much."
"You are
quite welcome. Please let me know when you are ready - just call out
to me with your mind." With that, he departed.
Marie turned
to face Logan squarely and squeezed his hand. "What do you think?"
"No doctors
for you, Marie. I hafta keep you safe."
"This guy
doesn't sound like a regular doctor at all, and he's a mutant. I don't
think he'd hurt other mutants. I think - I think maybe we should
meet him if he's willing to come here, to do this. We should meet
him and you can look him over and see what you think."
"I dunno......"
"If you don't
like him, then we won't do it, OK?" Logan did feel a little bolstered
by that. It would be his decision, and he could say no if he needed
to.
"OK."
Marie smiled and leaned over for a quick kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you.
I know you'll protect me no matter what, and I know you'll be able to tell
if this is a good guy or not. I really trust you, Logan." He
tried to smile at the compliment. "What do you think about staying at
the lodge?"
"Good.
That's good - if it's like he says, with nothin' around. I hafta have
you close, Marie, I hafta keep you safe."
"I think
the lodge might be a good idea too. It's a lot closer to civilization
than we were thinking, but it sounds isolated and the Professor could make
sure no one bothers us. I think it's a good idea. We could
give the land, the old house, to him in exchange for living there.
What do you think?"
"Yeah."
That would make it a fair trade. Logan didn't like accepting help
and liked charity even less. "You belong to me, Marie. The baby
too."
"And you
belong to us," she whispered, hugging him. "Let's tell the Professor
what we decided."
Henry Philip
McCoy arrived back in Westchester on a sunny Tuesday morning. He'd
been intrigued by the Professor's proposal, and even more so by the variety
of medical conundrums he'd have the chance to explore - Rogue's unique mutation,
her absorption of Logan's powers, and Logan's mental state all captured
his curiosity. He gave his former employer two weeks notice and started
packing immediately after speaking with the Professor.
Now, after
settling himself in at the mansion, he was heading out to the lodge to meet
his prospective patients. The Professor had cautioned him that Logan
may react with hostility, and to downplay Hank's own medical background
and functions. He'd also cautioned Hank that Rogue would follow Logan's
wishes in this matter - if he couldn't win Logan over, he could not hope
to approach Rogue to overturn Logan's decision. Hank found it odd -
most women would favor the health and well-being of their own child over the
unfounded, irrational fears of a partner. He found himself curious about
that as well. Bracing himself for the usual initial reaction to his
looks - gaping mouth, horrified eyes, audible gasp of terror, yadda, yadda
- he knocked.
"Hello."
A pretty, brown-haired woman greeted him with a smile. "I'm Rogue.
You must be Hank." Hank just stood there in shock at her non-reaction
to him. He didn't even reach out to take the hand she was extending
in welcome. She noticed that after a moment, and added, "Or, um, Dr.
McCoy?"
"Oh - ah,
yes." Hank finally reached out and shook her gloved hand. "And
please, call me Hank. Dr. McCoy is far too formal. I was, ah,
simply a little taken aback at first. My appearance usually garners
a different reaction."
"Oh.
I wasn't staring, was I?" Rogue blushed and Hank found it quite interesting.
Just then, a gruff, burly man appeared behind her shoulder. Hank
could've sworn he heard a growl. That must be Logan, he thought.
"No, no,
not at all. May I come in?"
"Of course."
Rogue ushered him into their small living room. The lodge was essentially
a one-room building - they'd put their bed in the far corner, and grouped
two sofas and a chair into a small living room arrangement. Hank settled
in the large chair as Rogue led Logan to a sofa. Logan never took his
eyes off of Hank. "Thanks for coming."
"I am quite
indebted to Professor Xavier and I very much welcomed this opportunity to
return to Westchester." Rogue nodded, then looked to Logan. They
both had the distinctive appearance of getting ready to launch upon a planned
course of conversation.
"So," Logan
began. "You're a doctor?"
"Ah, well,
I have my M.D., but I do not typically practice medicine. I am looking
forward to immersing myself in obstetrics."
"Whaddya
do, then?"
"Most of
my day is spent reading and performing research." Hank recalled the
Professor's advice to leave out any mention of 'labs' or 'experiments'.
"My last project was a study of the effects of ultraviolet light on plants
with a mutagenic DNA strand."
"Hmm."
Logan leaned back in at that and glanced at Marie. She nodded almost
imperceptibly, and leaned forward.
"As the Professor
told you, I'm expecting. I'm very happy about the baby, and I want
to make sure it gets the best care possible. However, normally, I wouldn't
really consider seeing a doctor for - well, personal reasons. But
the Professor really had a lot of confidence in you, so we're interested
in talking with you about providing care for me and the baby. If you're
thinking of doing that, then there are a few things I should tell you.
I'm sure the Professor explained about my skin." Hank nodded.
"Even though your fur shouldn't react with it, I'd want you to be very careful
of it."
"Of course."
"I'd also
want Logan to always be with me for - for whatever we needed to do."
Logan nodded vigorously at that. "It's important to both of us that
he's always with me." He put his arm around Marie to punctuate her
statement.
"Understandable.
I am comfortable with that." Actually, the Professor had prepared him
for that response.
"I'd need
to see you here, in our home, and we'd need to bring whatever equipment you'd
need here."
"That could
be done. I'm assuming that you would also like to deliver at home?"
"Yes," Marie
said, leaning back a bit and looking to Logan. He took her cue.
"I don't
like other people around Rogue." Hank simply nodded, not really knowing
how to respond. "She belongs to me, and the baby too." Hank
was taken aback by the plain possession in his tone, but Rogue was beaming
a very soft, affectionate smile back at him. "You're not ever gonna
get a chance to hurt either one of 'em."
"I assure
you, that could not be farther from my intentions."
"Hmph."
Logan gave him an obvious once-over, and a sniff. "OK." Rogue's
whole body seemed to relax and she melted into Logan's side.
"So what
do we do first?" she asked, smiling.
"Well,"
Hank temporized, needing a moment to recover from the oddness of Logan's
words and reactions. "I would like to start you on taking prenatal
vitamins, if you are not doing so already."
"Um, Jean
gave me some. I, uh, should probably let you know that Jean and I haven't
been getting along very well lately." Hank thought he heard another
growl emanating from Logan at that. "She's a little upset that she's
not going to be my doctor, but - but Logan and I both decided that we didn't
want to do that."
"She smells
bad," Logan put in. "And Rogue don't trust her. I hafta keep
Rogue safe."
"She's taken
it kind of hard that I left with Logan and she's been very upset about -
about me hurting Logan. He, ah, touched me and I have his powers permanently
now. It hurt him a lot and - " A sudden sob cut her off.
Logan drew her more closely into his embrace.
"I hadta
fix you," he whispered to her. "You didn't hurt me." Marie sniffled
a bit, then kissed him quickly.
"Sorry,"
she said to them both. "I've been getting a little emotional lately."
"Hormonal
fluctuations," Hank interjected. "Altogether common for a pregnant
woman." After receiving a nod and an encouraging look from Rogue, he
picked up where he'd left off. "I would like to do an ultrasound in
a few weeks, just to be sure that the baby is developing properly.
Regular ultrasounds, and checks of your vital signs are the bare minimum that
will be necessary as we go along. We can discuss other measures as
they arise. Are you feeling well?"
"Very well,"
Rogue answered, recovering a bit.
"She smells
good," Logan added. "I hafta keep her close."
"Ah, yes,"
Hank replied. "Off to a good start, then. Well, I look forward
to working with you both. Do you have any more questions of me?"
They exchanged a look, and then Rogue shook her head. "Very well, then.
I shall be at the mansion should you need me, and I shall be in touch again
in a few days. It was a pleasure to meet you both." Rogue rose,
then Logan, and they both extended a hand to Hank. He shook both,
noting Logan's strong grip and unblinking stare as he did so. As he
headed for the door, his mind was spinning with questions and ideas - he
was sure that they would prove an interesting pair and a challenge.
Rogue waved goodbye as he headed back, and Hank smiled at her in retreat.
"That went
well," Marie ventured as she closed the door.
"You belong
to me," Logan pronounced.
"Always,"
Marie agreed. Logan frowned a bit and crossed the room to hold her
in his arms. She went willingly, and he could smell relief all over
her. She'd really wanted this guy to help take care of her and the
baby. When they talked, before Hank came, she'd made sure to tell Logan
that he was the most important one taking care of her, that she trusted him
to do so, but that they might need someone who knows medical things if something
goes wrong. As much as he didn't like the idea of anyone else near
her, he knew she was right. He felt minutely better about it all after
meeting Hank. He smelled OK, and Logan didn't smell a lie when Hank
had said he didn't want to hurt Marie and the baby. Logan would still
watch him closely, be very vigilant for any sign of trouble, but he felt OK
enough to try letting this guy help Marie. "He seemed nice. I
think it's going to be OK."
"I hafta
keep you safe."
"You will,
sugar, I know you will, no matter what." She pulled back from him,
and looked at him adoringly. "I really love you, Logan. I love
you so much."
"Say it again.
Wait - hmph." Marie held him and stroked his shoulders a little as
she waited for him to gather his thoughts. He wanted to say that he
loved her too, like always, and this time he was more determined than ever
to get it out. He knew what the blue guy probably thought of him -
that he was all messed up, and that Marie shouldn't be with him. That
was what everybody around here thought of him, he was sure. He wanted
to tell Marie he loved her, to give her something to hold on to, something
to prove she *should* be with him, that he *was* getting better. He
tried to make his mind cooperate for several long moments while she waited
patiently. He tried with everything in him to make it come out right,
but what he spoke was, "You belong to me. The baby too. I hafta
have you close." His shoulders dropped in frustration, and he backed
away from Marie. "I - I don't - I can't - hmph."
"It's OK."
"No, it's
not!" he growled, taking a few more steps back with an angry look on his
face. "It won't come out right!" Marie frowned a little, then
slowly closed the distance between them and took his hands in hers.
He stilled and calmed a bit, but he was still frowning. "Sorry," he murmured.
He hadn't meant to yell, or to get mad, but it was just so frustrating.
He wanted to tell her so many things, nice things, beautiful things, but only
a pale shadow of what he meant would come out.
"It's all
right." She simply massaged the large hands she held in her tiny ones
for a few moments. "You know, I know that you want to say things
that won't come out sometimes. I want you to know that the things
you do are a lot more important than the things you say, at least to me.
Even if the right words don't come out, you always do the right things.
I want you to know that."
"Marie....."
"And I think
that one day, the right things will come out, the words will say what you
want them to. I know that'll happen one day. You're getting better,
a lot better, I can see that."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
She moved into his embrace, and he readily circled her with his arms.
"Sorry 'bout
that."
"It's OK."
"It's not,"
Logan argued, looking into her big, warm eyes. "Marie, you're - you're
the only one. And I wanna be good to you."
"You are,
sugar, you're really good to me."
"Better.
I wanna be better." He harrumphed in frustration again. He just
wasn't getting it out right at all now.
"Can I ask
you for something, sugar?" He nodded as Marie pressed her body to his.
"Would you take me to bed now and show me how you feel? I'd really
like that, if you'd like to too."
"Yeah,"
Logan sighed. Marie always knew how to make things right between them,
how to make things better even if he didn't. The words wouldn't come,
but his gentle caresses and kisses would. He couldn't give her what
was in his mind, but he could give her his body. That would have to
be enough, at least for now. He kissed her tenderly, and began guiding
them to the bed.
"I must admit,
even with your words of caution, I was not fully prepared to find Logan so
- so - "
"Off?" the
Professor ventured. Hank nodded.
"Yes, off.
There has obviously been some kind of damage, but I cannot make an educated
guess as to whether it is physical in nature, or psychological, without an
examination." Hank continued scribbling notes on his visit with the
couple in their file. He wanted to record every thought, every impression.
"It is not
physical - his mutation is a healing factor. His recent transfer of
power to Rogue and fairly speedy recovery proves that those powers are still
in working order. I believe it is psychological."
"And therapy
has not been successful?" When the Professor didn't immediately answer,
Hank lifted his eyes from his notes. "You have tried therapy with him,
haven't you?"
"No," Xavier
admitted. "He is......he is a man not given to securing assistance
from others. And he is intensely private. I doubt that he has
even shared with Rogue the details of his - his capture and torment.
Insisting on therapy would only break what fragile trust he has in me, and
frankly, unless he would be willing to divulge the details of what he has
suffered, I have no idea what kind of therapeutic approach would be beneficial."
Hank nodded a bit at that. "It is a difficult situation, indeed."
"What about
Rogue? What about therapy for her?"
"I have offered,"
the Professor said, "but she declined, citing the private nature of their
relationship. I believe she is actually handling the demands of caring
for Logan quite well, given the circumstances. I admit, I was disappointed
to hear of her pregnancy, though. Adding a child to her existing emotional
burdens was not a wise choice. However, I realize that that ship has
sailed, as it were. We cannot reverse her pregnancy. We must
deal with the situation as it is now."
"Well, she
seems to be healthy, and, if she has inherited Logan's powers as you say,
she should have few problems. The ultrasound will tell us more, of
course, but she seems to be doing well. The stress of caring for her
- ah, are they married?"
"No."
The Professor's nose crinkled at that.
"Ah.
The stress of caring for her lover coupled with the pregnancy may overwhelm
her. I could attempt broaching the subject with her or with Logan."
"I would
wait. Get to know them both," Xavier urged. "If you can gain
their trust, they may speak with you, or be open to suggestion."
"Hmmm."
Hank turned his attention back to his notes. "I shall follow your advice.
You have not led me astray thus far."
"Good luck,
Hank," Xavier said as he wheeled himself toward the door. "And good
night." With a distracted nod, Hank wished him a good night as well
and went back to the file.
"And that,"
Hank pronounced as he took the ultrasound picture from the machine, "is your
son."
"Son?" Logan
queried as he took the photo from Hank. It wasn't their first ultrasound,
but it was the first time the child's gender could be determined.
"It's a boy?"
"Indeed
it is." Tears formed in Marie's eyes and Logan just stared at the picture.
Hank stammered. "You, ah, said that you wished to know the sex, did
you not?"
"Yes," Marie
answered, the tears breaking loose. "It's amazing - he's our son.
Wow."
"Is he OK?"
Logan asked, finally tearing his eyes from the picture and giving it over
to Marie.
"Everything
looks normal," Hank assured. "Both Rogue and the baby are doing well."
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